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Blogs > BassicInstinct74 > Back to Bassics

Things Women Should Know About Men...  

BassicInstinct74 50M
3 posts
10/15/2007 12:13 pm
Things Women Should Know About Men...

Here are some things all women should know about men....

1. Express yourself.
2. Bare/tan shoulders are underrated.
3. If you're truly interested in us, please don't play hard to get.
4. Don't be afraid to ditch makeup. Natural is SEXIER.
5. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, "Do you think she's pretty?"
6. We crave hugs and hand-fiddling, no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex.
7. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you are late.
8. We lie to make you feel good, don't be angry about it, you weren't looking for the truth anyway.
9. Stop putting streaks or screwing up your hair. And no old-lady hairstyle, PLEASE.
10. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy. We're suckers that way.
11. Men are NOT mind readers.
12. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
13. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
14. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
15. Crying is blackmail.
16. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
17. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
18. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
19. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
20. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
21. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
22. If you think you're fat, you probably are (which is perfectly fine). Don't ask us.
23. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE!
24. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
25. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
26. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
27. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
28. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
29. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
30. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
31. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.
32. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
33. You have enough clothes.
34. You have too many shoes

And just to be fair to the ladies....

Things ALL men should know about women:

1. Saying "I love you" before, during, or after sex doesn't count.
2. When we ask you how we look, "fine" is not an appropriate answer.
3. We obsess over whether you'll call from the moment we give you our number.
4. No matter how cool we seem about it, if you did something bad, we're mad at you.
5. Don't patronize us by asking if our bad mood is because of PMS.
6. Don't ever tell us what to do, even when we ask you to.
7. We're unimpressed by men who don't<b> take the lead. </font></b>Be a man!
8. We love it when you hold our hand.
9. We need to hear how you feel about us. Tell us right now. And again in ten minutes.
10. We want to be the best thing that ever happened to you -- and for you to know it.
11. If we don't feel loved, we'll start looking elsewhere.
12. Don't talk about your ex. Ever.
13. We remember everything about our relationships. Yes, everything.
14. We let you fix things.
15. You're sexiest when you're sweating, driving, shaving, or holding a baby.
16. We've faked it.
17. Groping and foreplay are not the same thing.
18. While we're on the subject: more foreplay.
19. If we're not intimate with you it's because: we feel fat; we don't feel very close to you, or we are punishing you for not doing something our way.
20. We're afraid to meet your mother.
21. Sometimes, we want a back rub to be just a back rub.
22. Vacuuming the house will get you laid faster than flowers.
23. Macho posturing is okay during the courting stage, but ultimately, it gets tiresome.
24. When we're emotional and irrational, don't tell us not to be emotional and irrational. Unless you like broken glass.
25. "Have some chocolate, sweetheart," works in most emotional situations.
26. We are always going to be unhappy about some aspect of our bodies, but you NEVER should be.
27. "You are beautiful," should be a daily saying.
28. Money spent on hair color, hair removal, make-up or beauty products should NEVER be questioned.
29. We can translate "man" better than you think we can. For example, we know "You didn't tell me your sister/college roommate/new friend was so pretty" translates as "Is she available?"
30. Don't buy us roses because you think that's what we "expect".
31. Sometimes when we say "Nothing's wrong" we're telling the truth.
32. When we blow you off at the end of the evening, it doesn't mean that we're not interested in blowing you.
33. We love having male friends, but that doesn't mean you'll ever have a chance with us.
34. You do not need to lie to a woman to get her to like you.
Cool Runnings, people!


sassybrunette88 54F

11/22/2007 2:59 am

 Hey.......just wanted to let you know that my friends and I read this at work and we laughed our asses off!


SassifiedBBW 60F
102 posts
7/24/2008 10:23 pm

 I think it's a pretty awesome person that posted them too


kaleidescoping 70F

5/30/2010 11:11 am

 SO TRUE........ SO TRUE!
got my coffee... got my cigarettes... got my computer and took my prozac... It's gonna be a great day!


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