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Life, Love, And My Proverbial House Of Cards
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Life, Love, And My Proverbial House Of Cards Its an understatement to say that this first post back from vacation has turned out much different than I had planned. I wanted to tell you what a great time I had in New England and crack a few jokes in my usual style…but recent circumstances has superseded that idea. Don’t worry…no one has died or anything. But first let me tell you that I landed safely, my honey picked me up from the airport and I called my girlfriend, Ruby Red to let her know I am safe and can’t wait to see her and my home. (Yeah, I know…honey and girlfriend…without even trying, I’ve become that guy.) Ruby Red then told me that there is one more surprise in the works at my place and actually she’d rather I stay with my honey for one more day, if at all possible. Wow…I’m pretty aware that’s not something the average guy hears often…like I said…that guy. Finally I came home from a long vacation that has been extended by a day to find Ruby Red and a small welcoming party of helpers who were apparently in on the surprise. There was a faint smell of brand new wood and furnishings. It turned out that while away, Ruby had keyed into my place, installed an elaborate system of top quality shelves and bins and re-sorted and reorganized all of my Lego into neat drawers and compartments…a feat that was much needed but assuredly took countless mind<b> numbing </font></b>hours, even days. Not only that, but I was staring at a new TV that was clearer and larger than the one I had and was sitting atop a new stand. There were shelves installed that nicely showcased my prize-winning lego creations and she had displayed them all handsomely…without a mishap! My bedroom was reorganized, my old TV looked great in there and my bathroom was cleaned thoroughly. On my kitchen table, Ruby had built the words “I love you” in lego with each letter alternating in red and white…this happened to be the first thing I saw when I walked in and it made me smile. Suddenly the expensive wine and the small assortment of gifts I had in store for Rudy Red seemed grossly inadequate in comparison. I was beaming with joy, with pride, with love and in spite of my urge to bestow the world with a heaping serving of gratitude I remained …mostly speechless. It turns out mostly speechless would later become a reoccurring theme here. I walked into work this morning for the first time in two weeks with the confidence and swagger of a guy on top of the world. Reacquainting myself with my desk, my comfy swivel chair and setting things up at my work station back to the way I liked them, I knew that sifting through my phone messages and emails that have accumulated over the weeks would be a daunting one…I’d have to weed out and delete the unimportant ones and address the important stuff in some kind of order not yet figured out. I smiled at each of my co-workers as they walked in (note I was there before them) as I sifted through a long list of things I wanted to get done. Back from vacation, I was refreshed, happy, my head was clear and I was actually ready to take on the world as the cliché goes…actually ready to make a difference. I had a proverbial winning hand and with it I was building a (also proverbial) towering house of cards when the ironic phone call came. I answered cheerily in my professional phone voice with a smile; because I knew that people can actually hear a smile over the phone…and plus I just couldn’t help it…I was grinning ear to ear all morning. It was the Director of HR, she said my boss was with her and they’d like me to come upstairs to speak to them. After regaining my breath, I told them I’d be right there. They don’t exactly call you up to HR to say hi and see how you’ve been. My worries on the seemingly endless elevator ride up to the top floor had been confirmed…they said it was a very difficult decision but after almost four years of service, they were letting me go. (And there toppled my proverbial house of cards.) There was a very long pause before I could gather the voice to ask their reasoning. They said as of late I’ve been distracted by other projects, other non-work related endeavors and it has effected my performance on the job. They said I wasn’t as conscientious as I used to be and mistakes were occurring. Normally I’m someone with a quick and intelligent response, someone with a well thought out and meaningful answer but I was reeling and once again…speechless. In my long silence, I thought back on the raises I’ve demanded and actually gotten, I thought back on all the letters and cards downstairs at my desk from students and parents telling me what a great job I’ve done. All the praise and all the accolades and the fact that I was back from vacation, refreshed and once again ready to take on big things at work seemed by this point weird and ironic. In the long silence I also thought about what has been said to me by friends and co-workers…that its nearly impossible to get fired from this place. You’d have to go mentally insane and babble on about quarks, quasars, time travel and quantum physics…then threaten to kill someone…which happened to a guy a couple years back. That’s how you get let go from here. Needless to say, I’ve done none of that…in fact I was also thinking in the long silence that I didn’t fit the description of a guy whose been fired. Usually they’re disgruntled types who hate their job, hate the people they work with and are glad to go anyway. This wasn’t me. In spite of that fact, I had no fight in me, no defense and even if I did, my mouth was too dry to let out any words. The problem was they were right…I was indeed distracted by all kinds of other endeavors…all