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| Blogs > secret_lade > Ramblings of the depraved..... |
Today's topic? How did you NOT see that coming??
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I was in my office yesterday when one of the employees appeared in my door, crying, holding a doctors not. "[Employee].... Are you ok?" "I'm depressed. I have so much going on right now, I'm having to shell out so much money, my doctor says I'm depressed...." She went on to tell me she hadn't been able to sleep or eat and cried the whole time. Had this not been the third employee to show up in my office and cry today, I might have actually felt a little something.... Maybe not. This particular employee is a 63 year old woman who had married a 23 year old mail order husband from Tibet. What's causing her depression? You guessed it! As soon as he became an American Citizen he filed for divorce. I sometimes wonder how the rest of the world can see something coming but the people in the moment cannot. This particular woman *looks* like a 63 year old woman with all the aches and pains that come along with being 63. This particular man is a 23 year old man with all the needs and urges that come along with being 23. I'm just going to be honest here.... The woman with the coke bottle glasses who just had bunion surgery on both feet is probably not satisfying those needs and urges. He used her for citizenship. Boss #2 had been in her office and overheard part of the conversation and came over to help me out. Thank God.... Cause my 'Give A Shit' had given out. I sat and listened as she poured her heart out, and really did try to empathize.... But inwardly I kept thinking, you HAD to have seen this coming. There HAD to have been signs and indicators that he was not fully committed to this relationship. You HAD to have known, but chose not to see it. I think I would have felt differently if the situation had been different. What if he had already been an American citizen, would it have made a difference? I'm going to say yes. If they had met organically and there was no lure of a better life in America, I would have been more apt to believe there was a heartfelt foundation to that relationship, age difference and all. I'm definitely not one to judge age difference. My ex husband was 17 years older than I was. We met organically though, and spent 17 years together.... There is one aspect to this whole situation that does pull at my heartstrings. And, that's the aspect that I think she genuinely did commit herself to him. She put her heart into the relationship only to have it crushed when she was no longer needed. Having experienced heartbreak of my own, I can't help but feel compassion for that. Such is life.... Happy Friday!
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