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Blogs > senecaguy2 > Sex - Hot - Cold - Fun - Funny

Things that are unreal with porn  

senecaguy2 63M
536 posts
9/8/2012 3:49 pm

Last Read:
9/11/2012 8:21 am
Things that are unreal with porn

So my wife was out of town yesterday. I was supposed to go to dinner and have a playtime with one of my sugarbabes. But she had a special call in for work and could not make it. So I decided to stay home, do a little work, play some online chess, watch Bill Maher, and then I was going to go to bed, but wasn't very sleepy, so started watching a porn movie. It has been years. Because I find porn sex is not that realistic. Here are some of my observations that lead me to that conclusion. Tell me what you think:

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
7. Women always orgasm when men do.
8. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket.
9. All women are noisy cummers.
10. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
11. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
12. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
13. Double penetration makes women smile.
14. Asian men don't exist.
15. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
16. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
17. Nurses suck patients cocks.
18. Men always pull out.
19. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
20. Women never have headaches... or periods.
21. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
22. A man ejaculating on a woman’s butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
23. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
24. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
22. Guys never have short cocks.

I am sure you can add even more. Tell me..

gottaring 52F
15850 posts
9/8/2012 8:24 pm

 Women in porn movies seem to be made of a Gumby-like material which allows them to fling one leg over their partners shoulder while standing straight up on the other leg.

They also don't mind smearing whipped cream all over themselves, because they aren't the ones who have to disinfect the kitchen, stairs, sheets and floors afterward.

Lastly, unlike women in real life, porn stars have no issue referring to their partner as 'Daddy'.
When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load...


kiki7169 54F
458 posts
9/10/2012 11:57 am

 Out of control screaming and moaning moments...they "seem" to be enjoying themselves quite a bit, but it always looks pretty dry down south. If I moaned and screamed that much you'd be sure the flood gates would be open!


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