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Do I walk the walk?
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Do I walk the walk? Hello bloggers! I was on a posting sabbatical...but I am back! So once again my friend KitKat has smacked me right on top of my thinking cap and the juices got to flowing.....I began to wonder, if I walk the walk as I talk the talk. I just recently parted ways with my FWB.....her choice initially, but I wasn't against the parting of the ways either, I will admit. We had played out this dance a couple times before over the last few months and there seemed to be a lot of drama on her part, though I thought we had established clearly what the boundaries were and she wholeheartedly agreed to at the time...as our FWB relationship evolved....(the sex was truly amazing)....her concept of what our relationship was had evolved as well....she told me she was in love with me.....which is seriously flattering to hear, I would think for anyone, I know it is for me.....but.... Now I am a very sensual man and when I make love to a woman, I do not hold back....there is lust, tenderness, affection and yes, often I fall in love with that person....in the moment. But not in the sense of wanting a full on relationship.....so what does that make me? I feel like I have truly fallen in love many times in my life, but not in the I love you and only you way. My first true loves (one right after the other) when I was very young....broke my heart....both girls left me....and as I look back I realize that it probably would not have worked out in the long run with either of them. But the effects may have hardened my heart to some degree and perhaps not allow me to truly fall in love...but does that really factor in for how I feel now? I have been through two failed marriages....and circumstances steered me into bad decisions along the way, my first just never should have happened....I fell into the White Knight syndrome and tried to rescue someone who could not be rescued. The second evolved around getting pregnant and wanting to do the right thing....we gave it a good try and had some good times, but ultimately we were not happy together, it happens....and so we are moving on. FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM! That is how I feel right now.....free to be me again....free to write<b> poetry....</font></b>it had been suppressed for so long....free to write fantasies....I have a pretty wild imagination and a lot of fantasies on my bucket list....I have only scratched the surface there. Free to live my life as I choose it! So where does that leave me? I am a huge flirt, I always have been....sometimes I act on my flirtations and sometimes I just flirt....I love women! I love the way they smell, I love the sound of their voice and their laughter, I prefer to be in the company of a woman in most any situation. But I don't want to be in a monogamous relationship.....so does that make me a scoundrel? A player? The women I have been with....most of them are still my friends....several of them talk to me nearly everyday, via text or a call and others only occasionally and most of them....when I see them...will smile. I am a lover, when I am with a woman she gets all of me...every time. I tell them how they make me feel in the moment and I mean it....but I always tell them where I stand and I do not lie! So what does that make me? Do I walk the walk...as I talk the talk? I wonder.... A story by Lucius8858 |
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Welcome back.. She has an excellent blog. You do what ever your heart desires.. hugsssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Lucius, Thank you for the compliment of naming me in your post. I have the same problem, I think. I'm not opposed to falling in love, just that's no longer a goal. I want to feel a connection with the person I am with. I do want a relationship, where I can bring my guy around to my family for parties and stuff. But freedom is important, too. If you found you shouldn't flirt, or write poetry, or write your fantasies out, then for sure you should not have been in that relationship. Are you poly? I'm considering going to a poly meet up in my area and see if I connect with those people... *sigh Kk The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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