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40+++++++++there's a new team at customers' complaints
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40+++++++++there's a new team at customers' complaints 40+++++++++there's a new team at customers' complaints how miss "britty" perkins is at the centre of decisions taken by Arsenic, Fantasy and Fornication "thatch great, Pretty Perkin, you've got the job of finding me replachement workersh for replayshing the shtaff that have been shent to the mental home to recover, or azh i like to call it "the nuthoushe for idiotsh and looniesh......ha ha ha" so, slobbered el presidente muy exchellente, el importante bloguistadoro, as he drifted upwards and homewards on a puff of cloud entirely composed of his own vanity, towrds his eerie eyrie of sweet rose petal fabrication at the top of his persnal skyscraper, guarded by guards with super-sensitive nostrils to keep away the great unwashed................ . mr "britty/pretty" perkins got his job at the great entreprise Almagmated Fantasizing Fornicators just a few weeks previously, but he's making a name for himself among the high ups (well hung??); he tolerates the casual insults of being adressed "miss" and "pretty"...... "one of my first actions has been really successful", he mused to himself, " it was i who first suggested it, what a clever pretty man i am, but then he blushed as he thought back to his first day at work here; he'd assumed that the company was called American Fun for Families; his shame was total when he saw the reaction to his innocent question, "why are there so many pictures of lnaked ladies and men showing their willies?" the guffawing could be heard from mexico to oregon, "this is a sex site, dickhead! with a great sigh of regret at how much of his life he'd wasted, never having bought a pornographic magazine or yet kissed a girl (or for that matter a boy)....... he settled at his desk to concentrate..on the new task he'd been assigned now........ since it would cost much more to fire those empoyees who were recovering in mental hospital, and end up in court cases costing the company millions of dollars for having caused those empoyees to go mad........ .......than to take on a new set of lower paid workers to deal with customer complaints..... .................then........... that's what we'll do!!! he could relax; he knew exactly where he would find the ideal new team.... yes he could relax, so he took a binder in bright fluoerscent pink waterproof material and made his daily viewing of the censored photos that thanks to his suggestion were now being saved and put in binders specially made to order to withstand the most brutal, bestial handling....... up till now, this had been his first and most effective operational change......previously Cedric the Caliban had simply burnt them in the furnace in the shed at the back of the skyscraper, but now all the empoyees of Awe Fear and Fright could review the ones that got away (rather the ones that didn't get thru...!) and so the afternoon waned and"britty" slid lower and lower in his slithery<b> vinyl </font></b>arm-chair "i must be getting home as i have to be up early to interview and choose my new team..... 5 am the following morning he gets up, takes such special care of his army memorium socks so as not to puncturre them on his long toe-nails, that there's no time for breakfast. at 5,35a.m. he's in front of a queue of workmen, who are looking for work on a new building near to passion mashin tower; he could have waited till normal office hours, but being as keen as a piece of rotten cheese, only the best would do........... "ok, everybody", he shouts to the men, "who wants to work with their brain, rather than their hands" not much response from the now mildly interested asembled company "good", he continues, "we don't want revolution; ok who among you speaks english?" nobody seems to; he hears nyet nie no "so this just gets better and better" , he mutters to himself "ok you, you, you and you, you and you....you're all hired" britty had chosen a bulgarian 2 poles a russian a ukrainien and a serb as the new customer complaints team "you start today, and remember, the most important thing about this job is"........ you gotta turn up to get paid; see you all later this morning at 11 o clock" he thought he heard one of the poles say "dobra, moze robisch dwa jobs"........... "mr britty perkins, you're a genius" his green teeth appear in his mouthspace reflecting the rising sun in a brackish brown suffusion as he drives out east into the desrt grinning to himself, looking forward to his breakfast of panfried homegrown algue and wild pacific ocean salsify...... "that'll teach those bloody complaining customers to keep their bollocking mouths shut, when they get incomprehensible replies in pidgin english from my new team at Site Support!........... "gosh " , he relizes, "it's 10H30 a.m.......well i'd better get in a little early to show grzegorz and friends where the coffee is...  |
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