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| Blogs > Jierks_Jently > Jierks Jently - Sex Agent |
Meeting Ophelia
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Meeting Ophelia The day I met Ophelia I was just getting stuck into a nice Danish tart when the red light on my secret phone began to blink out an intermittent pattern. The emergency signal. Extreme celibatists had released an anti sex pheromone at a night club in central London. Local intelligence was that the atmosphere was cool and chilling rapidly. Tens if not hundreds of mindless sex acts were at stake if we didn’t act fast. I was to meet top Russian sex agent Joanna Kopov at the scene and take steps to re ignite the public’s passions. We might even have to put on a show. Showering in a mixture of hot water and a well known proprietary brand of hormone-based aftershave I dressed quickly in smart but casual supermarket own brand clothing and hailed a taxi. At the club the situation was chaotic. Agent Kopov was already there and had implemented the first steps of the accepted protocols: “Je t’aime” by Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg was blaring out of the sound system, and I could smell the faint hint of Arousasol in the air but it was having no effect. Despite Jane’s best fake orgasm and whispered words of French affection the mood in the club was frosty. The Arousasol would take time to counteract the effect of the anti-passion pheromone, but in the meantime we had what looked like a mass “lost moment” on our hands. Men regarded scantily clad women in low cut tops and short skirts as if they were books on a sideboard. Women who, until thirty minutes earlier would have shagged anything that moved and might even have gone home with someone who couldn’t, were looking into their partners come-to-bed eyes as if they didn’t even know what sex was, let alone want any in the next ten days. It was time to act. Joanna Kopov is the fourth sexiest woman on the planet. (Ophelia is the second sexiest, and the third sexiest is some woman called Sarah that nobody has ever heard of, but I digress; the international sex rankings are not important just at the moment.) Pheromones drip from her every pore and the look in her eyes usually makes men ejaculate on the spot. She strode to the stage and bared herself to the waist. Her magnificent breasts swayed slightly as all three of her nipples began to throb visibly in time to the music. At last some of the men started to pay attention. I was about to go into my routine for the women when in front of me appeared a vision. Dressed like Kylie Minogue in the “can’t get you out of my head” video, golden blond hair, slim, rounded and gorgeous, a woman of stunning beauty was looking directly into my eyes. She reminded me of a line from Shakespeare, “ her eyes had lighted fires in my heart to melt the snows of all Antarctica,” or something like that. I knew from the moment I saw her that she was the one thing, ( apart from possible a really well made apple turnover, ) which could distract me from the job at hand. “You are going to be my man,” she announced and pressed a business card into my hand. Then she was gone. I stood there staring as she walked calmly out of the club before a shout from the stage brought me back to reality: “Oi Jierks!” It was Agent Kopov. She was standing in front of a crowd of salivating men, their heads circling to the gyration of her hypnotic pelvis as she danced to Donna Summers’ “Love to love you baby.” “Get back on the job, Jently,” she shouted, and at that moment I saw that the crowd had separated into the sexes, the women shuffling aimlessly at the back while the men stared, fixated by Joanna’s third nipple. I quickly moved behind them, brushing my fingers softly against that special place to the side of each neck as I worked my way across the crowd. Each of them turned slightly as a shiver ran through their spines, then smiled and walked forwards to find their men, eager to release the tension that Joanna was building up in their cocks. Everything was going to be alright. Except for me. For me things were never going to be easy again. I looked at the card in my hand. One side was blank, but on the other was just a number and a name I would never forget; Ophelia Cox. |
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10/26/2007 5:18 am |
all three of her nipples ..... I feel a Jerry Seinfeld moment comming on!!!!
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all three of her nipples ..... I feel a Jerry Seinfeld moment comming on!!!!
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Quite right. I consider myself admonished.
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11/4/2007 4:51 am |
Ophelia Cox intrigues me...I think I know her 2 cousins very well..Ophelia Hiney and Ophelia Balls. Small world!
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