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Monday Morning Advice
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Monday Morning Advice So here we are again. Your Uncle spider has cranked up the all knowing advice giving machine and he is ready. He is psyched and he will try his best to help you will all problems as much as he can. Remember that you get to provide the questions and i get to provide the answers so fire you questions in later and i will post them for next week. without further ado, the questions Todays first question comes from the advice lines old friend who may be moving on so Phaedrus 61616 here is your question After<b> performing oral </font></b>on my partner and my face looks like a glazed doughnut, should I wipe my face off before kissing her? There are a couple of ways to handle this potential faux pas. The easiest being is the drag. By this i mean you literally drag your face up over her body on the way to her kissing hole. This should rub off a fair amount of your glazing. Another method is burying your face in the sheets for a moment or two. This leaves a shroud of turin like mark and again leaves you a little glaze free. I would suggest finally however that you just move on up place a hand on both sides of her head and kiss her long and deep. I mean if she is going to be weirded out by a sticky kiss then you have to reconsider just what kinds of fun you two are going to have. This next question comes from the siren of the midwest and my gottaring it follows as such Are there any foods that are rumored or proven to positively enhance the taste of female ejaculate? Likewise for men- what should THAT GUY eat before I swallow? We already had a little fun with this last week but i think we should revisit it. The foods that i would stay away from are the known poisonous compounds. As much as menteluminosa thinks about peacocks and poison i have yet to find a poison that is suitable for sex or the bedroom in general. You don't want to end up as an episode of CSI now do you. Gottaring the smart ass that she is suggested eating your partner before women swallow and as funny and snarky as that is, i just consider it good form and all my followers are doing it already. Semi seriously if you look at the market place there are about a billion different flavored lubes, powders and enhancers. Apparently we all taste awful. I have never run across a particularly foul vag though. I suggest a nice shower with some soap and away you go. I have heard the rumors of pineapple and celery and fruit diets for me. I have no first hand knowledge though. The other rumor is that smoking is bad for taste as well. The last question came from an offline playmate and she was very curious about a couple of things. The first is the nature of the term slut and then she was wondering if men like them and can men themselves be sluts.Inside the beating heart of everyone is a dirty dirty slut (except maybe the strangely over religious). We need to realize the pejorative connotation to slut. I look at the term like the old term wanton. A slut is away that sex is good and actually likes doing it, and actively seeks it out. Are there levels of sluttiness, of course there are. Can men be sluts, of course we can. Slut is an equal opportunity employer. What is important to remember is that you want to identify yourself as a positive slut and not the negative kind. What i mean by that is that you like sex and you want it. Not you have to feel bad because you touch yourself in the shower. If you own the term and self identify then no one can hurt you when they call you a slut. Well we have hit our three question limit this morning. Feel free to send your own questions to the all seeing advice line. Not only do they give me something to do on mondays but the fans seem to enjoy them too. |
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I would tend to agree with you. Now all i can think about is a nice thickly cut pork chop. This hunger thing might be contagious.
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1/9/2012 4:46 pm |
Once again spidey you have answered my question my clarity and hilarity (one of my goals before leaving was to rhyme a couple words in a blog). The drag is the method I've used in the past although I like the Shroud of Turin. Or I may just kiss her next time. Although after a BJ I demand she brush her teeth with bleach and eat Doritos before I will kiss her. See you on the other side, Ray.
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Smokers taste bad...I never really understood that until I quit smoking. From personal experience, pineapple man is soooo much better than beer man. LOL And I know Phaedrus was being funny, but I've seriously had men who refused to kiss me after I swallowed them whole. THAT was a complete turn off for me. Just sayin'.... I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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Once again spidey you have answered my question my clarity and hilarity (one of my goals before leaving was to rhyme a couple words in a blog). The drag is the method I've used in the past although I like the Shroud of Turin. Or I may just kiss her next time. Although after a BJ I demand she brush her teeth with bleach and eat Doritos before I will kiss her. See you on the other side, Ray.
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Smokers taste bad...I never really understood that until I quit smoking. From personal experience, pineapple man is soooo much better than beer man. LOL And I know Phaedrus was being funny, but I've seriously had men who refused to kiss me after I swallowed them whole. THAT was a complete turn off for me. Just sayin'....
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1/9/2012 7:04 pm |
Once again spidey you have answered my question my clarity and hilarity (one of my goals before leaving was to rhyme a couple words in a blog). The drag is the method I've used in the past although I like the Shroud of Turin. Or I may just kiss her next time. Although after a BJ I demand she brush her teeth with bleach and eat Doritos before I will kiss her. See you on the other side, Ray.
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Wise words. I'm rethinking wiping my face on the curtains now. Anyone else want to play Twister with menteluminosa after reading her comment? Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde
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1/9/2012 7:11 pm |
I had a guy shower three times during a sex session-- once after he made me cum -- with his hand NOT his face and after the whole episode I can't imagine that he has ever in his life gone down on a women he had a hard time kissing me.... he got up with his hand held away from his body and jumped in the shower--- I was astounded..... then he came back and we continued--- lol---- and then he came and again hopped in the shower.... I was flabbergasted.... then he came and asked me if I should have a shower--- so being the compliant person that I am I had a shower.... we cuddle for a bit and played and again I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not kidding he had a shower after he came again..... I was almost insulted lol!! I mean he had a condom on for pete sake-- what did he have to shower off??? anyway --- never saw him again after that--- that was just toooooooo freaky over the top for me--- I kinda am in agreement to roll around in all that sex offers myself--- and maybe just before sleeping have a shower together ---- hehehhehehe!! 
