Time travel
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Posted:Jul 21, 2010 6:00 pm
Last Updated:Jul 22, 2010 5:02 am
1627 Views
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Boy I sure wish I could travel in time! This week seems to be almost gone already and I've yet to accomplish my goals of seeing my friends.  I've had my lazy moments but somehow I've managed to keep myself occupied throughout the daytime. Wouldn't' it be great if we could travel around in time? Even if it were limited to within our own lifetime, I think it would be fun. I sure as hell would go back and tell myself to quit a certain job and stay in school! It would be even better if we could jump places too as in the movie Jumper. Just pick a place you want to go and then be there. As a I went to Europe during the summer and I'd love to go back again. There were so many neat things we saw but just didn't have enough time to explore. I've never been to Italy and it's one place on my bucket list I want to go. There are also many places here in the US that I want to explore. I want to go back to New Mexico, Washington State, Maine etc. One time I figured out just how many states I've been to and I think it tallied up to 27 or 28. That sure leaves a lot of exploring to do. So if you could travel through time and space, where would you go?
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Wishing I could help
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Posted:Jul 21, 2010 6:34 am
Last Updated:Jul 22, 2010 4:53 am
1804 Views
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The other day, I got to speak with one of my past girlfriends. I'm mentioned her before in several of my blogs and I still feel deeply for this woman. She is married and had two beautiful daughters. The eldest is now in college doing great. Her youngest passed away two years ago. I guess it was five years ago or perhaps six now that she herself survived breast cancer. When she got sick, thing changed for us in our relationship. Even after we split up, we had remained very close. When she got sick, she made numerous comments about it taking away part of her womanhood and made her feel less than adequate. For me, just surviving the ordeal puts her in a winner category to me!
Just over two years ago, her youngest (6 days before she turned 14) got sick. They took her to her pediatrician for a swollen stomach who immediately sent her to a specialist hospital for tests to be run. She was diagnosed with having Stage IV Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Tumor cancer. This is one of the rarest forms of cancer to be found in . This was in July of 2007. After all sorts of treatments, she passed away on April 1st, 2008. My birthday...
The loss of a is something hard for me to even imagine. I really don't think you can ever get over the loss. Yes you need to find a way to continue going forward but that pain I don't think ever leaves. This is the pain my dear friend still suffers. She says that today she is only just existing. She keeps herself occupied with all kinds of activities and charities. She even started a foundation in her daughters name to help raise awareness and funds for childhood cancer research. She says that she doesn't have any real happiness and that all she is doing is biding her time till she sees her again.
It saddens me because I can do nothing to fix the issue. I can give all the support and love imaginable but I think happiness comes from within and not the outside. You can give her all the reasons to stay alive and be apart of life but if all you want to do is go through the motions, I don't much call that living. I look at my own depression and feel sorry for myself because I don't have the job I want or the financial security my family needs. I find gratitude helps to keep my mind from telling me terrible things. I will continue to show love and support for this friend but I pray she can still see the good things that are still in her life. I hope she can find away to begin to enjoy life again instead of just being a leaf blowing in the wind. I also hope that none of us ever have to face these same fears and losses she has.
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Need to Know
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Posted:Jul 19, 2010 5:44 pm
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2010 5:33 am
1910 Views
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This past year, my mom who is getting up there in years, bought her very first home! She is totally excited and loves her new place. I must admit that I'm rather jealous of her new home. Now when she was married, the homes we were in were in my dads name and not hers. None of these homes were ever brand new. Her lifelong goal was to be in a new house built to her specs. My sister and I had convinced our mom it was time to move to Texas and move in with my sister and her family. All was settled when my mom runs into a banker lady that throws a notion out there for her. To make a long story short, this woman finds "Grant" money that not only enabled her to put money down on a NEW home but got her into that new home in less than two months!
As it turns out, there are lots of Grant money that out government pays out to those qualified to receive it but it isn't always easily obtained. The best part is it's Grant money and not a loan so there is no repayment required. The bigger problem is finding the proper channels to obtain the grants. There are grants for new home buyers as well as grants for home improvements. There are many things my home needs such as insulation in the attic to new windows that could help to reduce our energy consumption. I'd love to find who and where I need to go to apply for these grants. If you are familiar with this, please help shed some light for the rest of us?
