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Blogs > demonicsexkitten > Life, or something like it

Here I go again.  

demonicsexkitten 49F
5181 posts
10/30/2013 10:06 pm

Last Read:
11/3/2013 7:31 pm
Here I go again.

Wow... my life is finally moving in the right direction. I'm still not 100% but ... at least 80% over all the hurt and upset of the past year (sometimes more)... and I get hit with more upsetting drama.

Maybe being a total recluse is a good idea. Don't have to deal with emotions, my own or others. No falling in love (or if I do: suffer it in silence and keep my secret). Nothing anybody else does will in any way impact me or tear me apart mentally and/or emotionally.

Sigh. I'm not really going to share what happened. Just... I'm so very sick of hurting. And my eyes burn from hours of crying today.

I've been trying these past few months to find people around town to do things with, platonically. I know, I know! I have offers then I don't follow through because... well, I'm an introvert and used to being home in the evenings. Actually one friend (more of an introvert than I am!) pointed out that I'm surrounded by and dealing with people 8+ hours a day, Mon-Fri... it's no wonder I get home and become anti-social.

The point is... I'm going to be needing distraction to keep myself from thinking for a while. Not that I've ever had luck turning my brain off--though at the moment it hurts too much to think much at all (and I'm trying desperately not to).

Back to my<b> mantra </font></b>for the year:

"Eat. Sleep. Be Well of Heart. Breathe."

Even if it means force-feeding myself, apparently. It's taken me 1.5 hours to force down 1/4 cup of steamed veggies.

demonicsexkitten 49F
10694 posts
10/31/2013 3:49 pm

 harborbabe: Thanks! I hope your eyes are doing better.

backpocket: *KISS!* Thanks I wander by your blog from time to time, I will stop by more often. I've been terrible at reading blogs lately
(or even books! horror of horrors).


rm_travelguyoh 63M
12264 posts
11/1/2013 7:18 am

 I can relate to your predicament, but i've learned that life is a journey and when things get me down -i escape with my camera on a destination to nowhere (((hugs)))
some times the things that comes from between my ears makes me pause for reflection


rm_tmrop650 64M
Ask me for a photo
51 posts
11/3/2013 6:46 pm

 Hi Girl, Just be careful staying in all the time can become a habit too. Find something you like to do as a hobby, and get out and do it. If it is working out and then going to fun runs and such.


demonicsexkitten 49F
10694 posts
11/3/2013 7:30 pm

 tmrop: I actually don't like working out lol... but I'm trying to make it a habit. And I need to remember to eat. I've been crying non-stop for an hour now. Of course... I also just re-read *his* blog from 2005. Sadly things he said then just make me want to go beat him up now. I still don't understand why (or when) he chose to stop being a "good guy".

Why do men do that? "I'm a good guy, women only want to be friends. So fine... I will use them for sex and be a jerk like all the others... then I'll have women want me too". Of course he only has sex with women he's friends with... but makes them believe they're the only one, makes sure they are monogamous to him. And every single one of them is in love with him. And he's sleeping with god knows how many others (I *know* of 4).

8 years of in love on my part. I'm trying really hard to make exercise a habit.

Sundays really suck. My gym is closed and I can't go to work.

Sorry... I apparently saw your reply at a wrong time


demonicsexkitten 49F
10694 posts
11/3/2013 7:31 pm

 travelguyoh: *HUG*... it's too cold to wander out with my camera loll.


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