Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > tazzerman2000 > Cosmic Debris Part Three! |
Cheating on your spouse or significant other....
|
Cheating on your spouse or significant other....  First off, I KNOW this is a touchy subject. My intention here is NOT to inflame but to simply discuss. First, some of my own thoughts on this subject. I don't like cheating. There I said it! I would much rather people 'operate' in a totally upfront manner and NOT cheat on their spouses or significant others. That being said, I try as hard as I can NOT to judge people who do cheat. I typically have NO idea what their lives and relationships are like and I have no business sticking my nose in there to begin with. I've always felt that the 'issue' is between the person cheating and their partner, I really don't have anything to do with it one way or the other. Some people will argue that I help to enable them by allowing them into my home/bed. My response to that is simple, again I have nothing to do with their relationship AND even if I said no, they'd STILL find other partners so I really don't feel like I'm enabling them. Over the past number of years I've been with both men and women who are in fact 'stepping out' on their partners BUT I have to say, from my own experience, men are typically more likely to be cheating then women. There, I said THAT  I really don't appreciate and/or like folks who cheat who aren't upfront with ME about it! Those who attempt to portray themselves as something else to ME instead of being upfront about what they're doing. I can ALWAYS tell. Shit, I can't tell you how many times I've ran across some guy who claimed to be single while he's either wearing a wedding ring or having removed it, still having the tell-tale mark on his finger. Come on, do you think I'm STUPID?? Do not even TRY and tell me you're single when the only times you can meet are during the day/weekdays either. I KNOW better.. LOL For whatever the reasons, the fact that a person is willing to cheat shows me that they have no problem lying in general and THAT makes me nervous for a LOT of reasons. As i said, I'm the LEAST judgemental person around and again, I typically have NO idea what's going on in their relationship. I also know that the 'reasons' are legion, some 'valid' others... well lets just say less than valid but the bottom line is simple, at this point in my life, I'd rather avoid any involvement period. That being said, I do in fact have some friends who I still see who are cheating. One of best, long term and dearest friends falls into this category. He's bisexual but his wife knows NOTHING about his alternative activities. I've met her and she's a lovely woman and they've been together for decades but I know if she ever found out, she'd be crushed! Why he chooses to do this is a bit beyond me but I suspect that his NEED for some 'manly interactions' outweighs his desire to remain<b> faithful </font></b>and/or he's just NOT getting what he needs/wants sexually from her so.... he comes here. Now in this case I will say that we have become good friends moreso than lovers. I like him regardless of any sexual activities. I don't like the fact that he's cheating on his wife and I've told him so and well to be honest, our sexual activities have dwindled to almost nothing these days which is fine by me especially after getting to know her a bit. I really don't want to be put into the position of having anything to do with HURTING her. Nope, not in the least! In a 'perfect world' it would be great if she knew about his activities and even better, if she was willing to join in... That would be awesome but it will never happen. I have other couples that I play with and thankfully, they all play together and THAT makes for a much better situation all around but even in those relationships, at least one couple specifically, I KNOW the guy is stepping out without her knowledge. I know this for a fact having spent sometime with him and another woman that his wife knows absolutely NOTHING about. I've never said anything to her and that hurst ME because I really do like her and have very deep feelings for her but it's NOT my place to 'blow the whistle' I KNOW this is a touchy subject and I'm trying to be non-judgemental here. I'd LOVE to hear YOUR thoughts on this issue but please, keep it civil OK? I know this topic can and does elicit strong feelings on all sides. Be nice So, what do YOU think?  -tm |
||||
|
Oh and the nipples on that girl are wonderful... sorry I just had to mention them.
| |||
|
When I was young and dumb (now just dumb lol) I cheated ALL the time. Gladly I have changed my ways and actually care about other people. Yes I am in an open relationship but at least we both know what is going on. I don't like who I used to be.
| |||
|
To take this a step farther Tazz, what is the difference between swinging and cheating? When I was involved with the community, I assumed that since sex outside of marriages/committed relationships was condoned there would be no need for sneaking around behind someone's back. How much information SHOULD a spouse or partner be able to expect? IMO in a perfect world there would be awareness and open discussion. I think often quantity sex is used to avoid facing some other issue. But I do wish that if someone has an interest in something different, that they could explore it without having to lie. they could say Yo, I really like anal and Tazz loves to give it to me so I'll be back later and we can cuddle. and then on top of that the other one would remember your birthday or have you over for dinner because they appreciate that you make their partner so happy. Tell me about it.
| |||
|
I think trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. If you aren't being honest with your partner, then why are you still with that partner? I was fully prepared for a life with only Mrs. P as my sexual partner, but then she surprised me by saying it was okay for me to have other partners. And while I certainly don't try to abuse that privilege, I am very honest and upfront about my situation. Mrs. P is always kept informed of my plans, and she prefers that I tell her what happened instead of reading it from my blog. My partners know that I am married, and they've all met Mrs. P as well. Some of my partners have been married, but I always made it a point to make sure that their partners was aware and approved of the situation. The last thing I want is a pissed-off lover coming after me if they get caught. [post 3097853] Come join the half-nekkid fun! Check out HNW Bloggers.  
| |||
|
Well said, you summed it up perfectly. I have similar thoughts on the subject and the one thing that concerns me is safety. When I was married I was cheated on. When I found out, there was a period of time I lived in fear as I waited for my STD test results. It seems to me that most married men I have come across don't consider the fact that they can possibly be passing something onto their partner. Even worse, they don't want to wear a condom, they think trusting that someone is clean is enough. Since I lived the experience, and thankfully was fine, I prefer to avoid married men, simply because they don't really consider the physical harm they can cause their spouse. If you are going to cheat because you have too, please, please, play safe. All those cheating, never expect to get caught, well an STD is a little hard to hide. And some are irreversible.
|
Become a member to create a blog
