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| Blogs > Man4Man4Fun2Day > My journey into bisexuality. |
The 'no show' date, it is disappointing but understandable
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The 'no show' date, it is disappointing but understandable If you look at many profiles on here - and if you aren't at least window shopping what the hell are you doing here - you will read a lot of "be real," "want to meet, not endless chat," "if you make a date SHOW UP," and the like. All indicating the all too familiar 'no show' or the more polite but almost as disappointing 'last second cancel' has been a part of the author's dating history here. Or maybe I should say non-dating history here. It is disappointing, but I understand it. I don't particularly like it, but I understand it. I understand it because there was a time when I was the guy doing it. Adult Dating zone and places online like it are very different than meeting in a bar. Here your urges have more power over you. You are alone in your house or apartment with these fantasies, these desires. All you can think of is fucking another man's ass, sucking his dick, eating a woman five minutes after you meet her, having someone spank you with a<b> riding crop </font></b>and when the pain makes you cry fuck your ass hard and fast (perhaps with a strap-on if you were spanked by a female), or something else you have never done. (For the record all of these are NOT my fantasies, so don't expect me to let you do some of them to me if you contact me.) And not only are you thinking about them but you read profiles of people who want to do this stuff to you or you do it to them. So, being normal and horny, you contact one of them. Maybe you exchange a few emails. You make a date. The time of the date approaches. It hits you, "I'm going to suck a dick! I've never touched anybody's dick but my own! What if my wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/whatever, either one now if you have one or someone in your future you haven't met yet but will someday, ever finds out?" or "When the guys make fun of a gay, I'll have done everything he does." The fantasy has just lost a lot of power! If you were meeting in a bar the person you are about to stand up wouldn't be, "someone I met online" he would be "the guy with the winning smile I've been flirting with for 15 minutes." He wouldn't be "someone to fuck," he'd be "Bill" or some other real name. He would be a human being the way someone who only exists in your world online can not be. You are conflicted. You don't go for the date. If your mother raised you right you call or email and cancel, but either way you don't go. So what can be done, other than have all 'virgins' be 'deflowered' by another 'virgin' and only then admitted to the much more exclusive, currently non-existent, 2nd level with sworn statements from two others, "Yes, we did the shit he/she said he/she wanted to do in his/her profile?" And you know some would lie. Get three IDs, two to vouch for the real one. When we say we want FWB, show the 'F' part in the emails immediately. Take time to set up a date, let them get to know you. Don't loose your cool when they still end up cancelling, and some will. No matter how much everyone protests, "It is just sex," the fact is it is as intimate a thing that can be done by two people and most people have to have someone who acknowledges that, at some level, in some way, to lead them through it the first or second, or tenth time. Without it no shows will always be a big part of our dating life here. If the fantasy, desire, you pick the name, was real and had occurred before it will occur again. My experience tells me they will be back and will do all in their power to make the date(s) worth your time when they meet you. I know, I have been them and so have many of you. So figure the stand ups as a part of the cost of membership and don't let it upset you. It isn't personal, it is nerves. One day the nerves will be history and you'll have a lover, FWB, NSA buddy, or one nighters you'll remember. J. |
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