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Miss my Lil Guy
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Posted:Jul 17, 2010 1:32 pm
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2010 2:40 pm
1596 Views
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Since my little man isn't coming home for another week, it's time I went to see him. Be back in a few days. He and his mom have been gone for the better part of two weeks. Mom came home for a work function but left the boy out of town. SO In spite of my busy schedule this coming week, I'm taking off to go see him. Have fun till I get back.
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The Results are all in!
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Posted:Jul 15, 2010 12:37 pm
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2010 2:39 pm
1975 Views
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Fantastic news today!!!! The results are in and the wife came back with NO CANCER as a result!! This takes a major load off my shoulders. I saw my doctor today and the minor symptoms I'm complaining about can all be attributed to my diabetes so I'm now feeling a bit more assured that things will be fine. She did recommend doing one more test that I'm not so sure of doing as she has already put my mind at rest but we'll see...
Have a GREAT weekend everybody. Mine sure is starting off great!!!
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Biting nails
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Posted:Jul 14, 2010 6:47 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2010 12:33 pm
1666 Views
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Well tomorrow morning, the wife comes home for her doctors appointment. This will be the on going follow-up to her MRI and the lumps found in her breasts. I have on purpose been trying not to think about it this past week as all it does is stress me out. I am staying positive and hoping everything comes back negative. I also hope he will finally REMOVE the lumps tomorrow!
On a coincidental note, as my wife sees the Mr Doctor, I'll be at his wife's office as she is MY (and my wife's) Primary care physician. Yes, both husband and wife are doctors with different specialties. So while my wife sees him, I will be embarrassing myself in front of HIS wife.... Joy Joy Joy... NOT!
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So what really is Love?
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Posted:Jul 14, 2010 9:53 am
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2010 10:15 pm
1882 Views
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So what really is Love?
Is love that feeling you get when you see that person that makes your head turn back for a second look? Is it the feeling that you can't live without that person? When you see that person fro the first time, you get butterflies in your stomach and it's difficult to reach out and talk to them? Do you get a friend to introduce you? Perhaps it only comes after you have been dating for a while that you make the decision you want to spend the rest of your life with this person.
I think this all can be a part of being in love but I really don't think it is true love. For me, I think it's the simple things that real love stand out. It's the small sacrifices we make such as waking up at 5am to drive to your girlfriends house with a Diet Coke that she craves on her morning drive to work at 6am. Even though you don't have to wake up for work until 7:30. Sure some people might call that stupid but she smiles every time you show up. It's the unexpected gift of flowers delivered to her work for no other reason than because you miss her as you are out of town for business. It's flying in after being away for two weeks to find a home cooked meal of your favorite food. It's seeing a movie that totally doesn't interest you because it what she wants to see and NOT saying a negative word about the movie.
This too I think is the start of real love but I think it goes deeper than that. I think real love is when you are scared, your partner is always there to comfort you. When times are good, you are happy and celebrate together. More importantly, when times are tough, you are grateful to have this person by your side as you walk through the rough spots together. When you walk into a room filled with beautiful people, your first thought is "I wonder what the wife is doing at home and why isn't she here with me." I think true love is being so angry with your partner and NOT leaving. It's finding that middle ground to be both loving and supportive of your partners dreams and desires.
I know this is only a small beginning to what I believe is real love but I think you understand what I'm talking about with the small things. Love isn't how big your house is that you live in. It isn't in the type of car you drive or the clothes you wear on your back. Love is more about how you treat others and even how you treat yourself. I was once told by someone I respect that when you are in love and have a family, you give up your own desires for your family. I can only partially agree with that statement. Sure we as parents give up things for the sake of our but you can't loose who you are in doing so. Love is accepting my partner and myself as we are this moment. All of us both good and bad. If I am with a person and all I keep saying is "If only she would...." then I'm no tin it for love. I can't change anyone to be who I want them to be. I have a hard enough time changing who I am. I'm not the man I used to be and I'm still not the man I want to be but I sure hope I'm better than I used to be.
