“When i think about you I touch myself...”
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Posted:Jun 7, 2018 9:39 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2018 9:34 am
1773 Views
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I enjoy expressing myself through the written word, and I also enjoy reading. Some of my favorite readings are works of amateurs, people like you and me who aren’t a paid spokesperson and do it because it’s their joy, it has long been a fascination of mine just to muse on the fiction that some come up with, which is why I enjoy reading (and sometimes writing) erotic stories. Truth be told, I’m a bit darker in my fiction than I am with my true life fantasies, which leads me to the statement I wanted to make from the beginning, which is that I am so basic!
It’s true, and I’ll be the first to say so; white bread caucasian conservative from a loving two parent family, nothing was really ever given to me but the opportunities were always there if I wanted them, and I’ve been able to ‘get by’ with the choices I’ve made, in Southern California no less. Fifty one years, but have I really ever lived a single day? I don’t want to go ‘Deep Thoughts’ (Jack Handy) here, but I’ve been thinking it over and it keeps coming back to “If not now, when?” (Jack Kennedy).
Hell, even my own fantasies are pretty vanilla in comparison to the erotica, yet based on the wonders on pornography I know that they exist, and that drives the need in me to know rather than regret. Being a cheapskate non-paying memeber here I feel that expressing these thoughts on a blog is personally a better way for me to reach my target audience instead of spilling all of my beans on my profile page, and then not being able to respond if any inquiries arise, and so we’ve finally reached my point, another list.
The Five On The Sexual Bucket List, list.
No countdown, no particular order, and I pray it is considered normal to have lots more and it not being easy to pick just five, because I’ve been mulling over which direction to take this post for a good minute now, but I have decided that I must first be true to myself. I don’t want to pinpoint my desires because I fear they would limit their destinies, so I thought I would try to explain my most common interests grouped by the people who star in them as well as what the fantasy involves, ...and you’ll probably conclude that I am a bore.
Excluding the previously detailed count of oral copulation, I have zero actual experience with men, and truth be told, I have never really found myself very attracted to the male body, as a whole (insert joke here). But that does not stop my fascination with the erect penis and in actuality, it is said erect penis that has me on this site to begin with, and so homosexual fantasies top the list. Nothing gets me harder than the seduction, the kindly, Father Figure type who is gentle but firm, the touching and squeezing, feeling and tasting, and all that can be involved with exploring the erect male penis.
Which, naturally in my mind, leads to the next group, male couples, and also allows me to expand on the vanilla-ness of my fantasies. Sitting between two lovers with an erection growing in each of my hands is something I have fantasized about since my youth, or perhaps under the bubbles of a jacuzzi, or better yet, a soapy shower, and I fantasize about being involved in all of the foreplay that leads to release, but (at least for now) I would prefer to watch rather than participate if it leads to intercourse.
The transgendered community is an obvious for my fantasy list, and the only thing more sexuality exciting to me than my own hard cock stretching against a sheer pair of woman’s panties is to see another’s. Now, mind you these are my fantasies (both the ‘my’ and the fantasies), and having always been sensitive towards the community and having participated myself, my fantasies start with the pampering and adoration that leads to understanding and friendship, a trust, the sexuality is more in the moment than the actual physical.
Next would be a male and female couple, maybe just looking for a plaything, a special kinky birthday or anniversary gift for a life-long loving couple who may want to play dress-up, or just experiment. I feel bad enough behind the back of my own, so only one side of a couple is of no interest for me, but a bisexual experience between the three of us, just for knowledge and shit and giggles...
You know, if was actually a friend’s dad and his girlfriend, way back when i was still in High school, they were very publicly affectionate and it turned me on!
What do you know? I inadvertently did list my fantasies in order after all, and the previous four just rolled off the top of my head. A female would close out this Bucket List of mine; one thing I’ve discovered about myself as I have aged is that although the modern day twenty-something female is quite a beautiful sight to behold (as is my understanding via pornography), it is the wisdom and grace of the women my age and definitely above who get more of my attention. To be seduced by a Cougar, or even better, (gently) dominated by one, this kinda leads back to my friend’s dad’s girlfriend, again.
Well, there ya go. I want to hold a man’s erect penis, I want to hold two men’s erect penises. I want to be a bisexual play toy and I want to see a beautiful woman get an erection. Then, I want Mommy to take care of me. I guess that’s what it all boils down to when I eliminate most explicit details, but none the less all of the above are just a handful of the things that i still hope to experience, and still remain in the Spank Bank for their potential to finish the job. Now I need a cold shower. Thanks for listening.
Title Quote; I Touch Myself, by the Divinyls 1990
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“...he’s a loser but he still keeps on trying.”
