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How to die a penniless virgin in 817 easy steps
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How to die a penniless virgin in 817 easy steps Is hot sauce supposed to be some kind of hang-over cure ? When we were gaming today my buddies were pouring hot sauce on everything they ate and then kept asking if there was any hotter stuff they could use . Maybe it just perks you up through pain ? This morning when I was driving I saw an old man walking his dog . Said was not on a leash . There was a cat sitting on a porch and the murdered it while the old man failed his stupid old arms ineffectually . And I thought to myself "I should punch that old man in the dick , or at the very least stomp the dog's skull in ." But I quickly realized that that was an emotional reaction . There would be do point in punching the old moron in his old moron dick . Would that bring the cat back ? No . Would it make him stop being a moron ? No . Would it make up for the 70-80 years he's spent being a stupid moron and letting a succession of dogs run around untended to kill other people's pets and ? No . Even killing the is essentially meaningless - its not the dog's fault some idiot who couldn't take care of it got it . The only outcome would be going to jail and ending up some dude's bitch . As always the correct thing to do was to do nothing . Stuff just happens . And none of it means anything . Speaking of bitches , there's a rumor on the internet that Aaron Paul is going to be Han Solo in one of the new Star Wars movies . Its the internet so I assume there's very little chance of it coming to fruition , but it did get me to thinking . I've never seen that dude in anything besides Breaking Bad . I thought he was great in that role , but that doesn't mean he'd be good at anything else . Do you even need to be a good actor to be Han Solo ? All of the heavy lifting is kind of already done - just put on a vest and fly around with a wookie and people will love you . I think a few years ago Nathan Fillion would have been a dope Han Solo (which he basically was on Firefly) but he's getting too old and weird looking for that now . No one else really comes to mind .  My last few blog posts have been pretty ugly and mean spirited . I think I'm just going to go with that . Ergo . I just read a blog where a dude was complaining about Adult Dating zone censoring him and he kept bringing up the 1st Amendment . It annoys me when people do that . The Bill of Right has to be the thing people love to talk about the most that usually they have no idea of what it really says . Blogging on Adult Dating zone has literally nothing to do with freedom of speech - they could decide tomorrow that they're going to ban the words "orange" and "crabapple" and that in no way would be an infringement of your 1st Amendment rights . They can censor whatever they want and if don't like it you have the freedom to go blog or tweet or instagram or say whatever you want somewhere else . That's how this works . Yesterday I was daydreaming about choking my new co-worker to death while everything screamed and tried to pull me off him (weird that in my own daydream no one is one my side) and I realized that I was really fantasizing about killing him for the wrong reasons . You see it doesn't matter if he hates Iowa and says that everyone from here is a [banned topic] fatass meth-head , what matter is that he is a terrible person and the world would be a better place if he wasn't in in - THAT'S why I should want to strangle him . Plus I was falling into the trap of being proud of where I come from for no reason other than that I come from there . I mean Iowa is the pigshit capital of the world so really how great can it be ? He was wrong to say its the pigshit capital of the universe though because if you believe in an infinite universe that means matter is linked through a single nonlocal particle - which means that somewhere out there here's an entire galaxy that is entirely made of pigshit . Iowa doesn't look so bad now does it ? Sometimes I worry that I get defensive about these things because I secretly hate it here . But then I remember I pretty much hate everything so whatevs . Did you know what I thought Bimini was its own country ? Its not .  If I got wind that the police were coming to arrest me (see above) and I hoped a plane to Bimini and the Commonwealth of The Bahamas wouldn't extradite me back to the US could I retain a lawyer and remotely assist him in preparing a defense for myself which could then be taken to trial where I would be proven innocent ? Or in order to benefit from a trial would I have to turn myself in to the judiciary ? Or would any evidence of my<b> innocence </font></b>be used to void said arrest warrants ? Or would such exculpatory evidence be used in some kind of pre-trial motion ? There's so much I don't know about the law . Maybe a few more episodes of the Wire will change that . Speaking of , I just started watching it and 6 episodes in I have to say while I enjoy it and plan to keep watching it I'm not sure why it was so highly acclaimed . The storytelling seems very lazy at times . There's been a couple times where something just randomly happen by accident to move the story forward - which is LAAAAAAAAAME . At least give me a flimsy pretext to hang my dick on . Maybe those things are explained later ? Also that show makes me feel super racist because I keep wondering if Greggs is the same chick from Walking Dead . Although if it is I suppose that's not racist ? I don't know . The point is you obviously know nothing about defeating trolls Kenny Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I think Aaron Paul is going to have to work very hard to overcome people automatically assuming that YO, bitch is going to be the next thing out of his mouth. Han Solo saying YO bitch...that would be kind of funny.   
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Have you ever met any female that likes hot sauce? Sometimes it's a macho thing. The brother of one of my coworkers plays "Bud in the eye". Said brother and his friend hold an open bottle of Bud to their eye to see who can stand the pain long enough. That might also explain why they aren't married and don't have any kids. It's also a good idea to skip the mayo at the brothers house. I have both Hulu and Netflix. It provides me with ample quantities of bad movies to watch. Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.
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