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MDMA Exhibition
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MDMA Exhibition I came home late Sunday night after dropping Danielle off home. We went out for a few hours of dumpster diving, after which I was exhausted and morally depleted from a poor night of scavenging for scrap wood. I work late nights so it was still early for me, and coming home to a quiet-empty house, was not how I wanted to end my day. Seemed like a good idea then to lift my spirits with some drinks and a little mdma. A little turned into more, and as I got more excited, and more energy, I wanted more mdma. Around 4ish I think, I joined Chaterbate in the hopes of finding other high energy, fucked up people, willing to talk dirty and show off their sexy online. I started my own live broadcast pretty early on from starting my profile, and slowly got more attention. Mostly from guys, which was weird for me but flattering. I didn't see them, so I didn't care who was enjoying the show. I just saw me being happy and quirky on my cam getting compliments and texts from both sexes, who where enjoying me being totally fucked up and silly. I'm a pretty shy guy when it comes to initiating sex with new partners, general feelings/needs, or making the first move. Afterwords with my partners I get comfortable pretty fast, but I am still learning how to communicate effectively. So have I adapted a little, or gotten more comfortable stepping into that world? I'm still not sure. I'm definitely interested, and it was a lot of fun (despite the occasional embarrassing flashbacks that I get a chuckle from). A lot of naked dancing to edm, while spilling wine and beer on my cock for effect and lube, plus entertaining a few requests...  Part of me wants to get high like that, so I could try it again, but I don't like the idea of relying on drugs to that degree, rather just using it as a lubricant/additive for extra fun once in a while. I've only just started trying out mdma since the summer, and would like to find others who are into it and hard-fast electronic dance. I prefer small doses of mdma and mushrooms through out the night, as to loosing my mind in one big go. Also the last 24hrs I've been getting electrical brain pulses. Every time I thought I was going to drift into blissful sleep, a jolt or shock would pulse through my brain, sometimes accompanied by a noise. Then today at work it was happening every few min but weaker, sometimes multiples in a row, while my lips would start to tingle for a few seconds. I've had it before, but very rarely, and never like this. Maybe one a handful of times a year. Turns out it's slightly common. Most people experience it from lots of<b> anxiety </font></b>in their life, or when they're weening off anti depressants, but some people also get it from doing lots of mdma. Something to do with serotonin in our brains. Since I've never been on anti depressants it's probably the drugs, maybe in combination with everything I'm trying to do/avoiding doing right now that's causing stress. However there doesn't seem to be any research that's it's bad for you, that we know off...so that's good news. Certainly helped me feel better after I couldn't sleep for 4hrs, and then Googled what the hell was going on. Also really glad I was working in a boom lift today, and not on a ladder. I didn't want to have to try to explain to my foreman why I shouldn't be on ladder 😬 |
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