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| Blogs > PurplePeach72 > No Ordinary Girl! |
Mid-Month Musings - Warning Hard & Long
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Mid-Month Musings - Warning Hard & Long Mid-Month Musings – warning hard and long My brain is on overdrive, hopping from one problem I can’t solve to five other unanswered questions and back around to the bigger questions of life. I can’t focus where I want to. Hibernation sounds good but the gorgeous weather is helping me to stay upbeat. If I could just sit outside and read all day...sigh. No sooner had whatsamattau and Lady Unlaced finished posting about ‘rents and units visiting when my younger sister informs me that my mom will be coming to my house Friday by lunch to drop off the recliner she’s bringing me. So what, no biggie right? As I said in Lady U’s post I get along fine with my mom. She knows I’m bi, that I’m in the lifestyle and isn’t judgmental. Of course considering the totally fucked up shit I grew up watching her, my aunts and uncles do and live through she has absolutely no right to be judgmental of anything I do. That being said, I do not flaunt or push my lifestyle in my family’s faces. It is an alternative lifestyle and I don’t discuss it openly. My mom is also very supportive of my search for the right strong man in my life. The problem with her being here at lunch is that I was hoping to have some adult play time Friday since I’m off from work and Lil Bit’s at school all day. It’s wasn’t all set up anyway so it probably wouldn’t have worked out. So no Friday morning sex for me, damn it. It’s not often that my mom comes up so I need to be a good and enjoy the time with her without any . This week has been really busy with work. So many of you have encouraged me and asked about how my job is going. I LOVE this job. It is an ideal match for me. I love teaching without the pressure of academic failure or censure. I love getting to know the I teach and knowing that I can help them in some small way. I’m having a serious moral and ethical dilemma because I’m in an economic crisis. There’s tons of work to do on these plays for each class and I have so not been in the mood to do it. There’s a lot more prep time each class now that we are doing rehearsals and not the standard structured class time. I don’t mind it most of the time but with babysitting and the increased cost of gas I’m making less than $50/week. I only get paid for 1 hour of prep time per week, not per class. When I had my van, the cost of driving 350 miles per week to get to work was not great but more than made up for in my pay. With a vehicle that gets only 10-11 mpg as opposed to 22-25 mpg I’m spending almost as much to go to work as I make. I don’t want to give up the 1st job I’ve been able to find in over 18 months, especially since I love this job. I spend more time driving than I do teaching but again I don’t really mind that. That problem is going to exist almost no matter what job I have because it’s most likely going to be in Columbus just like this job. I’m finally feeling comfortable in these classrooms, know most of my students by name and enjoy the material I’m teaching. I feel guilty for having to leave my full time students when I had to have neck surgery but I know I couldn’t go back to teaching full time. My back and neck won’t take all the walking, writing; long hours with tons of take home work. I do not want to have to leave these students and no amount of justifying will make me feel any better if that’s what I have to do. On the other hand, my business training and degree will not let me ignore the fact that I cannot continue to work without profit. I’m going to write a letter to my boss explaining my situation. It’s been a busy week on a personal level too. Apparently, my Viking chasing off one phone stalker opened the cosmic flood gates for men who were not completely sure that I had said no to their advances and decided to come back for a more firm, Fuck Off! I’ve always had this theory that when we are being loved well we give off different<b> pheromones </font></b>that attract people to us. Maybe it’s just the natural ebb and flow, or that feast or famine syndrome. I recently changed my profile to further discourage any new men from pursuing me. Despite this or maybe because of this, I’ve gotten tons of texts and calls from men who pretty much forgot I existed for weeks on end. I have a protocol for getting to know people, emails, chatting, phone calls, and set up meet & greet, continued open communication for subsequent dates and sex. If I don’t hear from someone for over a week, without a very good explanation as to why then I just delete the contact. They aren’t that into me, too busy to make an effort or whatever. So the fact that these guys have my phone # means that we’ve had some meaningful conversations. What is significant is that I had deleted all of their because they had dropped the ball and stopped communicating or making an effort to meet. Comehandlethis had a great post about not being willing to put up with beta, limp noodle men who want to play games about meeting or keeping in touch. My time, energy and