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| Blogs > bipolybabe69 > "..yes I said yes I will Yes." |
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I had an interesting first meeting yesterday with a guy who connected with me via this site (A*F*F). He said that, in person, I'm "less brassy" and "more thoughtful" than my profile would lead one to believe. I explained that a profile is necessarily brief and incomplete. In my blog I explore the gray areas, the questions I'm still working out for myself and coaching . Sex, communication and relationships are my joy and passion. I am an outspoken advocate for "free love," by which I mean that each of us feels free to choose the love and sexual expression which suit us, without being limited by self or culturally imposed boundaries. (With the exception of the usual suspects: abuse of those who can not give consent.) Here's a topic I'm considering currently: Once bitten, twice shy. As I have written, I have suffered a surprising --to me-- degree of disappointment/pain/loss in ending a relationship with a man who told me from the beginning he was unavailable, thus, The Unavailable Guy (TUG). When I mentioned that a year ago, a friend said, "That's bullshit. He would be immediately available if he thought you were The One." I've felt that a number of times during the past year TUG and I dated off and on. I would get really nervous every time he announced that he might be more seriously interested in another woman he was dating. I expected him to dump me and return to monogamy with the one who really lit his fires, giving him the feeling he did with his soon-to-be ex-wife. I knew his deepest desire was to be with his ex again. And, still, I stuck by him. I did cartwheels and back flips attempting to win his love. Now, I recognize the hook for me about unavailable men. (It's about "winning over Mommy and Daddy so they don't abandon me.") Thus, I need to avoid unavailable men and women and avoid inevitable heartbreak. Or do I? A friend of mine, who is a brilliant life and business coach, told me, "Getting what's so is the first step to transformation." She did NOT recommend simply doing the opposite. In fact, she said that when we respond in reaction to what we've experienced, we are similarly hooked, like a fish running the line in the opposite direction, which simply creates a whole new set of problems. Now I'm taking a different perspective: Be aware of those who seem unavailable and observe my own response. I tell myself: "Do not run, Angie, just because he seems unavailable right now. We all have times when we're available. Or not." I am aware that I'm NOT emotionally available right now. I'm still in the middle of releasing my heart's (and my yoni's) desire to be with someone who does not return my feelings. Or my aspirations for working toward a world where we can all be free to accept and enjoy without hiding our kinks, passions and love.. For you, are there "hooks" where you observe yourself working through particular behavior patterns? {=}{=}{=} BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie |
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I went back three times to someone who I loved and who 'loved" me and each time I ended up leaving. you need what you need. and when the other person makes you second best or not even that....maybe when you're with you, you just question you, it's time to walk. finding someone who thinks you are the moon and the stars is possible... easy? no. possible, of course........ You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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