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Fisting
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Fisting Mistress Ariachne's BDSM Workshop: Sensual Fisting by mistress ariachne Published 2002-02-22 It’s too bad fisting is called, well, fisting. The word conjures up rough sex, featured a balled fist jammed up a cunt or asshole fighter-style. In reality, fisting is (usually) a very slow, sensual process. Instead of feelings of violence, the fistee often experiences sensations that hover between the extremely erotic and the almost spiritual. Fisting joins the two partners in a way above and beyond ordinary penetration - the fister enters and fills the fistee in an amazing capacity, one that requires a bond of trust and a good deal of patient mindfulness. Think of fisting as the ultimate slow build-up and you’ll be on the right path. This article will help you understand this sensual side to fisting so you too can learn to give your partner this incredible sensation. Vaginal vs. anal fisting Most of the techniques I will discuss below are relevant to both anal and vaginal fisting. Both types should be approached slowly and sensually. Vaginal fisting is often considered the easier of the two, since you are not fighting with the anal sphincter. Anal fisting is probably practiced more widely, but that’s just a guess on my part. Anal fisting has additional safety precautions, since tearing or injuring the rectum can result in some serious problems (not that you should run roughshod over the vaginal walls either). Safety first Porn movies be damned, women with two-inch-long acrylic nails don’t usually slide them easily in and out of a cunt or asshole. Cut your nails! In fact, cut, file, and carefully check your nails for rough spots. Your partner will greatly appreciate your diligence. I highly, highly recommend wearing a latex glove (or even two) for fisting, both vaginal and anal. I think it’s a must for anal fisting, to minimize the danger of infection inside the rectum from any bacteria on your hand, as well as to keep your hand clean. Fluid-bonded partners may choose to perform vaginal fisting without a glove, but in my experience, the glove helps your hand slide better and reduces the danger of a fingernail tearing the vaginal wall. Fisting with a latex glove can be considered safe sex, since no body fluids are exchanged. However, if you are fisting anally, be very careful to keep your fisting hand out of the vagina afterwards (take off the latex glove and use a new one) to avoid spreading bacteria from the anus to the vagina. Setting the mood Enough with the clinical safety tips; let’s get in the mood! Because successful fisting depends quite a bit on the fistee being able to relax, you should try to make the surroundings as comfortable and erotic as possible. I don’t recommend being in public for the first time fisting; the pressure and/or embarrassment can be too much. Instead, try your favorite place to make love. Put on special sheets, light candles, play some nice music, or whatever else signals "romance" to your lover. Plan ahead - make sure you have plenty of time with no interruptions. I recommend discussing the fisting plans with your lover beforehand - with no pressure. Erotic advances Once you and your partner are settled into your special space, begin the slow erotic buildup. From the beginning, you should be thinking "slow and sensual," as opposed to "passionate and quick." The goal is to bring your partner to dizzying heights of arousal - but by diligent, sensual erotic touch as opposed to seizing and ravishing him or her (there will plenty of time for that afterwards!). Start with light, gentle kisses and touches. Lots of stroking and all-over body contact can help your partner relax into your embrace. Don’t just start attacking the vagina or anus; let your touches show that you care about your partner as a whole person. Gradually work your way to the chosen orifice, letting your touches build. Work for a while on the outside of the anus or vagina, massaging, stroking, licking - whatever works best for your partner. You’re giving them a chance to feel the erotic potential of the area without the pressure of penetration. Going in Once your partner has been built up to a high point of arousal, you can reach for the lube. Throughout your fisting experience, you will need lube, lube, and more lube. I cannot emphasize this point enough! Some folk’s think that if a woman is aroused enough, her vagina will be wet enough to insert anything. Sorry, it ain’t so. Natural juices are no match for synthetic lube when it comes to playing with large, inserted objects. Use lots of lube throughout fisting; when in doubt, use more. Start by sliding one finger inside (sources vary as to the best finger; I usually use the index). At this point, make sure to continue your massaging of the outer area. Wait a while before inserting another finger - you want to get your partner comfortable with penetration before you stick everything in. Once you’re sure your partner is enjoying the penetration, you can add one finger at a time. If possible, make your partner beg for the next finger. It can also be a good idea to have the partner reach up with his or her pelvis or ass and to push onto your finger - this way they can control the rate of insertion. Here’s where the biggest myth about fisting comes into play. You *do not* just ball up your fist and push it in. Instead, you will carefully, slowly, push in your hand bit by bit while it is shaped something like a duck, with your fingers gathered and pointed forward. Try to continue giving your partner other erotic stimulation as you do so. And be very patient - this insertion is a matter of fractions of an inch at a time, then stopping for a while, and then continuing. If you meet heavy resistance from the orifice, don’t just push through; stop and wait a bit for your partner to relax. Check in with your partner often to see how she or he is doing. If you’ve done your erotic buildup correctly, he or she should still be highly aroused and enjoying what you are doing. If things go well, eventually you will have your hand in up to the knuckles. This is the hard part. Go very slowly at this point, carefully finding the best angle to go in and waiting for your partner to fully relax. Some people twist a bit at this point, while others prefer to go straight in. Let your partner guide your actions here. If you can’t go any further no matter what, then there’s no shame in stopping. You can always try again another night. Once you have moved past the knuckles, you can gently and slowly insert the rest of the hand. This is the point where you may choose to ball up your fingers. Again, keep an open line of communication with your partner to find out what feels good to him or her. Many people simply enjoy the sensation of being filled; others like actual in-and-out motion. Don’t move your hand too fast, however, so as not to tear the vaginal or rectal wall. This goes for removing your hand as well. Once the fisting is over, you and your partner may feel like doing more erotic play, or that may be it for the night. Respect your partner’s wishes, and pamper him or her as much as possible, showing your love and caring. Mutual baths, massage and cuddling are always a great finale. WOW - just the thought has me wet - as always i remain "me" for You  "WE RISE BY KNEELING. WE CONQUER BY SURRENDERING. WE GAIN BY GIVING UP." |
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