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| Blogs > jamesfrid > My Endevors. |
I Can't Think of a Title.
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I Can't Think of a Title. This is not some story about how I'm sad and lonely. It mainly delves into why I choose to be single with some FWBs than married or dating someone. A lot of people in my life find my choices odd, and they should. It goes against the "social contract" we all apparently signed. They question why I'm not like everyone else. The simple answer is: it makes me happy. Perhaps some backstory would help: I used to be like them. Young, married and downright miserable. I was only 2 years in the Navy and still not familiar women who love a man in uniform for their own selfish reasons (tricare and benefits). Ignorant and naive, I let myself get snatched up by a young, beautiful brunette. Despite what the older Sailors told me, I went through with the marriage, joint bank account and everything. I thought that was what I supposed to do. It was good for the first six months, I thought I was in love. I'm deployed to Greece to provide security for the Summer Olympics and participate in OVM. I remained<b> faithful </font></b>to my wife despite the ever present temptation of foreign women of loose morals constantly trying to bag an American. It was a great exercise of restraint and discipline for me. So I spent a lot of time on base when I wasn't on duty or on a mission with a good friend stationed there who I served in Bahrain with. She was very good at keeping me in check and it made not wanting to get my dick wet easier. During this time, I'm saving up all my per diem and bonus pays. I wanted to buy myself a brand new Harley Davidson Fat Boy. Two weeks before I was to return home, I went to the military auto sales and had it picked out with all the accessories and everything. It would be waiting for me at the Norfolk Harley Dealer by the time I got home. All I needed was to pay for it and I was practically skipping to the bank to get a cashiers check for the full amount. I happily announced to the teller what I needed and why I needed it, she seemed excited for me as she punched in my info. Grimly, she tells me that I do not sufficient funds to get the check. Thinking it was a joke, I laughed and said very funny. No, I'm serious, it shows your wife withdrew all the funds 3 days ago. My heart sank like a ton of bricks. I remember telling her the week before what day I would be home. Why would she do this? I told her I was buying the bike, she seemed cool with it since she made more money than I did and we had no problems paying the bills. I meekly excused myself and ran to the phone center to call her. It was about 8PM east coast time so she would be home. I called our home number, no answer. Her cellphone went straight to voicemail, I told her to call me back on my Vodaphone ASAP. The last two weeks went by with no contact from her at all. We flew into Norfolk Naval Station on a warm sunny Saturday, families were all there waiting to reunite with their loved one. Still holding out hope this was just an elaborate prank on her part, I searched for my wife but she was not there. A friend drove me to my home on base housing, my wife's car was gone from the driveway. I hadn't told anyone what was going on and lied about her dealing with a family emergency and that I would go see her at her parent's house. The home was more or less the same way I left it 7 months prior except most of her stuff was gone. On the kitchen table was a manila envelope with a post it note saying read and sign and a phone number. They were divorce papers from her lawyer. My wife had robbed me blind. Played me for a fool and left to Fayetteville, NC to be with some army guy. The marriage was annulled and I wasn't the bright eyed, cheerful gentleman my mom had raised. I became bitter and angry at all women. I moped around for a few weeks alone, moving out of base housing and back into the barracks before my friend finally offered to take me out for some drinks. He took me to a go-go bar outside one of the bases and introduced me to a dancer he knew. We chatted in between her sets and I began to feel some of my defenses crumble. She too was treated like shit by her ex husband so we had sort of a connection there. My friend was long gone by the time I noticed it was closing time. He and this dancer had planned this and I was going home with her. It was the start to a new way of life for me. It was she who introduced me to swinging. And I began to find myself enjoying it. After a few months, I couldn't see myself being how I was again. I've met so many wonderful, kind and understanding people. It was a part of society that I once shunned because I thought it was wrong, but now I knew how right it felt. I gained massive amounts of confidence seeing my woman be with another man sexually and knowing she would still be coming home with me. I also became less jealous to the point where nothing bothers me. I also learned tips and pointers from the other women I would be with boosting my sexual performance. That would eventually end when I got transferred to another part of the country. I tried to find myself another woman in that area that would be willing to join me in swinging but it would never happen. I finally stopped looking and went back to regular dating. That has been my life for the past 8 years. It just wasn't the same to me. I hated dating because I felt like a caged animal. I consider myself a good enough looking guy and I am funny and well versed. I can talk to anyone and either they'll really like me or really hate me. Especially women. And I would do it without being aware I was. I was actively "hunting" even if I was in the presence of my girlfriend which more often than not would make her extremely mad and jealous. I knew dating wasn't right for me anymore either. For about 4 years, I have been going from woman to woman on a strictly FWB basis. I still have my loyalty and honesty about me so I'm usually with one at a time but I have had 2 or 3 at the same time with their knowledge and approval. My life has been more enjoyable because of this, but I often think about settling down with just one woman. Then again, I still enjoy the thrill of the hunt so she would have to be someone willing to follow me into the swinger lifestyle. I often find myself envious of the couples I've met that are happily married and out there sharing themselves with other people. That is my ultimate goal in life: A loving woman who enjoys constantly exploring sexuality with her husband and the right people. |
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