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| Blogs > MysticOrbit > Memoir's of an Ambiphiliac |
It's Ok to be Me... Bi and BBW
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It's Ok to be Me... Bi and BBW Leah Here, just talking to who ever wants to listen ♥ All my life I have tried to be what everyone wanted me to be....which is no way to live..I spent 15 years with a man, gave him my youth, gave him five beautiful , gave him all of me...it was never enough, I was always too 'fat to be attractive' 'too emotional' I was always told 'no one would ever want you' and countless other emotional and verbally abusive gargon and unfortunately I let it be my truth...finally one night I was done, I had read a super inspirational book called Warrior Goddess Training and it helped me start a journey of healing and it gave me the strength to say I was done with him, I was free! Shortly after that I met my amazing husband, he proved to me love at first site was real, he proved to me that soul mates do exist and no matter what, the universe helps us find each other, at just the right time, through maybe even many life times....When we first got together we more open and honest with each other than I think most people...I was bi curious and he was openly bi...I have learned that being 100% open and honest with not only my hubby but myself as well is the only way to get through hard times, and completely and utterly enjoy the good times ♥ It took me awhile to actually believe him when he said he loved my body, as even as a young I was told I was too big, no Leah you cant be a ballerina or a gymnast, your just fat., dashing my dreams at young tender ages, programing me to hate myself and accept that fat is bad...so ya it took me a while to believe my husband, took me awhile to be comfortable with him even laying his hand on my<b> tummy </font></b>while cuddling in bed...so patient and loving, he has healed my heart on so many levels....he has given me the room and the time to heal, while loving me with such a passion I hold back tears when he fills my ears with sweet loving words... So now I am 34, and proud to be a BBW ♥ now I know big beautiful women are not for everyone and that is ok by me, I have found my soul mate who loves every inch of me and tells me I am perfect, I do not need any one else's approval to claim my peace of mind and happiness. This body has created six amazing, beautiful babies, I am so very lucky to hear their voices call me Mom....it hasnt been easy by any means, but it has been oh so worth it, no matter what anyone says ♥ Being a BBW with a lack of confidence, an off the charts sex drive and a huge curiosity for what the world has to offer hasnt been easy. Now that I have the confidence to finally be myself, I can come out and proudly say that yes I am a woman who finds other women beautiful, sensual beings and I have a very strong drive to finally have a full blown sexual encounter with another woman. I have made out with my best friend, who is also a BBW, but I have such a strong bond with her....we also made out while our husbands fucked us in a sweat lodge...it was amazing, we were in complete steamy sweaty darkness, not knowing who was touching us at any given time, but knowing our husbands were on top of us, my favorite moment was when my husband was eating me out, her husband had his fingers inside me while he was also fucking her while she and I were making out...that has been my most elicit time with another woman, besides some curious play as a young ...And this experience has left me wanting more So here we are, on swapfinder with my husband, looking to find some deep connections, make some friends and see where this wild ride takes us...early on we both talked a lot about bisexuality about things we might like to do with eachother, and maybe even others...and I have to say I have never been more excited...I feel while wearing heart on my sleeve I also have a lot of love and friendship to give....I am more sexual and sensual than most women I know, it excites me to think about finding another woman like myself and the love and tenderness that we could give each other, a soft spot to land in a harsh world where no one understands you....ah a girl can dream cant she  So this is my first blog post and wow, it feels good to get this stuff out! I do hope that maybe my experiences can help another on some level, life is too short to live life not being you and feeling awesome about it ♥ and of course there is this part of me that hopes this blog reaches the eyes of that someone like me, I know you are out there ♥ SO happy to be on this journey! Can not wait to spread my wings and experience all that life has to offer ♥  |
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1 post 10/27/2016 2:01 pm |
I love you too Hunny's 
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