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THE EROTIC EXPLORER!
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THE EROTIC EXPLORER! I have always been a fish out of water the shy,socially awkward, bookworm, who loved Opera, Ballet and read books by the dozen, i was also from early on a sissy boy! I loved playing with dolls and skipping rope and doing all the things girls were supposed to do, but I learned to mask this and to channel my energy into more masculine pursuits as I matured. My Parents to their credit let me be me for the most part at home in our family I had my Julia Doll and my James Bond Gun and Daniel Boone Fur Cap. but I was made to realize that there were people who did not think boys playing with dolls or painting their toenails Hot Pink was proper normal behavior. I was a who adored my parents they were so caring and nurturing and sweet but they made me realize a black had it hard enough to get a break ,a freaky black was a guaranteed loser at the gate! I wanted to please them and even then I was ambitious and competitive , so I conformed where I could and learned to conceal the more sissy instincts and interest.I put on the mask to move through the ranks and learned to wear the mask of normalcy whatever the hell , normal is?! And is anyone really normal? I wore the mask did ok with school, excelled in the arts where my fem ways were tolerated, and accepted if not encouraged. I did straight guy songs and roles ok on stage I was believeable, Girls liked me and got crushes, some boys did too, I didnt date or deceive the girls,, and I was too uptight and guilt ridden to fuck any of the guys, I was all their best friend,and became a very popular and well liked person, by my late teens I saw a career in music as possible very possible. and coming out as sissy became more risky. It would be decades, before I was able to take it off that mask and asess that risk and deem it worth taking. Even to this day as wild, reckless and free an adventuress as I have become. The need to hold back, conceal, modify my sissy , behavior .actions ,desires ,has it's hold! I struggle daily to cast off the yoke. Creativel expression and Drag are means of doing so, dance theater and singing are a way of doing so, I have never known the level of spiritual awareness I have found when living out a deep intense sexual fantasy with my Lover,and each man I am with is for that time and the duration of our passion and desire and our fantasy,my lover! In That Moment In Time.Fuck and Be Free Arlene |
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