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Chatting .......  

cwazywabbit009 59M
1507 posts
8/21/2015 11:36 am
Chatting .......

in the chat rooms I get to see a lot of weird and wonderful things but an unfortunate constant is the behaviour of a lot of men. They dispense with any form of courtesy and expect people to fall all over them and then get upset when they are called on their behaviour.



Then there are the men that put down other men in a moronic display of Alpha Male chest beating, hoping women will look more favourably on them when they do.



When most are thinking



And while I fully realize there is next to zero chance any would read this, I thought I would share this article I found, slightly edited and added to by me.

21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today [maybe not lost, just misplaced]

1. He stands when she walks in the room: In the old days, men stood when a lady, dignitary, or elderly person walked in the room. It was a sign of respect. Standing shows you are attentive and you care.

2. He walks by her on the outside, closest to the street: Why is the top coat symbolic of the gentleman? Before our drainage systems, a man stood on the outside of the sidewalk in a long coat to protect her from the dust and sewage that could splash up as carriages passed by.

3. He opens the door for her: The modern gentleman helps her in and out of the car to stand in the way of creepy gawkers. Opening a door for her is not a sign she is weak, but a gesture of affection. And I will add that holding a door for anyone is a show of respect and courtesy, no matter who you are holding the door for.

4. He never criticizes a home-made meal: An out-loud criticism of a meal as a guest was considered disrespectful to the host. If anyone takes the time and effort to make a dinner, they are your host. Honor them. Smile and chew.

5. He doesn’t LOL for the sake of attention: a gentleman doesn’t have to be loud to command attention. He commands attention through his strong character.

6. He pulls out her chair: It was common for the gentleman to pull out her chair and allow her to face the open room. Then you can lightly run your hand across her shoulder to let her know you want her.



7. He sits after she sits: “…and at the table wait until she is seated, indeed wait until every lady is seated, before taking your own place” The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness (1860).

8. He helps her put on/take off her coat: Up through the Edwardian period, women wore multiple layers, and beneath them a restricting corset. A gentleman would help his lady put on and take off her coat because of her restricted movement. Corsets are not common today, but many women still enjoy the help of a gentleman. …….. to remove her clothes



9. He doesn’t walk ahead of her: Because ladies wore long dresses and could trip on them, the gentleman walked behind her when climbing a staircase. Tumbling down a flight of stairs isn’t a good way to end a date. Today, the gentleman follows this etiquette rule because she might be wearing long heels or a long dress. This is another sign of him protecting her. However, she may want him to walk up stairs first if she’s wearing a short skirt.

10. He gives up his seat to her if there is only standing room: A gentleman offers his seat to a lady if there are no other seats on the bus/train. I’m talking to you…the dude who wouldn’t give his seat up to the pregnant lady.

11. He carries her bags: A gentleman will help her carry her bags today, and when flying, will assist others in putting their luggage in the overhead compartments. I’ll amend this to offering to help carry bags. Women are not the weaker sex by far. Being raised by a widowed mum taught me how strong women really are and how lost we men would be without them.

12. He picks up the check: An English gentleman never split the meal with his date. The English used the term “go dutch” in “derisive application,” as they stereotyped the Dutch as being cheap, or “stingy.” Today, the gentleman generally picks up the tab, especially on the first date, and with no expectations. But at the same time, you have to respect the wishes of the woman as well. If she insists on paying her share, you should respect her wishes. There’s that respect word again ….hmmmmmmm

13. He holds an umbrella over her when it rains: It was common for a younger person to hold an umbrella for an older person. When it rains, the gentleman holds an umbrella over her and doesn’t mind getting a little wet. Here’s a tip, get a golf umbrella, you can fit more people under it.

14. He gives her his jacket: A gentleman pays attention, and if he notices her shivering, he gives her his jacket to wear.

15. He keeps her secrets: A gentleman will always keep a secret, especially the one entrusted to him by the woman of his dreams. Should a break-up happen, the gentleman can still be trusted.

