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Sunday's thoughts
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Sunday's thoughts Alright it's Sunday and Mother's Day and the sun is actually shining today which is a nice change from all the rain we have been getting... I've been having a lot of thoughts on my mind these last few weeks and even though I am still trying to spread a few smiles, truth be told I am not smiling over here and it truly sucks... A little while back I made a huge mistake and knowing that I made someone else unhappy cause of my mistake is actually kicking the shit out of me... Yaya us Northern<b> chicks </font></b>are supposed to be fucking tough but I'm not at all and it really is harder then I would have guessed... See I am goal oriented, so focussed on how to practice being a strong, independent woman that I forget the more important things in life, friends... And truth be told besides work, I really stay away from everybody else cause this way I can avoid disappointment or humiliation.... But at the end of the day, the only disappointment I endure is in myself but I am working on it, learning that these walls I have constructed are harder on others then myself... A few weeks back I received some not so good news on my condition and I sit here and think "how the fuck am I going to tackle this?" Who can I depend on? Who can I ask for support from? No one really cause I have held everyone I know and respect at arms length, who would even want to bother and I don't want to bother them with my problems either... When I left my husband a few years back I was determined to make it on my own, rid of his bad choices and now can focus on my good ones, I can do this right?? Yes I have a very successful career, worked hard at accomplishing that but lacking in the confidence aspect, with anyone who is in my life or anyone who tries to be in life... So these are my thoughts today and please don't think this of this blog as I am feeling sorry for myself cause I am not, just sometimes its easier to type them out and read it over and hopefully adjust myself for the better... I am grateful for your advice and good thoughts, I do pay attention and appreciate your good words.... Happy Mother's Day to all you beautiful Mothers out there and for all you attached men, please remind her how special she truly is xx If it was good, its great but if it was bad then you call that experience E-4-N |
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Yeah, sometimes writing out what you are feeling helps clarify them and even give you an incite into needed changes. Sounds to me that you may have concentrated so hard on making yourself independent you kind of overlooked other ways of being strong. Dynamic balance is one of the toughest things to achieve in life. Good luck in shifting your balance. If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin." I always behave. Preferably not well. 
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Yeah, sometimes writing out what you are feeling helps clarify them and even give you an incite into needed changes. Sounds to me that you may have concentrated so hard on making yourself independent you kind of overlooked other ways of being strong. Dynamic balance is one of the toughest things to achieve in life. Good luck in shifting your balance. I used to have balance but lately it really is a struggle to find it again but I will, just might take a bit of time... Thanks kindly xx If it was good, its great but if it was bad then you call that experience E-4-N
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Your stronger than you realize. I believe your going to come out on top no matter what the situation. I hope you believe this as well? All my best. I will find that happy medium again, just need to adjust my priorities.. Thanks hun xx If it was good, its great but if it was bad then you call that experience E-4-N
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