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Can a Man and a Woman Really Have a Platonic Relationship?
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Can a Man and a Woman Really Have a Platonic Relationship? Let's say that a man and a woman are friends. They have known each other for a while and nothing has ever happened between them. By "nothing," they mean that they've never kissed. The chemistry between them is palpable and they've been in situations where he could have made a move but he did not. And she recognizes this and respects him for it. She knows that his intentions are ostensibly pure. She may or may not find him attractive, but it doesn't matter. He's a good guy and she likes talking to him. And even if he's cute, she's not interested in him like that. Or so she thinks. On the flip side, he thinks that she is sexy. He'd love to go out for drinks, take her back to his place, inch closer to her on the couch. But she's made it clear that she's not looking for a relationship or she's already in a committed one. He's a respectful guy and completely understands. He's been placed in the friend zone but he's not bitter about being there. In fact, he embraces the opportunity. He continues to message her because she's a cool chick. And, honestly, when a hot girl messages you, it's impossible to ignore her. Especially when she's a nice person. Because of his sincerity, she's comfortable enough to share her secrets with him. Stuff that she's not willing to tell her significant other, perhaps because he is not quite as understanding. Or maybe, it's bad stuff about her boyfriend. And you know what, it doesn't matter how independent a woman is--when her boyfriend messes up, she needs someone to talk to. More specifically, she needs to talk to a friend, someone she can trust. Similarly, when his girlfriend is acting up, he will need an outlet. He'll need someone to be there for him. And you know what's remarkable... he's willing to have an emotional conversation... knowing that things won't get intimate. Over time, he became the Michael Jordan of the friend zone. He's not going to make a move because he doesn't want to jeopardize the friendship. It means too much to him. Typically, women tend to be drawn to guys with good personalities. Yeah, of course, looks play a part. But as she continues to laugh uncontrollably at his corny jokes, as she continues to turn to him for his advice, as she continues to feel secure in his presence, she will begin to let down her guard. On the other hand, men tend to be drawn to women who look good. He was first attracted to her because she had sex appeal but as he got to know her more and more--she became beautiful. Controlling his feelings will become that much more difficult. And when he is vulnerable, he's no longer in control. The truth is, they may never do anything physical in life. They may never cross the line. But a relationship can never be truly platonic if you have to set up boundaries. A relationship can never be truly platonic if you have to adjust your feelings. A relationship can never truly be platonic if you have to pretend that you are happy with the way things really are...when deep down--you want something more. And for some friends, they may eventually cross the line. Because, ultimately, we are human. Disclaimer: If there is absolutely no physical attraction between a male and female, then, I would say, it is possible that they can truly share a platonic relationship. But once a man is attracted to a woman; or the woman is attracted to the man; or both are attracted to each other--the relationship cannot and will never be platonic. You can, however, pretend that it is platonic. And for some people, this is good enough. |
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12/23/2015 3:01 am |
The platonic relationship: intimate and affectionate but not sexual. We should think about it as a phase. In your example, where the man is willing to proceed to the next stage whereas not the girl b/c she has a bf alrdy. Hence they are at an impasse. We can thus label this platonic relationship as static with the possibility of it proceeding to the next step. Like a balloon their attraction to each other will reach a bursting point and they will have to come to an ultimatum; either break it off or get together. This is just a possible model we can work with.
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Can a Man and a Woman Really Have a Platonic Relationship? .... If he is impotent, or she is grossly ugly, or a lesbian, otherwise, no. Absolutely not. He would always be thinking about getting her naked. A woman would say "Yes" to being platonic with him because she reaps all the benefits without having sex with him. Win for her. She found a mamas boy. What you're describing in your story is a man who has allowed himself to be her token gay best friend. She doesn't respect him. She knows she is using him. She gets all the benefits of attention, adoration, validation, maybe stuff bought for her, all without having sex with him. He is a doormat. Women have other women to turn to when her life gets all fucked up, and she knows it. He's never getting her naked. They're "Just" friends. You hear , "I want to be friends first", or "Let's be just friends", you walk away. I don't care how hot she is, you're never getting in her vagina. If you told women, "I only want JUST sex with you". You think she would stick around? No, of course not.
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A man & woman can have a platonic friendship sure, but if one is sexual attracted to the other and it's not reciprocated, then that can be problematic
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Can a Man and a Woman Really Have a Platonic Relationship? "Really"? ...No. But what age group are you addressing. As we get older, relationships tend to be platonic [intimate and affectionate but not sexual] because of hormonal ending changes. While when we are younger, before puberty, relationships tend to be also platonic, in the form of friendships. But at the time of puberty [hormonal beginning changes] , humans experience a reproductive drive, we call this sex, because we play with it now. The male, and female typically will not approach each other for platonic relationships during this time, except for circumstances like being gay. On Youtube there are several videos asking this question to college age students. You might want to review them.
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