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The Final Count Down
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Posted:Jul 11, 2015 1:03 am
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2015 3:05 am
9266 Views
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A small Study In Pistanthrophobia: The Fear Of Trusting Someone.
(Part 2)
If a person is said to be hurt due to someone breaking their trust, they won’t trust anyone too soon. But you’ll always find that a person wishing to trust someone. It is in their nature. It is in all of our natures. If something is once broken, we experiment on finding out how it could be fixed or prevented. And just like every other experiment, we take precautions beforehand so as not to have the whole mission blown in our very face.
The person, let’s call him/her 'Z', warns people off by saying that he/she doesn’t trust them, or they are not expected to be trusted, but deep inside, 'Z' wishes that people challenge his/her defence. That they break down his/her wall and get to the other side.
Why?
Simply because 'Z' wants to be proved wrong. 'Z' needs to know, deep down, that not everyone will break his/her trust. Not everyone would lie and cheat and deceive. The fact that 'Z' wishs something like this happens is proof that 'Z' doesn’t wish to be hurt. 'Z' wants to seal the wounds with bandages of trust and bonds. Bonds that 'Z' wishes never end. Trust that 'Z' yearn that never fail.
The problem that occurs in this wishful thinking is that the chance 'Z' give out is not always the correct chance. There’s a probability of 'Z' getting hurt again. There are often instances when 'Z' trust has been landed on the wrong person.
Why? Why is that 'Z' trust the wrong person again? Does he/she wants to?? Obviously not. To 'Z', the person who hurt him/her the first time is now a stereotype. If 'Z' find someone the same way; talks the same, walk the same, behaves the same etc; 'Z' automatically block the person out without another look. But if a new person enters, who 'Z' know nothing about, 'Z' give it a chance. I’m not saying its wrong, hell I have done it too, but it’s the mindset that counts.
To 'Z', trusting the same type of person involves the same thought process and emotions. But with a different type of a person, it’s a whole new set of emotions and thoughts. The varied subjects and feelings attracts 'Z' into a different universe where 'Z' thinks: If I trust this person, will I be able to seal the gap inside me?
But there is always a chance for this person to be just like always.
They could betray 'Z' and leave or stay.
If they betray 'Z', they live off normally while 'Z' is swallowed whole into their conscience and guilt of: "HOW COULD I ALLOW THAT PERSON IN??"
If they stay with 'Z', then 'Z' would always expect a day when they break their promise and leave, cause that’s what everyone has done till now, haven’t they??
There is never a time when 'Z' can truly feel secure. Because no matter how much you straighten a crumpled paper, there will be creases.
A person who trusts and is trusted are those types of people who always live in fear. The fear of being hurt or hurting someone. Normally those who break peoples trust don’t care much for the other person, but there are some human beings who do. Not all idiots are assholes - Remember that!
And the person who trust, fears of betrayal the most. The betrayal of a person with whom they have been themselves, in their most vulnerable environment; their comfort zone has been evaded and they were the one to let them in.
Then there are those who have been hurt and not being hurt.
Those who have been, live in the fear of being hurt again, because what’s to stop it this time, eh?
Those who have never been hurt will never stay that way. There will come a day when they are hurt; but their fear will be different. They fear, whether they will live through it or not.
So through my thinking, I have come to one conclusion:
No matter who we are, what we went through and who we trusted, we will always live in fear of trusting someone.
It isn’t easy to let people in, not is it easy to get close to someone who lets us in. So if ever you come across with this emotion, trust your guts and move on. Because we’ll always be afraid of something or the other, but the fact that we can still walk with that fear is what makes us strong.
It helps though to know that there are people out there who sometimes do look away from the faults, see the 'beauty' and appreciate the effort...
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Bright Lights
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Posted:Jul 6, 2015 6:51 am
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2015 11:36 pm
8253 Views
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I have a fascination for thunderstorms. Some people like to watch the sun set or the sun raising - I love to watch lightning strike and heavy rain
Maybe because I am myself very temperamental - A storm or hurricane or a volcano in person... I live and love everything very intensely, with passion.
There are no grey areas on my character - but extremes of the same pole.
Love me or Hate me - Take me or leave me ...
