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Walls
Walls Walls written November 27th, 2020 I have built walls rigid strong and nearly impermeable forming this fortress around me, nothing gets in or out. Every sortie against them leaves them a little stronger, and me inside a little more isolated. Over time I have grown into and through my walls safe from a war that is long over. |
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Some poems I just don't know what to do with. This has been in my notebook for months. It goes on for pages with different themes related to walls. I page past it every day in my notebook, and think it needs more organization, some shape, but I don't know quite what, so I page on by. Today I'm posting one version of it. Maybe in the future I will write another poem about walls that feels more complete and finished. I love the last stanza, it was originally: Over time I have grown into and through my walls safe from a war that is long over. It's the same words, but that line break in the posted version, is it me or my walls that are safe? Thanks for reading me!
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Walls are for protection Walls are to divide. Walls can have entrance For you to walk out To let in Walls can go up Walls can come down Walls don't last for ever But shows they been there along time Why are you behind your wall
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It's the walls that keep you safe!!!!
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i agree. the last stanza seems like you and the wall are both safe. it from being affronted and you by the wall which you have become
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In some ways I prefer the original as it seems to be more cleanly segmented. but then the changes you made, perhaps reflect better the idea of growing into and through the walls... (the way it is worded gives the reader the impression of an interweaving). Yes... I think I do prefer the change you made. There is an organic feel to this, on a number of levels. One one hand there is the organic process of a psychological response to external stimuli, as represented by the construction of the walls... And on the other hand there is the organic process of the self as almost tree like, having outgrowths that penetrate and transcend the walls.... Which can be seen and felt in the word placement and word selection. I definitely think I personally have constructed walls... I see myself as a castle on a promontory jutting into the sea... mostly inaccessible by nature... And I do relate to the idea of being such that there are outgrowths capable of reaching out, both to the light in the sky and to the epicenter of external stimuli... I have to say... In some ways I have come to love my walls and structures... Tis better than straw and sticks I think... I checked out that site... AWESOME! *. *. *
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I like the second version. It opens itself to wider interpetation ..im a big fan of double entendres and hidden meanings. Just my opinion but dont take it for granite. Hugs My name is MrWrong and I approved this comment
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