What the?????
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Posted:Apr 3, 2010 2:31 am
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2010 4:00 pm
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Alright... This sucks!! Allergies/cold/WTF...... has taken over my body and I don't like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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In Memory of
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Posted:Mar 31, 2010 7:37 pm
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2010 1:14 pm
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Two years ago on April 1st marks the day the world lost a wonderful 14 year old girl named Taylor. She was the of one of my dear friends. She died of a rare childhood stomach cancer. A foundation as set up in her name to help raise funds and awareness of all forms of childhood cancer. It has been a difficult road for her mom and dad and surviving sister. If you feel so inclined, please remember Taylor and her family in your prayers.
Thanks 
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Different points of view.
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Posted:Mar 31, 2010 4:06 pm
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2010 2:49 pm
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I do'nt know what made me thing of this today but it all popped back into my head. My boss and I were having a conversation today and apparently, I'm not the only one who is questioning things. Everyone seems to be having the same conversation but all having different points of view.
The situation that popped into my head was this. Years ago, when i first met my wife, we got engaged. Perhaps it was a bit soon but who cares at this point. We had been seeing each other for a while and she was going through some really stressful things personally. She decided we should break up.remain friends but split up dating and call off the engagement. During her breakup speech, she stated she would marry me some day. (I guess she was right)  We agreed to be friends and still speak to one another.
A couple of months pass by and all of a sudden, she has changed her phone number. I'm traveling for a living 100% of the time so I was upset but I managed to work through my own issues. As it turned out, the split was a good thing.
About a year later, I get a call out of the blue. I recognize the number that came on my pager. As I dialed the number, it started to ring. Just as I figured out it was her and I was going to hang up, she answered. DAMN! I thought...
To make a long story short, she wanted to have lunch together the next time I came back home. I agreed and we met on a Thursday afternoon. I drove straight from the airport to meet her for lunch. We we sat down, what she really wanted to do was make amends for how she treated me and other things like that. It worked out well for both of us. I made mine and she made hers.
At one point in the conversation, she accused me of stalking her! When she said this, I could not help but start laughing. Apparently, my laughter didn't go over so well and she got upset. When she asked why I was laughing, I said... "Let me take you back to the day we broke up" As we were closing our breakup, I specifically asked... "May I call you from time to time?" Of which her response was "Yes. I'd like that."
So how is this stalking??? (Get a clue... It's NOT)
At that point, she started to smile and all was well again. What I'm getting at is that I find it so funny how two people can have the same conversation talking to one another and have two totally different perceptions of what is said. I guess there are times I should restate comments to make sure we are on the same page. I still laugh when I think about that time on our life. I wish we were always on the same level. Perhaps we might even have less misunderstandings if we were.
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Birthday Blues
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Posted:Mar 30, 2010 2:28 pm
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2010 8:56 pm
1581 Views
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Stupid ME!!!! It just dawned on me why my mood has been so funky this week... It's my birthday on Thursday and it never seems to fail. Every year right around my birthday, I go through a mild funk.
I don't mind growing older as I sort of like it. I can see backwards and see all that has happened to me and be amazed as what I have done. I don't think I've done anything very spectacular but then others might. I've faced a few demons in my lifetime and in spite of myself, have managed to survive. I do'nt take credit for that either by the way. Grace has been very apparent in my life.
I also look back and see my past failures and even current failures. I criticize myself and decisions I've made. I try not to beat myself up but I do it anyway. I don't really beat myself over poor decisions as much as I hate the things that I can't provide at the moment. At my age, I feel I should be past some of the petty issue I face daily. I wonder why it is I can't seem to get past this spot in my life. What lessons is there for me to see I'm not getting. I also don't much look at my own desires but how can I make improvements that will improve the quality of life for my family.
If I can make my families life easier then I feel I have done something good. I find joy in their happiness. The same can be said about my sexual partners in my life. If I can make her happy, I'm happy. I find much reward in making others feel joy. Since most of what I see or hear are complaints at home, this too adds to my messed up mood. I know these feelings will pass but why do they always come around at a time when I should be celebrating?
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How much do you tell
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Posted:Mar 30, 2010 2:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2010 2:45 pm
1469 Views
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The other night I read a blog from one of my friends here and it talked about her desires, privacy and respect. There were other issues talked about as well but it really got me to thinking about how much do I really tell.