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Posted:Jun 3, 2018 6:22 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2018 5:39 pm
1566 Views
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First post, and what better way to share a little bit about myself than to do the things that I enjoy most, which is to make a list? Yeah, I’m a List Guy, favorite Beatles songs, favorite So.Cal. Locations, that sort of thing, so I thought it’d be fitting to list ten things to know about me, kick this thing off with some full disclosure and maybe have a little bit better of an understanding between writer and reader from here on. Anyway, that’s my thinking, and so, without further ado, here is Number;
10. Born and raised in, and spent my first thirty plus years in the West San Fernando Valley, just north of the greater Los Angeles area of California. Product of the late 60’s as well as the L.A. public school system, older siblings introduced me to popular music at a very young age and music still stands as a very important aspect of my life and who I am, along with (99 honesty and sense of humor.
09. Two events took place in my early teenage years that have truly shaped the person that I am currently; I am not certain which came first nor if they’re even really related, but both can be said to be connected to the me of now, exclusively in the kinks department. I was molested just once as a , and I also discovered how I felt about wearing women’s painties, I think it was all within the same year. Not the same event, which would have screwed me up even more than I am, but the same formidable young age for sure.
08. Painties. Just the word alone, typed out in black and white, still sends that special tingle through my mind of the sheer sexual excitement I have discovered and explored since the day. “The Day” was an early summer weekend trip camping on the beach in Ventura County with family. Found a pastel yellow pair of young woman’s underwear that I immediately stashed to try on that evening, the rest is actually Adult Dating zone history, believe it or not. Those found painties eventually led to crossdressing, shaving my body and chatting as a T here on this website more than 20 years ago.
07. As I mentioned, that same time in my young life I took a ride home from a stranger, and it led to this older man performing oral sex on me in the backseat of his car, in the parking lot of a Burger King. Did not talk about that little incident for a long, long time, but now I have come to the conclusion that it has both caused me to not be able to enjoy blowjobs completely as well as I feel I should, and also to be here ‘in search of’ again. Even in the height of my crossdressing, when I still had the toned body which was shaved from chest to toes and was constantly wearing lingerie and posting photos to my account, back when horny men actually wanted me and I would chat up a pretty hot storm, never did I have the balls to actually follow through and hook-up, and so another man’s penis lives on as just a fantasy that gets me hard every time.
06. I’m sure if pressed, I could come up with a good solid one hundred reasons why I shouldn’t be here, why my profile should not even exist, how I am now in the longest running relationship with a woman who has much more than the average amount of same interests as I, and whom I actually love very dearly and believe I could spend the rest of my life with, yet I am still here searching internally as well as externally to answer questions and solve the mysteries of my feelings and interests. By being here I know I’m currently not being honest let alone fair to the one who is supposed to mean the most to me, but I also realize I’m not completely satisfied in my sex life and through conversation know that my current partner cannot provide needed answers. So, I secretly continue to explore.
05. A fact I find interesting about myself is that anal sex is not really a turn on for me, neither giving or receiving, be it female or male, watching or performing, yet (gentle!) ass play is a part of my deepest fantasies and part of the entire scenario of what gets me hard and leads me to find myself with an account on this site. I don’t rule out the possibility of receiving anal sex some day and have actually performed it with a female, but my current relationship shows no interest and I tell myself that this is fine because I am sneaking behind her back and kind of using it as an excuse to sleep at night.
04. Back in my crossdressing hay-days I wracked up several hundreds of dollars of credit card debt with on-line lingerie stores and cosmetics, which took more than a decade for me to pay off completely. With many years and many moves my collection has dwindled down to a single tote of clothing I only occasionally now ever put on, mostly because I am lazy more than anything else, but the one constant has always been painties. I confessed straight up in the very early days of my current relationship (6+ years now btw) and painties are accepted, which allows me the two drawers full of everything from Granny Panties to tiny thongs, and is part of my daily routine.
03. I consider my personal fantasies to be a lot closer to soft porn Cinamax late night style rather than very hardcore, and with this blog and with this account I hope to share and explore these only fantasized scenes of my sexuality with men, women and the transgendered basically brcause I realized one day that I am more than a half century old and already own many regrets.
02. I’m not so much into anal, yet I am very anal about the ways I want things done. I guess that the bottom line is that I still would consider myself to be quite naive when it comes to anything outside of ‘vanilla’ sex, and the fears of the unknown and neglected to think about consequences both drive me out here and make me want to hide at the same time. This had led me to become overly picky, I think, which is why I’ve never exactly found the person and scenerio to get past mere fantasies and face the unknown. I still hold out hope though, which is why we are here.
01. I’ve always enjoyed expression through the written word and appreciate those who have bothered to read mine, there is something for me in the chosen words that allow me to be so much cooler on line (B.Paisley) and express thoughts my nerves and mouth could never string together verbally, and I extend a welcoming invitation to any and all thoughts my readers my have to communicate in return. I am still trying to figure out this site on a small cellphone and am very limited based on not being a paid member, but I still am excitedly looking forward to sharing more than words (Extreme) with those that are seriously interested.
Well, there’s ten, and this is just the beginning of the next chapter of my life, hopefully. Thanks for reading, and I hope I am able to make it interesting and entertaining enough to be considered again.
Title lyric; Lonesome Loser by Little River Band, 1979
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