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Lust in your heart...  

redmustang91 64M
7761 posts
12/1/2006 9:25 am

Last Read:
12/1/2006 12:32 pm

Lust in your heart...


Ex Pres. Jimmy Carter famously admitted to having committed the sin of adultery by having lust in his heart! By that standard, most living humans are guilty of that sin. So lets think about relative levels of cheating.

If one's significant other or spouse has a right to monopolize your sexuality, does masturbation count as cheating? Is one guilty of cheating for viewing porn, reading Playboy, phone sex, cam sex, masturbating to dirty stories? Is it okay to fantasize about someone else while having sex with your spouse?

Is it cheating to pay a masseur for a hand job, oral sex or intercourse? Is it cheating to have a one night stand? Is it cheating to have sex with someone you like, but do not love, just a few times? Is it cheating for a female to have lesbian oral sex, but not have sex with males? Is it cheating for a woman to wear a strapon and push her dildo into a woman or a male rectum, if the woman does not have an orgasm?

Is it cheating for a<b> dominatrix </font></b>to humiliate men other than her spouse, if she enjoys the process but does not orgasm? And only hits her victims?

If the sexual activity does not cause the "cheater" to have an orgasm, is that less sinful? Does poor quality sexual activity make the sin less?

Is a married cheater worse than an attached person who lives with a sig other, but they are not formally married? If the parties living together never pledged fidelity, then is some "cheating" allowed?

If the ban on "cheating" is based on religion, is extramarital sex with the consent of your spouse allowed? What about swinging, threesomes including spouse, soft swapping with other couple in the same room but not swapping partners?

What about if you are stationed overseas and without a spouse for six months, a year, or several years? What if your spouse decides to stop having sex due to hormonal changes, or bad health?

What if your spouse decides that he or she does not like kissing, cuddling, oral sex, anal sex, or any form of sex other than five minutes of missionary position sex, once every two weeks? Or once a month? Or three times a year?

What if you spouse develops a condition where sex is painful and chooses to no longer have sex?

What if your spouse gains several hundred pounds and feels so unattractive, the spouse refuses to undress and have sex?

What if your spouse loses his or her sex drive as a side effect of meds needed to stay alive?

Is it okay to read and write blogs about sex, but not have sex with others, or is that cheating too?

rm_metalmama69 49F
3878 posts
12/1/2006 10:01 am

I define cheating as anything that steps beyond the boundaries my partner & I have set.
In the beginning, we discussed what cheating means to each of us, what our limits and boundaries are.
Anything that goes beyond what is agreed upon is cheating.
All couples, people, situations, beliefs etc are different which makes defining cheating a daunting task. As will everything else, communication is key


redmustang91 64M
9760 posts
12/1/2006 12:31 pm

Reminds me of the famous discussion over Bill Clinton's definition of sex in a deposition; the agreed definition did not include oral sex or 'blow jobs" as "sex"! In my opinion oral sex is sex and sexy!

The ultimate form of cheating is falling in love with someone else and choosing to leave and divorce your spouse.

If masturbation without one's spouse being present is defined as "cheating" than almost 100% of married people "cheat"! If all non-spousal recreational sex, including those paid for sex, is defined as "cheating", then I suspect over 80% of married humans "cheat" at some time during the marriage. Not saying it is right or wrong, just saying what occurs. Consider Kinsey's research for example.


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