16. He walks her home or to safety: A true gentleman will walk her to her car or home to this day because he’s concerned for her safety. Once again, in today’s world, offer to walk her there but respect her wishes if she declines your offer.

17. He listens to her: “To be a good listener is as indispensable as to be a good talker…” The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness (1860). A gentleman always listens because he wants to deeply get to know her. Common sense but too many ignore it.



18. He’s on time: A gentleman is his word. Traffic is not an excuse for being late to a date. A good man plans in advance. If she is worth your time, she is worth you making sure you don’t keep her waiting.

19. He compliments her: She spent a lot of time getting ready, so a gentleman always compliments. He doesn’t play on her insecurities. And I will add, your compliments should be genuine as she will see through any that are not.

20. He would never dream of hitting ANY woman: “…the greatest man would justly be reckoned a brute if he were not civil to the meanest woman” Martine’s Handbook (1866). The same rules apply today. It doesn’t matter if you are Chris Brown or Ray Rice, a gentleman finds no excuse to hit a woman…no matter what.



21. He asks her father for her hand in marriage: In Victorian days, a gentleman would have to show his coat of arms, or his credentials to her father to show he was a worthy man for marriage. The 21st century gentleman asks her father for his blessing because it’s respectful and courteous. Can’t say I agree with this one but that’s just me.

Chances of those needing this actually reading this



But to remain silent invites more of it





Drop in and visit my blog sometime, but you'll probably regret it


nightsoul1962 61F
17828 posts
8/21/2015 11:58 am

Well...I'm the one next to zero that actually read the whole post! It's all about respect,which nowadays society lacks of!

WITHOUT PASSION LIFE IS NOTHING


cwazywabbit009 replies on 8/21/2015 12:05 pm:
Yes but the ones that might benefit from reading it won't

positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
8/21/2015 1:00 pm

And that, young men, is how you get laid.


cwazywabbit009 replies on 8/21/2015 3:01 pm:
Now that is up for debate
Thanks for visiting and commenting!

redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
8/21/2015 1:31 pm

I went to the “Mature” chat room the other day to see what was up. There were about 12 –15 “men” and 3 women. It was an x-country “pissing contest”, that is what one woman said before she left. I stayed for about 2 minutes and left – didn’t say a word.

The problem I have with being, or trying to be, a gentleman is when I do the simplest things (on time, complement, door, chair, coat, bags) I get looked at like I was from a different planet. There have been times I’ve had to explain why I do those things.


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


cwazywabbit009 replies on 8/21/2015 2:55 pm:
I know exactly what you mean. Hold the door for someone and get a WTF! look, like you are up to something. If they ask, I just tell them it is how I was raised.

sweet_VM 65F
81699 posts
8/21/2015 2:56 pm

Some of these chatroom just get me pissed off.. Way some guys can come in and jump all over you! He thinks he can get laid! hugsssssss V

Become a blog watcher sweet_vm


cwazywabbit009 replies on 8/21/2015 3:03 pm:
Don't blame you one bit. The room I usually populate has a great bunch of women that don't take any shit and a friend pointed me at another room that has been quite refreshing so far, just lots of fun and no bs what so ever.

sweetrose24 62F

8/22/2015 5:09 am

I have to agree that the bad behaviour is not exclusive to men......women are also represented there too !


cwazywabbit009 replies on 8/22/2015 5:45 am:
Yes but as a man I feel I am only qualified to write from that perspective. Women do not need yet another man commenting and criticizing their behaviour.

Borntobeefree72 51F
2596 posts
9/4/2015 8:49 pm

Respect is very important. Well said.

Borntobeefree72?* Know what you want, ask for it! The pleasure is worth it.


cwazywabbit009 replies on 9/7/2015 4:48 am:
It is and thank you.

redhotfun4you2 61F  
1596 posts
11/6/2015 9:59 pm

Refreshing to see there are still men out there who actually think that way.

A true gentleman is rare.


cwazywabbit009 replies on 11/9/2015 10:17 am:
Thank you. It's all about respect for others.

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