Somewhere last Friday very late in London...
P.S. Unfortunately these are the only shots I could save and the last pic it's not mine - but one of my favorites
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7
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We - I - You - They
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Posted:Jul 3, 2015 1:34 am
Last Updated:Jul 5, 2015 7:28 am
6799 Views
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We hurt
We learn
We heal
We live
I love
I ache
I dream
I pray
I hate
You lust
You laugh
You cry
You play
You're lost
They listen
They watch
They hope
They are believers
Random Crap - Thoughts of a turbulent mind
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9
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Age Notes
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Posted:Jun 27, 2015 3:10 pm
Last Updated:Aug 13, 2015 5:13 am
10105 Views
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*The one rule I can break at my age is I think what I think, feel what I feel and if you don't agree that is fine with me. We are allowed to agree to disagree.
*The only thing I'd say is that learning how to forgive yourself for not being perfect is probably a really positive step.
*Kindness is a lovely quality to nurture as you get older. It makes you feel good about yourself.
*Our wrinkles are our medals of the passage of life - They are what we have been through and who we want to be.
*I'm not saying I'm a spiritually perfect person. I'm flawed and contradictory and fraught in many areas. But I'm better. I'm growing, and that's all I really want.
*My age has so little to do with my image of myself because at a certain point, the number just didn't fit how I felt - It has become irrelevant to me. I just don't feel like that number is representative of my spirit, of my energy or anything...
P.S. This is my submission to humorlife virtual symposium, which this month is on the topic of body image Body Count Body ImageImagery Is The Topic For The Ninth Virtual Symposium - Because body image goes beyond the body...
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32
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(Page:)
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“Body Image/Imagery” Is The Topic For The Ninth Virtual Symposium"
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Posted:Jun 26, 2015 12:32 pm
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2015 2:58 pm
5925 Views
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Body Count Body ImageImagery Is The Topic For The Ninth Virtual Symposium
For those new to the virtual symposium: In short, it’s a simultaneous act of blogging. Here’s how it works: Anybody with a blog on this site is welcome to join in. All choosing to participate will create something – an essay, a cartoon, an erotic story, a memoir, a series of one-line aphorisms, an image collage, a photo montage, a poem, or anything else – relating to “Body Image/Imagery.” At a pre-arranged time and date (see below) all participants post their contributions.
Want a better sense of how it works – or just some good reads? Here’s a link to the participants’ list from the eighth symposium: Participants List For The Eighth Virtual Symposium: Food
It's Great FUN!! 
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4
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An Insult A Day, Kills The Soul Like Prey
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Posted:Jun 26, 2015 12:16 am
Last Updated:Jun 29, 2015 2:35 am
6235 Views
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It is said that in the Solomon Islands, killing a tree is not to chop it down from its roots but to stand around if for 30 days and scream insults and ill sayings about it. The tree slowly dies off and people merely carry the dead tree away, having done all this without lifting an axe.
Similarly, a lot of us kill off the mere living of those around us. Every day we sentence them to innumerable insults and ill sayings about themselves, their work or their choice in family and friends. We wish upon such a dark environment that not only do we stop thinking positive, but we make all those around us pessimists too. I’m not insinuating that we all do this on a day to day basis, but we do it almost naturally.
Didn’t like how the stew was made?
“Oh the cook doesn’t even know how to make it. My 5 year old knows ”
Didn’t like the story of the book?
“The person who wrote this doesn’t deserve to be an author. Oh my diary entry makes more sense than this book!”
Didn’t like how your ’s girlfriend dresses up?
“Oh, she dresses like a ! Did you see how short that skirt was? I bet she’s with my only for the money. Gold digger!”
Your partner made a small mistake while doing some work?
“What is wrong with you? Can't you do nothing right? One simple task I had asked you to do, that also you couldn’t do? You’re a loser! Nothing can ever be done right from your hands. Just go... leave it, don't spoil the work I have done so far!”
Many times we forget that our words makes a difference. Maybe not to ourselves, but to the people around us, to whom we speak those words to. On an average, a person is said to insult someone or the other 75% of the time only because they were dissatisfied with what they got in return. At the same time, we too are forced to face insults when something goes wrong by our hands.