kinds of other obligations and with tight deadlines looming, in the long silence, I also thought with irony that I now had time to complete them. Still, with the letters of praise and accolades, I just didn’t seem to fit the description of a guy whose just been fired. Probably sensing my thoughts of irony and accolades they broke the silence and told me that I would be given a generous severance package that should take care of me for a few months. Also my health and dental benefits would continue for a spell and in spite of the fact that I had just taken a two week vacation I still had plenty of accumulated leave time that they would give back to me in the form of payment. They told me that even though I was let go, I can still reap full unemployment benefits because I’ve been such a swell guy and furthermore “some very nice things” can be said for me should I need a reference for future employment elsewhere. “Some very nice things” I knew meant other stuff could follow should the inevitable question of “why was he let go” be asked. Undoubtedly it’ll be a tender spot in the slew of job interviews that are sure to come and as of yet I’m unsure how that’ll be handled. Its funny I don’t even play cards, but to go back to that analogy, I am someone who always has a winning hand, so to speak. With my poker face in check, I always have a secret…a plan…and a backup plan should my first plan fail unexpectedly…but this time I’m stumped. My proverbial house of cards had just toppled a few short hours ago and as I’m picking up my cards again I’m not quite sure if I’m holding a hand that I should fold or the winning Royal Flush. Nothing is clear to me now…other than the notion that my first instinct was to write this all down as soon as I got home. There is that sneaking feeling that losing a job has always been a blessing in disguise…there has always been another one more rewarding and with better pay to replace it, but still I have to prioritize and I have a lot of things to get done. In spite of the fact that I now have seemingly a lot of free time on my hands, writing humorous posts for you, my dear readers, may or may not be tops on my list of things to do and I hope that you can find it in your hearts to understand. I will still work on my 5000th commenter’s prize as promised and will still do the requisite roasting post to go along with it…but other than that I have no guarantees right now. For those who have just discovered me, you’ve stumbled upon a guy who has a long legacy here as a writer…as a good writer but is suddenly at a crossroads and not sure what to do about it. You’re welcome to read, at your leisure, some or all of my work and as my dedicated readers can attest, you’ll be in for something quite different, quite special. I may write some more…I may not…but the mood here calls for a hiatus, at least for a little while. For those of you new and old who have become my dear friends over the years, you’re always welcome to contact me any way you know how. Rest assured I’ll be glad to hear from you, no matter what. On a final note before I move on to wherever the winds take me, my opinion of Ruby Red’s message of love built in lego was this: Its very cute, endearing, heartfelt and wonderful. I thought (at the time) that it probably wouldn’t win any trophies at conventions, but for someone who’s only had a polite tolerance for lego and gets frustrated the few times she had tried to build something, she has done a great job. Now, as I’m writing this, my opinion of her cute little gesture has skyrocketed. I look at all the work she has done and I now know that her message of love means more than all the trophies in the world. Also now, in this tough, uncertain time, I look over at the words “I love you” on the kitchen table and it means more to me than she’ll ever know.  |
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Darlin, Just remember when one door closes, another one opens. tender hugs........m.
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Honey, you already know it's for the best even if you just don't know exactly why yet. 
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6/26/2008 6:12 pm |
That was a long post.
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6/26/2008 6:13 pm |
I have only recently discovered you, but the opinions of others I respect speaks volumes. As a writer, if you need something to tide you over, there are a lot of occasionally menial but always available jobs on elance. Check it out, you may find a perfect niche. It's been a way for me to combine my passion for words with something that is marketable. Good luck to you! I Am FFE, and I continue to approve these messages [post 1930488]
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6/26/2008 6:17 pm |
I did read it all though. And here's one thing, when asked what happened with your 'leaving' your last job, take what they said and turn it around (on its ear if you will). They said as of late I’ve been distracted by other projects, other non-work related endeavors and it has effected my performance on the job. They said I wasn’t as conscientious as I used to be and mistakes were occurring. becomes After working there for (however many years) my interests began to shift away from that of the company. I found myself taking on unique projects to better sides of my creativity and skill-set that weren't being explored in my current situation. Here at (new job interview place) I think I might be able to tap into some of those ideas, and bring a new interest and freshness to your company. or something.
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Sorry to hear this, as I have only newly discovered you, but as you yourself said, something better always comes along. "Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened." 
