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Growing up trans
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Growing up trans This post is only viewable by Adult Dating zone members. Join Adult Dating zone now! |
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1 post 6/29/2014 8:10 pm |
Hi Jessica.  First off. You look lovely hon!!!  As another 'late bloomer', I fully understand where you are coming from. Back in the days before the world wide web and info sharing. There were no words to describe how badly I did not fit in. It just left me feeling numb. Hating myself and hiding behind a mask of who everyone else thought I should be. I've come down a long road so far and still have miles too go. But for once in my life I am trully happy. And finally able to look in the mirror and see me real self. Kelly
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Stay strong hun, its a long road we follow but remember your never alone HUGS Jessica {=}
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I was a bit different as I had a younger brother strait as an arrow along with a sister 16 yrs younger. I can still remember going into my mothers clothes when no one was home, god forbid I should get caught. I just wanted dress up for as long as I could. I remember keeping the lights out so no one could see me. I wanted to be able to wear these soft clothes all the time, but always got jeans that felt like starched cardboard. This was the sixties, It was all supposed to be good like the song, If you can't be with one you want baby love the one you're with.... Like Jess said if I were caught it would have been I'm weird and queer I remember hearing it or a lesbian.... Find some where else to live kid we don't want your kind around the kids.. Now, here I am saying this for the first time ever to any one that reads it. I'm still deep in the closet but I seem to take more chances now, I wear a bra and panties almost everyday but under my normal clothes. It gets some hot in the summer so I wait till it cools off for stockings or pantyhose, they cover up well in winter. I have a wife that knows what I do now and she tolerates it but we haven't had any sex for 6 yrs.. That's because she lost all her libido after menopause. We still love each other and sleep in the same bed, we just never have any intimate contact.. It really hurts me because I've still got mine even if it's gone to the gurls ...lol.. I have to find humor somehow Because I get nothing physical. I'm glad she told me to take this journey and enjoy it as long as can but be sure to come home again. So here I am 1am talking about the forbidden. My closet is still tightly closed but damn I'd love to meet someone who could show me the road to take and how to get there ASAP. I'm terrible talking away then going way off topic. It's simply avoidance in my subconscious believe it or not. Maybe I'll try to talk again some time if I'm not being offensive to anyone. I'm simply terrified of being found out, but that goes with the transgender issue. You really impress me Jess just being yourself and living happily with it, good work girl, wish I had the $%^&8 to be open, but it won't be anytime soon. Trish (hidden in a mans world) looking more like a biker than a CD...lol.
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I copied this note to a blog on my site with a special thank you to Jess. If you look in my site and please do I wrote the same thing as here plus a couple of words for Jess
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Hi Jess, It's kinda funny when I think about it, here I am at 5am writing again. It's all because I can get away with more obvious underthings when everyone else is sleeping. I can loosen up my vest that covers most everything, actually undo the buttons and enjoy my breasts. Small as they are they still have great sensitive nipples. I will go out to the garage now and then and use a breast enhancement pump like at about 6 or so. Nobodies up yet. They stay larger for a few hours before returning to normal, that's when I have to make some excuse to go to the garage again. I have to be fast enough that I can fake doing something important, while really sucking on my chest. It's my way of feeling female, I have a set of my own yay... They go away fast enough ,after being up all night I can go to bed if I'm too obvious. It's amazing how I find ways to stay in the closet but still feel femme now and then. It gets crazier by the minute when I think about it. I'm talking about it and I'll slip out at about 6 for my few minutes of fun and feeling real.... Why is it so hard to be what you want? Got me stumped, I just keep covering up more and more by the day. All this because I want desperately to be with another gurl like I said before. I don't get it at all. Jess you really do have it made, not only have you transitioned but you're absolutely stunning as well, keep it up hun, wish I was you...lol. Trish
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No body but you can decide, what your journey is. Like I tell everyone around me... you don't wake up one day and decide "hmm I think Id like to be a woman and choose the hardest lifestyle and give everything up" My choices and my decision was to be true to and happy with myself and no longer endure the pain of pretending to be the person everyone saw and expected me to be  Now they see the real me... now they see how much happier I am. I've given up a lot to be this happy and my true friends and family support and have stuck by me.
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I love it all Jess !! Trish
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1 post 5/21/2015 3:20 pm |
wow you sure have had an difficult time in your life a life of frustration and humility I know it is difficult having many TS friends and my attraction toward them is awesome but we have shared a lot of time getting through the transition period and to be now comfortable in your mind body and soul is a wonder thing good for you girl Only thing is I live in Barrie and you don't like men it says that is quite different from my experience why is that if you don't mind me asking curious cause I sure could use a friend like you in Barrie it hard to find up here thanks pete
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