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Something helpful for a change
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Something helpful for a change Everything I know about prophylactics I found out either the hard way (trial and error, argh!) or by being diligent about educating myself. Like many young women out there, my mother didn't talk to me about sex. The longest talk we had was when she said in a firm voice, "DON'T!" Well that gave me all I needed to know, right? Not really. I had my first sexual encounter at the ripe old age of 15 and without a condom although I knew they existed, I was pressured into having sex before I was ready by a guy from school I barely knew and all thirty seconds of that pain is still a regret today. Although I regret hundreds of things about that fateful day, the thing I regret the most is that I didn't use a condom and put myself at risk unknowingly. Many of our young and more seasoned ladies today are doing the same thing I did. Acting out of pressure and not protecting themselves. That brings me to my reason for writing you. (I am sure you are like FINALLY, she gets to the point!) There are many ways of protecting yourself as a female having sex regardless to sexual orientation. I wanted to highlight them and say why I enjoy them. #1 The female condom: This wonderful invention has been a true lifesaver in more ways that you will ever know. First and foremost it puts the power in the hands of the lady. No more dealing with BS excuses about how condoms are tight and don't fit, latex allergies (only 6% of the world population has a TRUE latex allergy so don't believe the hype), how they ruin the mood, the excuses go on and on. This wonderful invention is made of a polyurethane cousin called nitrile. It warms to your body temperature making for a feeling closer to skin on skin. It is ideal for on the go as you can insert it before you go out and like a tampon wear it for up to 8 hours. This makes it ideal for that spontaneous hook up or spur of the moment/heat of the moment encounter. Go to www.fc2.com for more information and how to videos. #2 The male condom: Old faithful, tried and true and aren't we in luck, they come in all shapes, sizes, flavored, unlubricated, non-latex the works. It's like a box of chocolates, you have so many to choose from but you don't have to pick just one. I personally carry both flavored and lubricated because as I am now educated, I know that we should ALWAYS use a condom for oral sex on a penis too. It is funny how a man/woman will insist on a condom for vaginal or anal penetration, but not for oral sex. That same possibly infected penis or vagina can do more damage in your mouth than in your vagina ladies or on your penis men, do your homework and learn the facts. You should always use a condom on your toys too. Anything being inserted into the anus or vagina should be covered in a condom! Real Talk! It is also important to note that only 5% of the men in the WORLD need a magnum condom. Porn and Trojan have convinced every man he needs that little gold package for his little package and it is not true. The number 1 reason for condom breakage is incorrect fit. If the condom is too big (as in most cases) too small or not correctly put on (you would be surprised how many men have no clue how to correctly put on a condom, women too for that matter) it will break. Although most Americans don't take the time to read instructions, if you have never read a how to put on a condom instruction on the box or pamphlet you should do so at least once, you will most likely learn something, I promise. #3 Dental/oral dams: No matter what you wanna call them, they are awesome for giving and receiving oral sex to/from a woman. This protects you both, they are thin sheets of plastic that are most often flavored for added pleasure and create a barrier between vaginal fluids and the mouth. Because they are so thin, you can feel everything just as if there was nothing there. It may seem awkward at first, but practice makes perfect and honey let me tell you, once you get comfortable at it, you will wonder what took you so long to start. #4 Finger cots & gloves: Ladies and gents, the hands are full of germs. No matter how much you wash them, studies show there are still tons of bacteria that remain on hands even after washing with "anti-bacterial soap". That is because most people don't wash their hands for the properly amounted time (three minutes) nor do they use the correct temperature water (98-105 degrees). Therefore, if fingers are going to be inserted into your vagina or anus, those fingers should be covered with finger cots or gloves. (or tiny weeny peenie protectors as some call them). #5 LUBE: Although this doesn't seem like it fits in this list of barrier methods, but believe it or not, lubricant is a barrier method (not to prevent STDs or pregnancy) to preventing friction and causing tearing of delicate tissue in the vagina, anus or both. Lubrication is also key to keeping your condom (male or female) from breaking. Although many women and men like to think they can get "wet" without much assistance, and this is true, the vagina can lubricate itself when you are aroused, studies and just plain old experience has shown that this is often not enough lubrication to prevent dryness during extended periods of sex. That means if you are planning to have sex for more than ten minutes, lubrication is now your BFF 4 Reelz! The more lubricated you are, the better and it can take trial and error to find the best one for you, but let me break it down a bit so that you know what is what. **Water based lubricants are great and safe for anyone and everyone to use. They come in flavors, but if you are sensitive I suggest you use non flavored. These lubricants are compatible with any and all condoms and can be quite versatile. Now if you are a woman who experiences vaginal dryness, I suggest that you prepare yourself to re-apply often or use a lube shooter that will inject an ample portion of lubricant into your vagina that will last at least an hour if not longer. This lube is safe for toys too so mix it up and have fun. There are also "all natural" water based lubricants with four or less ingredients for you tree huggers out there. Mother nature loves you as much as you love her, wink. Silicone I love, Love, LOVE this lubricant as it is great for any and every occasion as well. This slick and sleek lubricant gives you lasting power. Silicone molecules are larger than water molecules so they do not absorb into the vaginal tissue like water based lubricants do. This means there is little to no re-application needed. It is ideal for anal play as the anus does not self lubricate and water based lubricants will absorb into the anal tissue and you will truly need to re-apply as friction is not your friend. Most people who engage in anal play prefer a<b> silicone </font></b>based lubricant and there are many out there created especially for anal play by reputable companies such as Wet, Eros, Trojan and others. I say try going to a site like www.fc2.com and try their lube multi pack to see which one works for you, they always have sales and this way you can try nearly 100 different brands and choose what works for you. Oil based this one is great for you sensual people out there. Oil based lubricants are wonderful for the triple threat. I mean massaging, lubricant and warming. Most oil based lubricants have a warming feature which can really enhance the mood. Some you can rub and they get warm, blow on it and it gets warmer and rubbing vigorously makes it hot, Hot, HOT! If you choose to use this triple threat, make sure that the condoms you use are polyurethane not latex as oil is not a friend to latex and the condom will break. There are several non-latex condoms on the market and I always suggest keeping one or two with you just in case u come across a triple threat. OOH Wee! Carrying condoms can be tricky if you don't want to look like ur a walking pharmacy so try these tricks 2 help you out: One brand condom has discrete condom tins that hold three condoms and a lube disk. It is round so it can easily fit in a purse, pocket, small handbag if ur going out on the town etc. There are also small coin purses that fit condoms and lube quite easily ( who carries change anyways?). Condoms also fit neatly into the small zipper portion on the inside of many purses. Never put them in a phone case near the battery or in a wallet that will be pressed against your hot butt for a number of hours. If you google condom holders you will see a variety of condom holders. I have found an armband that holds a condom and lube. You put it on your arm like your I-phone when you jog and it makes it easy if you jog past someone you want to...well you get the idea. Make it fun so you can have fun making it, wink. Well that is my two, make that ten cent and I hope it was helpful and educational. I have a wealth of knowledge as a relationship therapist and sexual health educator. I just wanted to share some love with you hope it helped. |
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