Take the time to stop and tell that someone special you love them. Do something out of the ordinary today but don't tell anyone or expect anything in return. See what happens.
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Just wrapping up
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Posted:Jul 13, 2010 8:03 am
Last Updated:Jul 14, 2010 6:23 pm
1591 Views
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It's been a short week so far but a busy one. Lots of things to finish before I take off from work for a while. Saw the Doctor yesterday and received good news about the foot. He was approving of the progress I've made thus far and has given permission to begin walking on the foot again. I still need to use the crutches but I can gradually lesson their use. Don't be stupid and over due thing but in four weeks time I should be back to no crutches and no boot.
On the diabetes side, since the new medication changes, I've seen far more consistent lower readings of my sugar levels. This too makes me happy. I know I can't get rid of the diabetes but I do hope to alter it enough to someday stop taking medications. It's too soon to know for sure but I DO NOT want to be told I have to start doing insulin injections come September when the next round of blood work gets done.
I'd like to say I was planning something special with my time away from work but due to doctor's appointment, I'm staying close to home. I may take the weekend away but who knows. It's funny... When you take time off, you like to spend it with friends but they are all working so it defeats the purpose. Perhaps I'll take myself to a few matinee movies while I'm off and catch up on a few I've been wanting to see. Hope all of you are having fun during this summer time.
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It's Friday
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Posted:Jul 9, 2010 4:42 am
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2010 1:18 pm
1586 Views
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This week seems to have just flown by. I don't know what happens to the time anymore. The rain hasn't been much fun but at least we aren't swimming yet. I think my part of town has received 12 inches of rain this week! I think we might make it out of the drought we were having. Too bad it all has to come at one time.
Next week, I have some more follow-up appointments but the one I am holding out for the most is my wife's doctor appointment. She goes back in on Thursday to find out the results of her MRI. We both are hoping they will finally remove the lumps. Cross your fingers. I think she is more relaxed than I am. I just don't want anything to happen. I'd have a hard time making it if something did.
Next week I finally get some time off. I've been pretty blessed that work has been accommodating me with my foot issue but I'm looking forward to a bit of relaxing. I'm hoping to get together with some friends and even perhaps meet some new friends with my new freedom. I don't think I'll leave town until the following week. So what would you do with a bit of free time?
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How Rude!!!
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Posted:Jul 8, 2010 6:40 pm
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2010 5:16 am
1740 Views
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With head held in shame.....  
After reading one of my favorite blogs tonight, I was sadly reminded of another of those moments in time and space that you wish never happened.
When I wen tin for my Doctors visit the other day, I spent 3 hours having all sorts of test done and communication with the Doc about my diabetes. His nurse that was assisting him, was a very nice and pleasant older lady. She had a good presence and humor about her that helps to make patients feel more comfortable. At least she made me feel more comfortable.
This place was freezing cold and after being forced to remove my socks and shirt, after about an hour of this, I was just ready to leave. I had just had part of my chest shaved for an EKG they ran and it was time to leave. The nurse gave me my boots so I could finish getting dressed. The table was rather high off the floor so there was no easy way to put my boots back on. You can imagine me sitting on the edge of a table doing a modified crunch to get this boot back on. As I'm in this crunch position with my abdominal muscles tightened, Mother Nature POPS her head out and a very audible TOOT come out!
Needless to say, I was quite a bit embarrassed. I state rather shocked as there was NO warning this was about to happen; "Damn... Mother Nature is being Rude today." My nurse who earlier was complimenting me upon how manly my chest was and how she liked the hair I was complaining about, said... "Honey if that is the worst that happens today, I think we will be just fine."
So this I'm sure is NOT what any of you expected but what the hell. It's my blog and I can write anything i want too. Embarrassing or not.
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Is it good or bad?
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Posted:Jul 7, 2010 7:32 pm
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2010 12:52 pm
1679 Views
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Well today was my follow-up (actually first visit) with my Endocrinologist. I spent a long time at his office. Some of the positive news is my heart is good. After an EKG, all appears to be normal. There was no point in doing a full on blood work as it's simply too soon. On a positive note, my AC1 number dropped from 12.0 to a 9.8 in four weeks time. The doc says that change is do almost entirely on my better diet habits. I'm happy about that.