Did we do it purposely? No.
Did we mean to dissatisfy them? No.
Did we get a chance to correct our wrong before the insults began? No.
Did you like hearing those insults? No.
So why put another person through something you personally didn’t like being put on you?
Our words or rather anyone’s words have a huge impact on those who listen. Listen not hear. Why? Because listening is much more different than hearing. Listening means to hear those words, imply its meaning and apply them to ourselves.
So if I were to listen to someone saying something ill about myself, I am 100% sure I will think about it later, and truly believe that I may be all those bad things.
Name calling, insults, taunts and verbal abuse all lead to only one thing, and this is low self respect and self worth to a person.
But at the same time, if someone was to compliment, praise or flatter someone else, the person in response would feel much better about themselves and try working much better at making the good better.
Should we praise someone if they did something wrong? No.
We shouldn’t praise them for a mistake, but not insult them either.
Yes, show them they are wrong, but at the same time show them the path to improve. That way they can see that even though they are wrong, there is a way to right it.
Calling a person something bad, doesn’t only reduce your frustration on their will doing, but increases the doubts they have on themselves about their being. If you call me an idiot the first time, I may not respond. The second or third or even the fifth time I may not think much of it, but the sixth time yes, I will. Not because it will only register then, but because it’s been said so many times. Why would someone say it 6 times? If they do, it certainly means that there is something wrong with me. It definitely means I can do nothing right. There you go. Self doubt created.
Do you know what will happen to that one tiny seed of self doubt? It will nurture into a big tree of self doubts and worthless thoughts such that the person will never think anything positive things about themselves. If someone happens to genuinely praise them, they will not believe them and think that they are up to something or require something. The tree will not shrink, nor will it ever “chop down”. It will be there. Always. Standing tall and ready to cast a shadow at all the praises and compliments that make its way through.
The only way the tree will “die” is the Solomon Islands way. Consistently feed it good words, praises and compliments. Keep positive people around, and maybe, just maybe, will the tree shrink and hide away.
But will it surely? No guarantee. It depends on how deep the roots sowed.
As they say; taller the tree, deeper its roots reach. A person with self doubt is withdrawn, acts without question, answers without reason.
He or she may dig up a hole for themselves and live a lonely life with no friends or family, creating a bubble that they think is safe. Or they might not even step aside, instead they might stay with you, eat with you, laugh with you and even smile with you; but in their mind a constant notion of “Am I enough? Am I right? Am I loved? Am I liked? Am I wanted?….” rings around much like the rings around Saturn.
Did you mean for the person to become like this? I guess not. But they did, and now the only way to bring the person back is to reverse what you did in the first place.
Doing what must be done, may help or may not help; but its risk well taken anyway.
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6
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Star Lust
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Posted:Jun 24, 2015 1:19 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2015 12:27 am
5853 Views
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This post is dedicated to my best friend that passed away last November victim of leukemia and would be 48 years old today - We both love M83
Holes in the sky
Arms to the ground
Far from the rivers
Grace in our tears
High on a fever
Somebody heal me from my pain
I'm reaching closer
My stars have lowered
Filling up lost memories
Holes in the sky
Pierced by the fire
Somebody tell me this is real
Hands to the sky
I am a dreamer
We build the hope
We are believers
Somebody free me from my chains
I'm reaching closer
My stars have lowered
Filling up my memories
Holes in the sky
Pierced from the fire
Somebody pull me from the dark
Arms to the ground
Far from the rivers
Somebody heal me from my pain
Hands to the sky
I am a dreamer
Somebody free me from my chains
P.S. I Love you!
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4
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22nd June - No Panty Day
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Posted:Jun 22, 2015 12:29 am
Last Updated:Aug 13, 2015 5:14 am
5629 Views
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Have been reminded by a fine blooger - The Chocolate Ninja!! - that today is No Panty Day.
Anyway, any day is a good day to do not wear them - but I guess that some people need an excuse...more than others...
So Happy No Panty Day !! 
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5
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“Bone of Contention.” - The Wrong Defence
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Posted:Jun 21, 2015 3:35 pm
Last Updated:Jun 28, 2015 2:06 pm
5407 Views
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So let’s try to get the facts right:
Men ARE stronger than women.