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6/26/2008 6:47 pm |
I have to tell you something more than what I texted earlier....they can't say anything negative about you. All they can answer in a call about your employment there is to say "yes or no" as to whether they would rehire you and when you worked there. If they say anything else, it had better be positive because technically, no employer can trash the former employee.... And I've been there on both ends.... Later! {=} ~~"I can scream as loud as your last one, but I can't claim innocence."~~
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6/26/2008 7:14 pm |
Honey..I am shocked and saddened at this turn of events.. Great big hug my dear sweet friend and this could be the beginning of better
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Been there, done that. After it sinks in, think of the job hunt as an adventure. (damn cohesive post, esp under the circumstances) Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]
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PS: the tribute to Cozy Red aspect of this post is stunning. Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]
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_____As I was reading how Ruby improved your digs, I was thinking how something like that might make me feel uncomfortable. In case My Bonnie Girl reads this...don't go off the deep end. I know my house is a pigsty. It's been a pigsty for years, but it has been my pigsty. Women have this uncanny way of improving our lives, whether we want it or not. Your place is better Atomic. My place will be getting better while I'm on the road. I will appreciate it. I just may not show it. It will just take some getting used to. I trust you will land head up Atomic. You stike me as a man who always does. I'm thinking maybe you will soon, not be one of "those guys". Any chance I'm correct?
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6/30/2008 6:25 pm |
Oh hullo youse. Sorry to hear about the firing -- I have lots of first hand knowledge lately but mostly cos I quit going in to work. I've always been considered a great worker, all the accolades, etc. In the end, well, in the end. Who knew that when I was being non-technically evicted (asked to leave) my apartment in mid-March that I would end up being a homeowner? Well, I own a baby cottage and some gardening land in Eastern Washington but it really seems to suit me. And Seattle is just a train ride away. Whenever anyone says to me "when one door closes...", "things happen for a reason...", etc., I get annoyed. It's kind of hard to appreciate when you're the recipient not the giver of these words. As much as my jaded ass wants to disagree, though, it seems to be true. If you think about it, Atomic, weren't you pretty much done with that job already? Some jobs get too comfortable and don't challenge us enough. I reckon this was the case with you. And Seattle is reportedly rife with opportunity at the mo. Go get 'em, tiger, and the rest of that shit! You'll land on your feet and'll be back to brag on it. Trust me. P.S. I've found that the blog has helped keep me sort of grounded and so forth when I might otherwise be at loose ends. I hope you don't stray too far. P.P.S. Red Rover, Red Rover, send RubyRed right over. I needs help like that! That girl loves you like a motherfucker.
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Aw hell! You know? If you spent all your time planning for the unknown and unexpected, you'd have no time to enjoy what you have. Sounds like you've got a lot to enjoy. Like G2 said, "go gettem, Tiger"! btw- nicely done on the Voodoo Caddy, Cat Daddy. Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde
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Being fired sucks. I'm truly sorry for such a nasty surprise! Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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I'm so sorry to hear this. But keep in mind, if a new employer does call them and ask why you left, it's against the law to say you were let go. They can only tell unemployment that. But prospective employers, if they say anything other than downsizing, or something of that sort, such as your job was eliminated in the budget, they can be sued by you. Which is why it's now against the law to say you fired someone.
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I have indeed much enjoyed your writing style. I hope you transition smoothly, and post again one day soon. blog on!
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Well, isn't that just a fine cup of tea... One thought to consider is I wouldn't necessarily assume they told you the whole truth as to why they let you go. The question was asked and they had to answer...but they may not have told you truly what the motivation was. Having said that, and not knowing what you do, I hope you can see this as an opportunity, and here is my most sincere wish that your next place to earn a living is better and more rewarding than you hope for.
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Thank you all so very much for your comments. While I'm answering you en mass, I can assure you that each and every comment was read and cherished. I'm putting the finishing touches on a "come back" post...actually at least a couple of them that talks about what has been going on in the aftermath of all this. I can't give away exact details of my situation. I can't give names or where I worked so forgive me if I seem a bit cryptic in some places, but saying too much could jeopardize the good situation I've got stewing here. Lets just say I'm picking up the house of cards the house of cards that has toppled and coming up all aces. I'm not employed, nor do I want my old job back, but I've got a good thing going nonetheless...it could be huge, even. For those who have kept in touch with your texts, emails, and phone calls, I thank you, it meant a great deal even if I didn't call you first. I'm just that way. Sometimes I need a little prodding. But...um...let me end this comment so I can get my new posts up and running. You deserve to know what I've been up to.
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