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vibrators at the car wash and crows
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vibrators at the car wash and crows She messed up, as all wonderful teenagers do. She said it. "Chill the<b> fuck </font></b>out". Blurted it out loudly, versus mumbling it under her breath *sigh* No date night for her Sat night. But the boyfriend bought tickets she tells me! She knows where the lines are drawn, and she crossed one. He's not home to ref this. Consequences are as important now as they were when she was 5. I calmly leave. Head to Whole Foods for a stroll-- Rather not hear her blood-curdling screams. She looks like a , but acts like a . She "hates" me, that echoes through the garage as I roll up my window and put the car in "r". Now I swear to you, despite my PMS, none of my piddly behaviors provoked her--. She was annoyed with the boyfriend, not me. She's got her own space in our house, actually 2 rooms. I try and avoid her room downstairs. Roughly once a week I break down and pilfer---usually Thursday since the housekeeper's here on Friday. When she was younger I'd sing the Barney "clean up" song while trespassing across her space. Now I make birdlike cawing sounds and pretend I'm a vulture (or maybe a crow). During video chats I've been caught a time or two. She non-chalantly says "oh that's my mother, the bird, cleaning my room" I laugh, reminding her I'm just "helping a little". Yum! A half eaten power bar, nearly empty bags of microwave popcorn, sticky tootsie pop sticks glued to her nightstand, wrappers, melted smoothies growing lichen *wow*, money... and then there's the thousand dollars worth of jeans on the floor...yet, this is a who will empty her pockets for a homeless man. What will she grow up to be? What will she do with her life? I want to be around to find out, and I love the mess in her sometimes. It's interesting how some people never vacillate. They choose one thing and do one thing well. "I am a doctor" "I am a welder" "I am a stripper" "I am a salesman" "I am a homemaker" "I am a musician". What would it be like for me to have just one or two things. I know where my strengths lie, but that hardly stops me---my far-fetched ambitions haunt me. Routinely I'm up at 4 am, wondering 'what now'. Will my be just like me? Or will one thing be enough for her? It's fascinating to see her morph into an adult, despite the enormous meltdowns. K, enough of scene... Sex site. This is a sex site. Bring a little sexy back...a man to make me slutty. Yeah, I wonder... Geesh, I stayed home and caught up on sleep this weekend. Watched football Sunday, in order that I can actually name five Rams players. Tomorrow I'll be with a group of retired athletes, we've been meeting on Mondays for the past few weeks. I'm the only female in the room, yet they chatter non-stop about the Rams, blatantly, yet respectfully, assuming I'm clueless--- Early Monday: Before yesterday, I was clueless. I couldn't even name three guys on the team. I've absorbed enough in one game to make an intelligent comment about our injured line up---I even know the score. There is a silent code of conduct among these men I'm with. They epitomize everything a professional athlete use to stand for---before performance enhancing drugs and hormones. I'll dazzle them with all my might, but it doesn't really matter what I say or what it costs. They just want to huddle like a team and watch someone win. They truly give back ... anonymously. Not many people will anymore---not without expecting something in return, or their name in lights. My conversation with my husband: I broke my Vibrator. Okay, get another one. Ya know, I think they all break. The cheap ones and the pricier models. At least I was nearly done before the wire disconnected in-hand. Now I have to remove the backup unit from under my front seat. I broke my expensive one. He stares at me. Use the pink one. I can't use the pink one. Why? It's not for daily use. It isn't? no. Get a new one. It was the expensive one with the speeds and the pulse settings. You took apart the dryer, fix it. No, I can't fix it. Why? My hands are too big. I fixed the last one, but it was a simpler design. Just try. No, I'm just going to use the one in my car. He seems amused I have it there. SO, I'm at Waterway getting my car washed. Ah, I remember the vibrator under the seat. I reach for it thinking to myself...Self, good thing you remembered it was there. When the guys vacuum up something random, like a happy meal toy or a LAX ball, they usually just lay it on the seat. Wow, that sure would be embarrassing...if the guy flagged me and my vibrator was waiting. K, so my handbag is stuffed with stuff. I'm juggling my laptop case and my iced coffee. The plan is, I'll unzip the laptop bag and sneak in the vibrator---sight unseen. Mind you, this is just a vibrating egg, nothing overly cumbersome. WELL, as I'm processing all this I turn and see this guy I've met before. He brings his 225 pound great dane with him, Henry. I'm so thrilled to see the again, I forget what I'm doing. I meant to stuff the vibrator in my laptop case, but instead I held onto it. We start talking...I'm oo'ing over the dog. I'm not sure the owner has spotted the device yet. Well, I get to the cashier and start to fumble for my credit card, noticing what's still in my hand. Oh jesus. If he registered I was standing there with my hand clasped around a sex toy, he didn't let it on. The cashier on the other hand, gave me the sexual predator stare. ah well...only me...she'll get over it. wanderingkiss In All My Galore... |
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Maybe I should start a side business - repairing vibrators. I fixed the wife's years ago and its still going strong. Taking them for a test run to make sure they are fixed would be payment enough.... As always polite comment, rants and musings are appreciated....all others take a hike RD
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Maybe I should start a side business - repairing vibrators. I fixed the wife's years ago and its still going strong. Taking them for a test run to make sure they are fixed would be payment enough....  wanderingkiss In All My Galore...
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9/29/2009 6:20 am |
Oh MY! LOL!
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9/29/2009 6:48 am |
ahhhh... teenagers. As you are well aware of, the sarcastic, witty and sometimes slightly vulgar feedback is a required attribute within the definition of growth and independence. And, as my brother constantly reminds me, if the only gripe you have is the sloppiness of their living space (i.e. - bedroom), you DO have a wonderful child and really are well ahead of the game. As for vacillating, I do not know a single involved loving parent that only does 'one or two' things - LOL. I hope the five Rams names you memorized stay with the team - ha - this way you won't need to learn five more. The car wash story was amusing...
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ahhhh... teenagers. As you are well aware of, the sarcastic, witty and sometimes slightly vulgar feedback is a required attribute within the definition of growth and independence. And, as my brother constantly reminds me, if the only gripe you have is the sloppiness of their living space (i.e. - bedroom), you DO have a wonderful child and really are well ahead of the game. As for vacillating, I do not know a single involved loving parent that only does 'one or two' things - LOL. I hope the five Rams names you memorized stay with the team - ha - this way you won't need to learn five more. The car wash story was amusing... Thanks for stopping by  wanderingkiss In All My Galore...
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