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Blogs > peekabooicu2ucme > Musings and mayhem of my mind

How to fuck good  

peekabooicu2ucme 46F
3728 posts
8/29/2014 9:43 am
How to fuck good
I can not take credit for this unfortunately, but it did make me laugh enough that I needed to share it. This is from The Onion via Click Hole:

Okay, here’s how to fuck good:

Fuck loud: When the fucking is happening with you, it must be loud. While you are fucking your sexual lover, scream loud and smash many porcelain dolls. This will ensure that the fucking is never forgotten. In 100 years, you can say to your sexual lover, “Remember the fucking?” and your sexual lover will say to you, “Yes, it was loud when it happened.”

Fuck so good that you win an award: One of the top ways to fuck great is to fuck so good that you win a prize or trophy for how good it is. Then if someone asks if you fuck good, you can say, “Well, I won a prize for good fucking, so you tell me, idiot.”

Light a ring of sexual Fuck-Torches: Light a ring of sexual Fuck-Torches around your mattress to encircle your fuck-chamber with a sensual flame while you fuck like a master. Fuck-Torches are not expensive and they make you fuck good, so just buy so many of them. Then while you are fucking, your sexual lover might say, “I like your Fuck-Torches,” and you can say, “Thank you. They were not expensive.”

Sweat wine: What is the most sexual fuck-juice? That is correct—it is wine, the juice of love. Thus, if you want to fuck good, you must sweat wine out of your pores. You and your sexual lover can lick the wine off of you and it will be delicious and you will both become sexual and mad. You can sweat out good wine or garbage wine, who cares?

Be damp: What is damp? Damp is the most sexual wetness. This is why, when you fuck your sexual lover, you must be damp. Before you fuck, mist yourself in steam. This will make you not too wet and not too dry: Damp. Then when you and your sexual lover are inside of each other, you can enjoy the sexual dampness, and you can go insane with lust, no questions asked!

Come visit me too peekabooicu2ucme
citizen4722 66M  
74582 posts
8/29/2014 3:43 pm

 I confess, I've only just remembered to check my second page of my blog watcher list
Oh fuck! I've only just realised you've been posting again.


peekabooicu2ucme replies on 8/29/2014 6:55 pm:
No worries!

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