Men DO more labour work as compared to women.
Women ARE weak
Women ARE the only ones who cry
Man DON’T cry.
Man NEED to intimidate others to show they are strong.
Gays ARE an abomination.
Trans genders DO NOT exist, they are only confused human beings.
If a person is rap3d, it is the VICTIM’S fault, and not the rap1st’s.
Society is RIGHT to teach “don’t get rap3d...” instead of “Don’t rap3”
Women MUST pay their to-be-husbands a dowry so they can take care of them.
Women must be sexually mutilated, so their to-be-husbands are sure they will be the only ones enjoying
Fat women DO NOT deserve love.
Cancer patients ARE ugly with their bald heads.
Black people ARE slaves.
Gamer girls DO NOT exist. They are wannabe's.
Writers are JUST people who were too lazy to get a degree or a job.
JUST STOP!
Arghhh!!!!!
Bullying anyone for who they are, what they are and how they wish to be seen is absolutely ridiculous.
I DO NOT believe in any of the things I have said above, in fact I am against EVERY thing I have ever said.
Men and Women BOTH are strong in THEIR own ways!
ALL humans cry. Period
Love IS Love. I doubt your sex organs has any affect when it comes to matters of heart and compatibility.
Be who you WANT to be. BE who you ARE! Everyone else is already taken.
RAP3 IS RAP3. (DEFINITION OF RAP3: Rap3 is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration perpetrated against a person without that person’s consent. )
Women are human beings.
THEY do not NEED to sell themselves or anything. They ARE not a burden.
They have the RIGHT as much as men to enjoy and have sexual pleasure
Size of body shouldn't matter. Because one CAN change their look but not their personality.
Sickness is not “beautiful”.
Survivors ARE strong and beautiful.
Colour of skin DOES NOT define your status.
Games weren't meant to be a subject of sexism.
I’m a woman in permanent pursuing of Happiness!
I write because I like to write,
I have sex because I love the intimacy that merge between souls
...and its my way of “letting go”...
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1
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Welcome!
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Posted:Jun 21, 2015 12:43 am
Last Updated:Jun 28, 2015 12:18 pm
5130 Views
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Today's specials are:
Lack of sleep...
Up to early and low in patience...
Thank you!
Please come again...
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2
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Why, wHy, whY?!?
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Posted:Jun 21, 2015 12:37 am
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2015 12:23 am
5001 Views
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A small study In Pistanthrophobia: The Fear Of Trusting Someone
(Part 1)
Trust is often misleading. We trust those who deceive us at every step, and tend to fear to trust those who have only helped us in our paths.
I often wondered why.
Why is it that we seek attention from people who seem to not care, and never care about those people who spend every second of their attention on us?
Why do we worry about being hurt when we are hurting someone else?
Why are we unable to think or pursue the thoughts of people whom we have hurt?
Why are we so selfish when most of us announce that we indeed are selfless?
All I heard in my head was WHY??!
I kept thinking and I still do at night. We humans have a knack of choosing what we cannot attain.
We keep aiming for the impossible, and during this race towards the unknown, we often… actually, we always… miss the possible. For us, trusting is a challenge. No matter what has happened before, whether it was broken or kept forever, we will always test anyone and everyone on whether they really do deserve our trust or not.
During that analysis, we set boundaries. Boundaries that are defined by the factors that actually play no role whatsoever in trusting someone. We lay off boundaries based on how the person interprets what we say, how they seem to be after hearing what we had to say and what the person decides to respond back to what we just said.
What people fail to realize is that sometimes we say what we never intend to, and understand something we never wished for.
For example, a simple “hi” can be interpreted in many different ways. The interpretation depends on the tone of the voice, the emotion of the speaker, the gestures of the person, etc. So trusting or not trusting someone on how they respond or talk to us is actually and quite frankly baseless.
( to be continued...)
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PISTANTHROPHOBIA
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Posted:Jun 19, 2015 7:49 am
Last Updated:Jun 28, 2015 12:17 pm
5142 Views
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- Fear of trusting people due to past experiences with relationships gone bad...
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4
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To link to this blog (Seraphim13) use [blog Seraphim13] in your messages.
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