attention are my most valuable gifts and to me those are the things I value most from someone I am interested in. I’ve spent lots of time this week telling men that if they weren’t willing to make the effort to stay in touch with me over the last few weeks that asking me to come fuck them isn’t going to cut it. I’ve had a slight variation of this conversation via text, phone and IM at least 3 times this week. A text, IM or call comes in from an unknown number, handle, etc. “Hey I miss you sexy thing”. To which I respond, “Thank you, but who is this? Obviously not someone I’ve been talking to regularly because you’re not saved in my contacts.” “Oh this is Tom/Dick/Harry and I’m sorry we haven’t talked in a couple weeks; I’ve been blah blah blah. But I’m back now and was thinking about you. So what are you doing now/today/tonight/tomorrow? I’m bored and would love to fuck you.” “Uh you seriously think that is going to get you laid when I haven’t heard from you in so long that I’ve deleted your contact information from my phone? I am involved with great men who are twice as busy as you are and still manage to stay in touch. I’m not interested in dealing with someone who can’t bother staying in touch. Take care and good luck.” This behavior really pisses me off. Why, because not only is my profile very clear about me not doing casual sex, fuck buddies or one night stands, I’m very clear in talking to them and still that is what these men expect. I spend a lot of time talking to people before we meet to try to determine if we’re compatible. If I figure out we aren’t before meeting then I make that clear. None of them have or pets, so I think I’m going to add that requirement when/if I start seeing new people. Everyone I’m enjoying getting to know right now has one or both. So from now on, if they don’t have or pets then they are not going to be willing or able to deal with the realities of my life. I very much feel like I need and want to take some serious time to explore the people I am talking to and seeing right now before I add anyone new. I’m really lucky to have more than one great man in my life at the moment. Even if I were looking to add anyone new, these assholes crashing in this week wouldn’t be in anyway worth the interruption. I’ve read 14 paperbacks, romance and paranormal romance novels in the last 2 months. I prefer to read my porn rather than watch it. In the infamous words of my Wolf “Is that making it worse or better?” and again I say “Both!” I do have to wonder though, does reading all this sex make my libido worse or does it help relieve some of the sexual tension? I don’t know but I love to read them! On the serious side, I’ve been reading 2 self-improvement books, 5 Love Languages for Singles by Gary Chapman and Are You The One For Me? Knowing Who’s Right & Avoiding Who’s Wrong. By Barbara DeAngelis. I’m also still referencing “The One: Finding Soulmate Love and Making It Last” Yes, they are all about love. I’m not someone who thinks love is just something we do right automatically. I believe we can learn to love better and have always tried to learn all I can to make my life better. Although these books are geared towards traditional relationships I still feel like there is a lot of value to be learned from them and I have no problem applying them to my polyamorous lifestyle. The primary relationship I’m seeking is the most important and other than some minor lifestyle adjustments it’s not so alternative that it won’t fit with what I’m learning here. Of course these books are also written from a Christianity based perspective of feeling that the sexual revolution was the downfall of traditional marriages. I take a much more liberal view of that. So obviously, I’m not taking the don’t have sex outside of marriage advice at all…lol…They also advice working through all issues from other relationships before moving on to new ones. If that were the case many of us would never have another relationship. Not me, I’m working my issues and moving forward. Why can’t we work on them while we are looking for that right person? So I’m reading all these books to try to help me figure out what I’m looking for, not looking for and how to choose better next time. These books have raised an interesting question to me. Should you wait or try to rearrange your life before you get involved with someone? You know the wait until it’s a better time theory. I personally feel like my life is a constant work in progress as I strive to make a better life for my and myself. If I wait until the time is right nothing would ever happen. Anything I’ve ever wanted I’ve had to work my ass off to make it happen. This weekend is a mommy duty weekend but I’m hoping we will have some social time to go hang out with some friends. A lot of people think it’s weird that I would go to a Bar-B-Q or cookout as a family with someone I’ve met through the lifestyle. I don’t think it’s strange at all. I don’t have to have sex with someone I enjoy spending time with every time I see them. Lots of us have and can all get together hang out, watch sports or a movie and enjoy some time together with around. I talked to my potential new GF a couple of times and