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| Blogs > bandjhot2 > More Pricks than Kicks.... |
Is It Hot or Am I...?
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Is It Hot or Am I...? I am in Santa Rosa. I have ditched work early to take a Bikram Yoga class. That's the one where they heat the room to over 100 degrees and an attractive<b> dominatrix </font></b>in a skimpy zebra striped yoga outfit shouts at you for an hour and a half to touch your forehead to your knee. The only difference between the class and Mistress K's Chamber of Pain is that no one is wearing a dildo or has an erection.... I enter the room a few minutes before class. It smells like ass. Now I'd be the first to admit that ass that smells like ass might be a good and tasty thing. A room, however, that smells like ass is hardly ever a good and tasty thing.... I am already sweating profusely and I am doing nothing but sitting on the towel and yoga mat I rented from the front desk. I am also wearing a pair of tiger striped yoga pants I bought from the front desk. I am sipping from a stainless steel water container that I bought from the front desk. It is filled with water that I bought from the front desk. Including the cost of the class I have spent $107 to be in a 100+ degree room that smells like ass. I kinda like it.... The teacher comes in. She turns on a humidifier so the room is now hot and sticky and smells like ass. I suddenly remember why I left New Jersey.... Ms Yogatrix is wearing the zebra striped yoga outfit which the casual reader probably overlooked in a previous paragraph. I wonder if she notices my predatory yoga pants. Perhaps she is impressed with my physique when I suck in my stomach. I stare at myself obliquely in a mirror. Other than a small handful of 11 or 12 guys, I have one of the best looking male bodies in the room.... The teacher has us do a breathing exercise for a few minutes. Then we stop. Then she makes us do the exercise again. I have been in the class for only 5 minutes and I'm already winded.... I am standing behind a young woman with tats on her arms, legs, back, etc. One of the tattoos across her back is really just a couple of sentences. I move up close behind her so I can read what is written. For some reason she picks up her mat and moves away.... I decide to lean back on my towel and mat. I prop myself up on my elbow while the rest of the class pulls on their heel and locks their knees and tries to touch their heads to their toes.... The teacher comes over to me and tells me to sit on my mat Japanese style. I have no idea what she's talking about, but looking at her unhappy unsmiling face I have a feeling it has nothing to do with doggie style. Not for me, anyway.... I manage to stay another half hour or so in class. Mostly I just sort of stand around and look at the sweating half naked women.... After about 45 minutes I decide to throw in the towel. I leave the room dragging my mat across the legs of a woman who is lying down on her mat in something called Savasana-- Dead Body Pose.... I take my time showering and dressing. $107 is a pretty healthy hunk of change. "A healthy hunk of change...," I murmur to the mirror. I promise myself that tomorrow I'll stay at least 5 minutes longer.... |
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