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2015 repost
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2015 repost In the chat rooms I get to see a lot of weird and wonderful things but an unfortunate constant is the behaviour of a lot of men. They dispense with any form of courtesy and expect people to fall all over them and then get upset when they are called on their behaviour.  Then there are the men that put down other men in a moronic display of Alpha Male chest beating, hoping women will look more favourably on them when they do.  When most are thinking  And while I fully realize there is next to zero chance any would read this, I thought I would share this article I found, slightly edited and added to by me. 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today [maybe not lost, just misplaced] 1. He stands when she walks in the room: In the old days, men stood when a lady, dignitary, or elderly person walked in the room. It was a sign of respect. Standing shows you are attentive and you care. 2. He walks by her on the outside, closest to the street: Why is the top coat symbolic of the gentleman? Before our drainage systems, a man stood on the outside of the sidewalk in a long coat to protect her from the dust and sewage that could splash up as carriages passed by. 3. He opens the door for her: The modern gentleman helps her in and out of the car to stand in the way of creepy gawkers. Opening a door for her is not a sign she is weak, but a gesture of affection. And I will add that holding a door for anyone is a show of respect and courtesy, no matter who you are holding the door for. 4. He never criticizes a home-made meal: An out-loud criticism of a meal as a guest was considered disrespectful to the host. If anyone takes the time and effort to make a dinner, they are your host. Honor them. Smile and chew. 5. He doesn’t LOL for the sake of attention: a gentleman doesn’t have to be loud to command attention. He commands attention through his strong character. 6. He pulls out her chair: It was common for the gentleman to pull out her chair and allow her to face the open room. Then you can lightly run your hand across her shoulder to let her know you want her.  7. He sits after she sits: “…and at the table wait until she is seated, indeed wait until every lady is seated, before taking your own place” The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness (1860). 8. He helps her put on/take off her coat: Up through the Edwardian period, women wore multiple layers, and beneath them a restricting corset. A gentleman would help his lady put on and take off her coat because of her restricted movement. Corsets are not common today, but many women still enjoy the help of a gentleman. …….. to remove her clothes  9. He doesn’t walk ahead of her: Because ladies wore long dresses and could trip on them, the gentleman walked behind her when climbing a staircase. Tumbling down a flight of stairs isn’t a good way to end a date. Today, the gentleman follows this etiquette rule because she might be wearing long heels or a long dress. This is another sign of him protecting her. However, she may want him to walk up stairs first if she’s wearing a short skirt. 10. He gives up his seat to her if there is only standing room: A gentleman offers his seat to a lady if there are no other seats on the bus/train. I’m talking to you…the dude who wouldn’t give his seat up to the pregnant lady. 11. He carries her bags: A gentleman will help her carry her bags today, and when flying, will assist others in putting their luggage in the overhead compartments. I’ll amend this to offering to help carry bags. Women are not the weaker sex by far. Being raised by a widowed mum taught me how strong women really are and how lost we men would be without them. 12. He picks up the check: An English gentleman never split the meal with his date. The English used the term “go dutch” in “derisive application,” as they stereotyped the Dutch as being cheap, or “stingy.” Today, the gentleman generally picks up the tab, especially on the first date, and with no expectations. But at the same time, you have to respect the wishes of the woman as well. If she insists on paying her share, you should respect her wishes. There’s that respect word again ….hmmmmmmm 13. He holds an umbrella over her when it rains: It was common for a younger person to hold an umbrella for an older person. When it rains, the gentleman holds an umbrella over her and doesn’t mind getting a little wet. Here’s a tip, get a golf umbrella, you can fit more people under it. 14. He gives her his jacket: A gentleman pays attention, and if he notices her shivering, he gives her his jacket to wear. 15. He keeps her secrets: A gentleman will always keep a secret, especially the one entrusted to him by the woman of his dreams. Should a break-up happen, the gentleman can still be trusted. 16. He walks her home or to safety: A true gentleman will walk her to her car or home to this day because he’s concerned for her safety. Once again, in today’s world, offer to walk her there but respect her wishes if she declines your offer. 17. He listens to her: “To be a good listener is as indispensable as to be a good talker…” The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness (1860). A gentleman always listens because he wants to deeply get to know her. Common sense but too many ignore it.  18. He’s on time: A gentleman is his word. Traffic is not an excuse for being late to a date. A good man plans in advance. If she is worth your time, she is worth you making sure you don’t keep her waiting. 19. He compliments her: She spent a lot of time getting ready, so a gentleman always compliments. He doesn’t play on her insecurities. And I will add, your compliments should be genuine as she will see through any that are not. 20. He would never dream of hitting ANY woman: “…the greatest man would justly be reckoned a brute if he were not civil to the meanest woman” Martine’s Handbook (1866). The same rules apply today. It doesn’t matter if you are Chris Brown or Ray Rice, a gentleman finds no excuse to hit a woman…no matter what.  21. He asks her father for her hand in marriage: In Victorian days, a gentleman would have to show his coat of arms, or his credentials to her father to show he was a worthy man for marriage. The 21st century gentleman asks her father for his blessing because it’s respectful and courteous. Can’t say I agree with this one but that’s just me. Chances of those needing this actually reading this  But to remain silent invites more of it   Drop in and visit my blog sometime, but you'll probably regret it  |
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Incredibly wonderful post!! I hope is gets many hits and comments. Well done and thanks (Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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I quite enjoyed this post ... interesting reasons why things were done. I wish a lot of that would reappear!
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