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1/9/2012 7:13 pm |
ps I love the taste of a glazed donut face!! hehehehe just saying!!
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omg Doritos??? they smell like dirty feet!!! you would rather kiss a woman with the smell of dirty feet permeating from her mouth than your own spunk??? OR for that matter the smell of bleach bleccccccch! you are crazy!! lmaoooooooooooo
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I had a guy shower three times during a sex session-- once after he made me cum -- with his hand NOT his face and after the whole episode I can't imagine that he has ever in his life gone down on a women he had a hard time kissing me.... he got up with his hand held away from his body and jumped in the shower--- I was astounded..... then he came back and we continued--- lol---- and then he came and again hopped in the shower.... I was flabbergasted.... then he came and asked me if I should have a shower--- so being the compliant person that I am I had a shower.... we cuddle for a bit and played and again I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not kidding he had a shower after he came again..... I was almost insulted lol!! I mean he had a condom on for pete sake-- what did he have to shower off??? anyway --- never saw him again after that--- that was just toooooooo freaky over the top for me--- I kinda am in agreement to roll around in all that sex offers myself--- and maybe just before sleeping have a shower together ---- hehehhehehe!!
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All I'm gonna say is that I have no problem kissing a dude after he's 'tripped the light fantastic'. I taste better without freaky flavoring and can't imagine that the fake stuff is useful for anything except masking nasty. Eww. I've had male friends who were averse to kissing women after they guzzled the spunk, so I tend to be sensitive to that. Although maybe their girlfriends were treating sperm like mouthwash and gargling before they swallow? If he kisses me afterward, I know it's cool, but I'll usually let him decide if he's comfortable and I don't get offended if he isnt. Men are notoriously squeamish about sperm. Besides, there are plenty of spots where he can kiss me that will still leave me smiling  .Thanks for answering my question! I assume that women who smoke might be doing so because they don't have anything better to suck on, but I can't imagine that a Camel tastes better than a cock  .I'm off to buy pineapple and celery...even if no one will ever reap the reward  .When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load...
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All I'm gonna say is that I have no problem kissing a dude after he's 'tripped the light fantastic'. I taste better without freaky flavoring and can't imagine that the fake stuff is useful for anything except masking nasty. Eww. I've had male friends who were averse to kissing women after they guzzled the spunk, so I tend to be sensitive to that. Although maybe their girlfriends were treating sperm like mouthwash and gargling before they swallow? If he kisses me afterward, I know it's cool, but I'll usually let him decide if he's comfortable and I don't get offended if he isnt. Men are notoriously squeamish about sperm. Besides, there are plenty of spots where he can kiss me that will still leave me smiling .Thanks for answering my question! I assume that women who smoke might be doing so because they don't have anything better to suck on, but I can't imagine that a Camel tastes better than a cock .I'm off to buy pineapple and celery...even if no one will ever reap the reward .i would agree with your men are squeemish about spunk. one of my favorite porn vids is a threeway where one of the guys end up unloading on his buddy by accident. it was like acid had been thrown on him. it is pricelessly funny and demonstrates what you say. you have an interesting take on smoking. i may need to ask the ladies i know who smoke what that is all about. maybe i can offer a substitute, wink wink nudge nudge.
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Wise words. I'm rethinking wiping my face on the curtains now. Anyone else want to play Twister with menteluminosa after reading her comment?
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1/10/2012 12:07 am |
Great post by the way...My experience is that men who eat a lot of fast food/restaurant dining taste very metallic. I have known men who had no taste at all which was a pleasant surprise. It wasn't surprising that they were both vegetarians and ate clean. I find that drinking a lot of water helps with my own taste or pineapple juice--any fresh juice a few days prior is helpful. The best is carrot and celery as they alkalize acid in the body. A mutual and pleasurable shower at the end of a long day and before having sex is a great way to start the evening...
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Great post by the way...My experience is that men who eat a lot of fast food/restaurant dining taste very metallic. I have known men who had no taste at all which was a pleasant surprise. It wasn't surprising that they were both vegetarians and ate clean. I find that drinking a lot of water helps with my own taste or pineapple juice--any fresh juice a few days prior is helpful. The best is carrot and celery as they alkalize acid in the body. A mutual and pleasurable shower at the end of a long day and before having sex is a great way to start the evening...
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menteluminosa has it right. if you arent happy with what comes out of your partners then you have no right wanting it.  One of us didn't read that right. LOL I don't have a problem with it...he did. And not with what came from me, but from what came from him. See?I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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huh? One of us didn't read that right. LOL I don't have a problem with it...he did. And not with what came from me, but from what came from him. See?
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