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| Blogs > hornyguyMN > Inside my head |
BDSM, Polyamory and swinging
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BDSM, Polyamory and swinging This image was borrowed from LadyUnlaced [image] While I was in the hot tub the other day one of the things that crossed my mind was the local "relations" I've noticed between the bdsm,<b> polyamory </font></b>and swinging communities. Now I can't speak for what they are like in other places. So those of you not from Minnesota this might not be the case. I am not a swinger, I have never identified as one, however I have friends that are or have been. I have never really gotten the chance to try out<b> polyamory </font></b>fully. I have to get one solid relationship to sustain and work before I can even think about more then that. In the bdsm community I identify as a Top/Dominant. I have no issues with any of the mentioned lifestyles and respect both the lifestyle and a persons right to choose which if any of them they want to participate in. To get the easy ones out of the way first. I have noticed that there is a lot of overlap with the poly crowd in the bdsm community. Based on what friends from other parts of the country have said to me it seems to be the same with the swing community. Although I don't know if that stands up locally. Since I haven't talked to any local swingers about it. I have no idea what people in the local swing community think of the bdsm community. However what surprises me is the dislike I see in members of the bdsm community when swinging comes up or is alluded to. I'm honestly curious about why that is. This might just be the small sample of people that I have talked to or over heard. If this is the case then by all means correct me. As I said I'm just curious. It seems to me that the two communities should be able to get along and intermingle. Has anyone else noticed this? Or is it just me? What have you noticed about the intermingling of these groups? |
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Well, HG, as you might imagine, I'm not shy about asking about different lifestyles, and I have done so. The answers I have gotten all relate back to the same two points. Many times, the bdsm lifestyle separates bdsm play from sex. In other words, someone can top or bottom for someone without any sexual interaction - and if you do that, you wouldn't be considered either poly or a swinger. Many other times, bdsm play is an integral part of sexual interaction, and for many of those people, the sexual interaction relates to an emotional bond (related to the trust factor) - more closely identified with a poly lifestyle, rather than swinging. Then, there are the ones who can play bdsm and have sexual interaction without any emotional attachment, and that would be the swinger circle. I have friends in the bdsm scene who consider themselves poly, and those that consider themselves "swinky" (swinger + kinky), but I have noticed that those two circles do not intermingle for the most part. Because poly is all about emotions, and swinging isn't. I think. To be honest, I just am friendly with everyone, without playing or having sex with any of them. LOL I'm pretty sure that just makes me a born again virgin. Or a prude.  2022... it HAS be better, right?!
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8/1/2012 4:29 pm |
I'm vanilla! 
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I think swingers always get a bad and the whole term swinging is negatively charged. I think this is because swingers are perceived as being indiscriminate and more shallow than BDSM ers or poly people. Just a theory through, I don't have any hard evidence to back that up. ***
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