Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > Insindiary > Insindiary's Diary |
Repair
|
Repair There was some damage done to my friendship with Erin, due to miscommunication and assumptions. I told her that I hoped things weren't beyond repair, and we talked about what to do next. She had some suggestions in her last email to me: I don't think things are beyond repair, and I would rather we either keep trying to sleep together or decide that we're not going to sleep together for the forseeable future and just be friends. I think I'd prefer the former, but I would also want to go pretty slowly/proceed cautiously because I don't want you to feel large amounts of pressure and I don't want to feel insecure and frustrated. To be clear, I love vaginal sex. I mean love love, but I would prefer a situation that involved both my partner and I getting off, even if it means just<b> mutual masturbation </font></b>instead of vaginal sex where no one gets off. Literally, my biggest turn on is my partner's excitement. That, unfortunately, puts a certain kind of pressure on you that you might not be interested in. But like I said, I am not only open to other kinds of sex that will result in orgasms, but I prefer them to the alternative. I would watch you hump a cherry pie if it got you off whilst I sat in a corner doing naughty things to myself and be happier than us trying to fuck like porn stars to lukewarm results. I also would be fine with just making out/PG-13 stuff if it results in a pleasant experience for both of us. I'm ok with just dry humping in a car somewhere or what have you and then going our separate ways as long as you don't think "WELL NOW I HAVE TO FUCK HER HARD" and then we fumble around for a while and then end up frustrated in a less positive way. I also think that despite all of the stuff I said above, I need to be emotionally and mentally prepared for you to have a day where you're not going to orgasm. So that probably means that I will have to work harder to be aware of my mental state before we play, and to reschedule if I think I would struggle deeply with it. Do you see why I'm crazy about this woman? When she DOES communicate, she does it very well. I now understand better what she likes. I know that orgasms are a big deal for her. I know that she's in tune with her own desires and insecurities, and has some practical ideas in what to do with them. I answered her this way: In a situation where we can have sex or not have sex, I think I would like to err on the "have sex" side as well. But yes, slowly and with some caution. You're very good at describing what you want, and that makes a big difference. I think we can find a way to make both of us happy. In spite of what I told her, I'm not at all sure we'll have sex again. Sometimes it's better to realize that the sex just isn't working, and move on, with mutual respect. If we try again, it could have the result of just making things worse. In any case, we both have some time to think about it, and that's a good thing. Erin is going on vacation for a week or two starting tomorrow. I would have liked to have seen her in person before she left, but I'm kind of glad that she'll be gone. This gives us both time to think, and there's no pressure to see each other. So I'm still taking things as they come with Erin. However things end up, the thing I really, really want is to maintain my friendship with her. I can see that evaporating if things get even a little tense between us. It's not going to be easy either way, but I believe she is worth it. |
|||
|
I am impressed by her comments as well. Sometime it is better to just save the relationship and forgo the physical aspect. She does seem to have a level of maturity which is refreshing, altho I am not certain of her age, and can't recall now if you mentioned it in an earlier blog. Keep in mind, that sometimes sex doesn't always work like clockwork in the beginning. Sometimes it is a learning process of each others needs, wants and desires, what works and what doesn't. Perhaps all you need is some time. Practice makes perfect as they say! Sounds like fun to me. But, I agree, take it slow! I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN HAPPINESS!! (MY LIFE'S PHILOSOPHY)
| ||
|
I am impressed by her comments as well. Sometime it is better to just save the relationship and forgo the physical aspect. She does seem to have a level of maturity which is refreshing, altho I am not certain of her age, and can't recall now if you mentioned it in an earlier blog. Keep in mind, that sometimes sex doesn't always work like clockwork in the beginning. Sometimes it is a learning process of each others needs, wants and desires, what works and what doesn't. Perhaps all you need is some time. Practice makes perfect as they say! Sounds like fun to me. But, I agree, take it slow!
|
Become a member to create a blog
