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I think this was my last segment that got deleted. I will post it and then write a new one today.
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I think this was my last segment that got deleted. I will post it and then write a new one today. Eventually I broke down and bawled my eyes out. What I thought had been the love of my life. The man that treated me like a Queen in the beginning. Then had put me though hell but I survived him. Now it was just Dad and I. There still were issues I had to address, concern Larry. What do with the shop he had that was filled to the brim with machinery and a zillion odds and ends. I had a sale of his big machines and anything else people might have wanted. A lot people showed up and were in awe of the machines he had built for himself but they would never be able to figure them out. I did sell a couple of his big machine, he had bought. As I remember it was about 18K in total sales. A few weeks later one of the men that Larry was friends with and that he had done a lot of work for, came to me and said he would gather about ten men and pull in some big containers and clean out the shop. I can't express how grateful I was to him. When Larry was getting so much weaker they had begged him to let them clean out the shop but he though a fit and it never got done. Oh to regress, I did have a memorial service for him and several people did lovely eulogies about him. I had his ashes and I contacted one of his friends that had a P-51. I asked him to take Larry up for his last ride and shatter him in the Pacific. He was kind enough to do that for me. My house was quiet now and Juanita was still there for Dad and I. I was able to go back to work and make the money to cover my experiences. Dad was getting weaker and harder to handle. He was constantly talking about Mom and how much he missed her. I just told him that I needed him too but it didn't matter. Lifting him to the toilet and getting him into the shower took both Juanita and I hours of back bending work. Dad was alway apologetic but I told him he took such good care of me that it was my turn to care for him. One day Dad mentioned he would like to go into a rest home in Palos Verdes. I didn't pay much attention to that but he continued to talk about it. I called my brothers and asked for their advice. They said it was my call. They both lived in Texas and hadn't been any help at all with Mother and Larry. I was on Adult Dating zone at this time. I had sat down one night and written a profile that was 18 pages long. I tried to write what I could give a man and what I need from him. I had a couple of glamour shots that Larry had taken of me to post. I had no idea what would happen. I set up my profile and was overwhelmed with messages. I would spend hours answering each one. I also was on Match.com and getting a ton of messages there. So I started dating. I was surprised with the calibur of men I met. I was in an interviewing mode myself. I would communical though messaging, Sometimes, exchanging emails and sometimes . I did start meeting men for dinners. Most of the time I would find out that they had in college, or living with them, ect, ect. At the end of the dinner I would tell them that they were wonderful gentlemen but that I wasn't interested and wish them the best with there new searches. I think they appreciated I was honest. I didn't want to waste my times getting called or receiving additional emails from them. For the most part that worked. Dad knew I was dating alot but didn't really know I was on a site like Adult Dating zone or even Match. I think it was June of 2001 when I finally relented and moved day to the facility in Palos Verde. Most every day I wouid spend my lunch break visiting him and sometimes at night also. He was very comfortable there but it was extremely expensive. Dad had money and I paid for that from his account. I let Juanita go but that darling would go and visit him and never asked to be paid for that. She loved him too. Now I was free to make some choices of men I would like to meet sexually. There were a few that I had as friends with benefits. I was so very needy and they rocked my socks off. One was close by and he was an administrator of schools in a particular area. He was bright and funny and a great lover. He use to bring me chocolate chip cookies, laced with Marajuna. They made me insatiable. He was looking for a lady to swing with and he knew I didn't want anything to do with the swing lifestyle. So we just got together as friends. I continued dated like a crazy womam. Dad had lots of visitor from his church that was nearby. That made him happy. Sometimes when I went to visit I would roll him into the rect room and play the piano for him and he would sing along. Many times the room filled up with other people that were more ambutory. Many of them would sing along. The nurse were thrilled when I did that and told me that some of patients in there that sang had rarely even talked. I told the nurses the "music is the the universal language". Dad was always in a great mood and seemed to be fine there. He was still talk about wanting to be with Mom but I would always change the subject. I continued dating and screwing arouind. It was nice to be back to work also. I had missed all my friends there and they had missed me. I had been working part time in the past and deligated alot of my work to others. Now I could handle it all and didn't have to be working off the computer at home. My job now was to find another love in my life. One day in October, a Saturday, I had gone up and had a wonderful visit with Dad. I told the nurses that I had a<b> blind date </font></b>with a United pilot. They were so excited for me and told me to have a real good time. So I got home and took a bath and was ready to meet this gentleman. He arrived and we sat in the living room and we were just chatting. The phone rang and it was a nurse and she said that Dad was slipping and I needed to get up there right away. I was crying and I told Terry what had happen. He demanded that I let him drive me up there. I didn't think I could drive because I was shaking. I relented and he drove me up there. I told him to wait in the lobby and I went to Dad's room and he had passed. I don't think I have ever delt with such saddness. I was hysterical but had to call my brother and my . It's all a blur to me. I did go to the lobby and tell Terry that my Dad was gone. I told him he didn't have to wait and I could take a cab home. He hugged me and said "don't be silly, I will drive you". I guess an hour passed and I just sat with my Daddy. He looked so peaceful and had a slight smile on his face. Guess he met up with Mom. I am not religious but I like to think that happened. Jerry drove me home. He wanted to take me for dinner but I just couldn't think of eating at that time. I had a thousand things running in my brain. It was late when we got home and he walked me to the door and hugged me. Then he said " is anyone going to be with you tonight"? I said no. Then he said "if you have a spare bedroom, could I stay with you, I don't think you should be alone tonight". I finally said he could stay and thanked him from the bottom of my heart. He was so kind and helpful and considerate. He tucked me in bed and told me to get some rest. He then went to the guest bedroom. Of course, I cried myself to sleep but when I awoke the next morning he was gone. Just about the time I woke up, the door bell rang and a beautiful arrangement of flowers were on the door step. They were from Terry with a beautiful note of condolence. It had to have been "the date from hell". LOL I never saw him again but for years I got a card from him on the date of our date. I often think of him and hope some special lady found him. Now I had alot of things to do again. Loosing three people, especially my Daddy....I was not in a good place. My thanks to all of you that read this blog. I can't assure you that it will get more sexual very soon. |
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