we are looking forward to getting together as soon as she’s done moving. Actually, we have plans for moms and girls get together this weekend for dinner. If nothing else, Lil Bit and I have some new movies to watch and her new Wii to play. It’s going to be a long weekend of no work for me. No work Friday or Monday. Well I’ll be furiously working at home to get all the play prep done for each class, my weekly report done and something put together to promote our class on fb. I have a ton of letters I need to type that I’ve been avoiding. I need to write to my oldest in NY or more accurately to her adoptive mom since I got a letter from her before Christmas. I need to do my taxes. I need to write a letter/email to my boss about the amount of work versus pay and my economic crisis of spending more in gas than I’m making with the current vehicle. I need to work on a letter about what I want in a mate, relationship and future. I firmly believe in knowing what you seek making it easier to find. I’m very excited about a trip next weekend with my Viking. I’m already planning what to wear or not wear. It’s a wonderful escape for me, I get to show off, get naked, show off more, find other bi-women, show off the gorgeous guy who brought me, show off my oral skills, his fucking skills and have an audience. What more could an exhibitionist nympho ask for? I do so love getting to be his Nympho. Fun, Fun, Fun to cum! I fervently hope I get to see my Wolf soon and often. I do not want to wait another week before we get to spend any time together. Healed or not I miss being around him. A cuddle on the couch to watch TV will be just fine. Yes, this nympho is capable of having a non-sexual interaction in an other wise sexual relationship. Believe it or not it’s more about the intimacy and friendship than it is the sex. Fabulous sex is just a bonus, a very big bonus! For all my blogger pals and buddies heading out to Vegas, I say STFU, I want to go…boohoo. No seriously, you all have a great time and call me to let me know how much sexy fun I’m missing…lol…Take care of yourselves and love each other well! Kisses, LeeAnn  Kisses, LA    |
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Very nice lingerie. Kisses
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2/21/2011 10:07 pm |
What a great an awesome post Lee Ann and I soooo love that outfit you are wearing very very sexy indeed!! [post 977684] [post 1673788] [post 1567265] [post 2508587] [post 2511504] [post 2589132] Are You Ready For........[post 2587359] Check it out & particpate!! The BHL Blog Interviews...[post 2597695] The BHL Blog Index.......[post 2594103]     
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No new men? Darn...and I only just found out about your blog... I like the rule about kids and pets. If I were to ever go beyond just hanging out on the blogs, I think I'd have to incorporate that rule. I hope that you're able to work on your financial situation, and have fun next weekend! Just some Random Thoughts from some Random Guy. This post created with 100% recycled electrons.
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it's so frickin cold up here right now, I am aching for an excuse to go somewhere else for a bit. Coming to Georgia would be a huge good distraction from here! I really wish we were closer...I could actually help and be a friend in tough times a lot easier...or whatever other useful benefit you could think of. Like I said earlier...good at lifting heavy things, for example! hang in there friend...
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2/18/2011 10:10 am |
Why do men fawn over you? Just look at you! Throw in the lifestyle and you are a package that make men crazy. I am humbled that I can at least read about your exploits.
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2/18/2011 7:23 am |
sexy pic    looking for friends for fun and friendship 
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It IS quite the time for self-reflection, no? I think it's the moon. It's admirable that you are working on you, and so very different how you work on relationships versus how I do. I hope you can resolve the work situation...gas prices as supposed to rise! Maybe they can give you a per-mile stipend? Ur.Grrl.CC 
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What no new mean? Does that mean I shouldn't try to get a hold of you for the unplanned 6 hour lay over in GA? I don't know how else I'll spend that time.  I admit I'm not always the best at keeping in touch with people (I figure I should have something specific to talk about with people so that I don't end up boring them Just the odd way my brain works I guess). But I can't see not making an effort with a woman, especially if I have or would like to sleep with her sometime. And then call up out of the blue to try and "hook up." Even I'm not that clueless (and I can get pretty clueless). Well I have to go check my packing job for the 10th time wouldn't want to for get some thing important would I? (cough *condoms* cough) I wont have my laptop with me but I'll make sure I let you know how it went when I get back.
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