When we first started talking about my medicines for diabetes, he strongly advised that I probably needed to start taking insulin injections. That wasn't a good start in my book. I'm not looking forward to that. He switched his tone a bit and said we will work with the pills for the next few months and see how things improve. As my brother already told me, he added additional medication. One to tell my system to make insulin and one to tell my body what to do with it. If after three months, then perhaps I'll have to visit injection drugs.
The positive things I have already begun are praised and will have to be continued if I want to stay ahead of my diabetes. I'm keeping a positive outlook and I am striving to keep the better eating habits up. I have one more appointment set up for next week with a dietitian so that should be interesting to find out what all new information she will have for me.
As for my surgery, I'm hopefully one week away from being off crutches and five weeks away from being able to ride my motorcycle. As much as I want this past me, I'm not rushing anything. I'll do what it takes to make this thing get better. Who wants to let a bike drop because I can't hold her up? Then I'd be right back where I started from.... The pain is minimal at this point. I may be shouting a totally different story when I start to bear full weight on it but for now, I'm still remaining positive and hopeful that all will transition without much misery. I am a tad concerned about the swelling there still is and some strange nerve issues I'm having but I'm putting those issues in the hands of the podiatrist.
In all, to answer my own question of is it good or bad, I'm thinking it's all good. Progress is being made and I'm only seeing better things ahead. Thanks for reading.
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5
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Can it be true?
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Posted:Jul 6, 2010 9:00 am
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2010 7:23 pm
1826 Views
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Apparently we have some Sex Gods and Goddesses on this site. More power to them but I really have to question what is said.
There are those on here that claim to be able to last for hours upon hours prior to having their first orgasm. (Men that is) These same men claim to be able to make ANY woman squirt. They claim to be able to satisfy any woman's desires with nothing more than their dicks.
I'm sorry but I'm just NOT one of these men. And frankly if I were of the opposite sex, that type of bragging and total Bull Shit would be a total turn off. Respect goes much further in my book.
I have never claimed to be a great lover but I do claim not to be a selfish lover. In my 20's, to claim the ability to have sex for hours was NOT an exaggeration. Was I able to outlast my partner and go for hours without an orgasm? Hell NO! Was it a playful game to make my partner cum as many times as I could prior to me having my first orgasm? HELL YES!!! I think her having three was as far as I could go before I was ready to burst. Those orgasms for her however came through foreplay and not me penetrating her. By the time I finally did push inside, I was totally ready to explode. Once my first orgasm was done, I knew it would be much longer before the next one.
Making love was never about ego or self glorification about my manhood. Sure we had nights were we gave it our all to see how many we could both obtain. Not once did that ever take away what the total experience was about. The only reason we were able to make love over and over and over and over was because we loved each other. We wanted to be with the other person and all we desired was to be able to please each other. As a result, we both won. It was never some race to be finished.
For all these claims of sexual perfection, I'm not saying it isn't true but it leaves much to be suspected. If ou see me and are looking for perfection, than I'm sad to say you will be disappointed. If what you seek i sa man who will give of himself to be with you then you are looking in the right place. I'm not one to throw myself out there for the sake of having sex but even in friendships you will get all of me. The good and the bad. The perfect and the imperfect. I accept you as you are so accept me as I am.
Have fun all.
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Update
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Posted:Jul 2, 2010 11:47 am
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2010 9:43 am
1655 Views
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There isn't much new information yet but this coming Tuesday will be the MRI cancer screening for my wife. We are both staying optimistic that we get good results. We will still have the matter of the found lumps that still need to be removed. When she goes back to her doctor to get the results back, she will request he then remove the lumps. I'm just hoping this process doesn't take any longer than things already have.
I saw the doc yesterday for my foot and he says things are recovering fine for now. I still can't place any weight on it and I have no plans on doing so until I see him again. That means 10 more days of walking around on these crutches. I'm being told that it will probably hurt like heck when I finally do start putting it down but I will be very happy to see the crutches leave. They have far out lasted their welcome.
It's raining like crazy out there and I'm ready to get on the road. I hope all of you have a safe and happy holiday weekend.
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