Playing Third....
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Posted:Nov 4, 2016 10:45 am
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2016 11:18 pm
1961 Views
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I have only recently opened up to the possibility of joining a MF couple as their third in the bedroom. I am not totally sure why I didn't want it earlier, or what changed my mind. (except perhaps the thought that widening the net might get me what I need sooner)
I honestly think I am a great candidate for a couple looking for a straight male to join them. If the breathtaking average-ness of my profile pic isn't enough to convince (or scare) you, here are some of my other thoughts.
As a cheating married man, I understand and accept a few things:
1. Relationships are important, and care needs to be taken against damaging them, and this responsibility extends to me as a third to not risk harming the relationship I'm coming into. There are rules here that don't apply to one-on-one cheating. I won't do anything we aren't all comfortable with, no matter how much one of members of the couple wants me to.
1b. Rules are important. There is nothing worse than trying to play a sport or a game with someone who refuses to learn, accept, or follow the rules. Bedroom games are no exception and the stakes are higher. today who didn't spend summers and afternoons running around the neighborhood with other have a hard time playing games or sports without supervision. They haven't developed the skills and practices necessary to negotiate and agree on rules, or the self control to follow them when they could cheat, or the trust to believe that the others won't cheat. I hope we all have these skills and traits. We need to set our rules, and obviously, the couple has a two-to-one vote, but I have to have input too. Having and following good rules will make the game more fun for all of us.
2. Desire is important. Lust, wanting and ‘wanting to be wanted’ are vital ingredients to good sex. I am not going to show up just to get myself off, I am not going to show up just to get you off. Some level of mutual interest has to be there, if not, why bother? And as a husband who has considered sharing my wife, I understand that there is a thrill, an excitement, a high, in knowing that your wife is desired by others. I can understand how this would go far enough for some men to want to share their wife with other men. (other women are a whole different story) If I didn't think I could understand this, I would not be willing to join. And as I can understand and respect how a healthy, loving, secure attached couple could be okay adding a third, I need some understanding and respect for my situation.
3. Sex is important. Marriage is made for sex. Both partners should be getting what they want and need sexually, and if they agree that additional partners should be a part of that, awesome. Understanding that the best lovemaking is based on the deep emotional bond between spouses doesn't mean that you can't have awesome, wild, crazy fucking, with little or no emotional investment, both in and out of the marriage bed.
4. Safety is important. I am clean, DDF, and careful. I can't take certain risks that might come back into my house, so safety, caution, and discretion are guaranteed from me, and required from you. There are certainly some exceptions, but I don't think most people ‘in the lifestyle’, swingers, swappers, or other three-way adventurers want this part of their lives to be public, or out in the open. Privacy, discretion, and safety don't mean shame or wrongdoing.
5. Looks are important. (but not most important) I am very average and non-threatening. I understand that I will be passed over frequently by couples looking for a ‘hot young stud’ or a BBC. That's cool, shop around, find what you're looking for, good luck! But I think in some cases it might be a plus that I will be acceptable to both but I'm not going to be an image of obsession for her (or him) afterwards (or if I am, it will be my skills, not my frills that leave an impression, more on that later) For myself, I am not expecting (but would be delighted) to be invited to join a pair of 10s as their third (again, if it happens I promise not to be intimidated) but I couldn’t join a couple where either partner was a total turn off to me. I have thankfully moved past the mistaken notion that physical appearance equals sexual utility. That attitude only applies to R-rated girly magazines. I think AAG, is much more important in bed. Aptitude, Attitude, and Gratitude. I try very hard not to judge or rank people compared to others, so please understand this is a hypothetical example, a thought-experiment: If I were presented with two women, the first physically being a perfect 10, and the second being a solid 2, but I somehow knew the 10’s AAG was 5,2,0 but the 2’s AAG was 2,8,8, I would find Ms. 2 more desirable than Ms. 10. For me, there is something beautiful about every woman, even a 1 has something to work with, but there are some cases 0s or disqualifications, where some personal preference of mine, (I always believe it is truly a ‘me not you’ thing) makes someone physically/visually undesirable to me. As far as AAG, they go from least to most important, and they can all improve, Aptitude most easily in most cases.
I am sure I've said too much, I usually do that when I get writing, but I hope it gives you something to think about.
I love and respond to comments here, and if I am online, I'm probably on IM, even if I'm AFK.
Good Luck, Have Fun, and ALWAYS, Be Safe!
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