Much of my life is an open book. All you need to do is ask or get me to relating to a particular conversation piece and I'm off to the races. I like talking about both general knowledge and applied knowledge. I prefer applied as it's based upon fact and has been achieved by me. There is still that part of my I won't talk about. I'm not trying to hide anything but I do'nt like to tell all my secrets. I keep my desires to myself. Not because I'm ashamed or embarrassed by them but I feel they are more private and intimate desires. I only share these things with people I feel very close and safe too.
Call it self preservation, privacy or being plain scared. Perhaps it might be a bit of all three. I'm not sure. I know fear has a play in this but that is one of the joys of the Internet. I don't have to tell all.
How much to you keep to yourself. Why is it that you do'nt share your desires or even give me a reason why I SHOULD share mine? Who knows what door or window of opportunity I may open up if I revealed more about me.
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Another year over
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Posted:Mar 26, 2010 6:30 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2010 10:45 am
1703 Views
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Well that time has come again and another year has passed me by. It's funny as a , birthdays seemed to be so far away. We couldn't grow up fast enough. Now that I'm an adult, the years keep ticking away and nothing seems to slow it down. There is never enough time to accomplish all we want to do. I turn 44 in a few days and boy am I hating it. There is so much that I wanted to accomplish this past year and as I look back, I have not come that far..  Perhaps I can make a dent in my goals this year. Better yet... Perhaps I should throw out ALL my past goals and make new ones!!
If you could start fresh, what goals would you set for yourself?
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Writers Block
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Posted:Mar 25, 2010 7:23 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2010 10:48 am
1569 Views
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Lately I've been pretty stuck as to what I want to post. Typically, my ideas come form some event that occurred recently or I read a post that triggered memories from past occurrences in my life. As of late, the brain has been dead.
A few of the blogs I've been following have made some really good posts involving extracurricular activities that are more sexual in nature. I actually love to read erotic stories and don't mind writing a few myself. For whatever reason, my head has been all over the place. I can't seem to pin any one thing down. I have had thoughts of various forms of sexual play in different places. Nothing seems to strike a major cord to let the thoughts flow out onto the screen.
So what do you do when you can't figure out what you want to write about?
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Are you LIstening Adult Dating zone?
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Posted:Mar 24, 2010 5:53 pm
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2010 2:28 pm
1640 Views
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One of my blogging friends on here has decided to start blogging elsewhere. In her post today, it really got me to thinking.I doubt the people that run this site really care but I think I will follow her. With many of the recent revelations that have been coming out about this site, I'm seriously concerned about my privacy. If Adult Dating zone doesn't feel they owe privacy rights to their "PAYING" customers than I need no part of them. I understand this is a business to them and making money is their primary concern. I really don't care what business you are in... If you provide any kind of service, confidentiality is a requirement. I do not feel they have the right to exploit our photos and general posted information anywhere they feel like nor advertise to ALL types of scum. I don't know yet if I will vacate this place but I doubt it. However, should this other blog site that I'm planning on visiting takes off, perhaps there will no longer be a need for Adult Dating zone.
Are you listening Adult Dating zone????? NO!!!! It is not acceptable to use me or anyone else I know in any way you see fit. PERIOD! I have a right to feel safe and have my privacy protected. If you can't do that, well then _________ You!!!
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Rain or Shine
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Posted:Mar 24, 2010 5:52 pm
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2010 2:27 pm
1576 Views
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Last night I watched the weather to see how great a chance the rain was going to be for today. I had already made a decision to ride the motorcycle regardless. So this morning, I asked the wife what the weather man said this morning and again, I told her...
Oh well.. who cares. Rain or shine I'm riding."
Today I rode out to Spring and back. With the exception of the beltway this morning where traffic was the pits, I had a great ride. At around noon, the sprinkles started and once more, I didn't mind. A little after 3pm, it started raining and this time I decided it was time to head out. It wasn't bad at first but by the time I made it to I-45, the sprinkles had turned into a full rain. I couldn't even keep the face shield open on my helmet. For a change, no one tailgated me while riding in the rain. Most often, I'm ignored on the bike. Today was totally different. I really appreciated being given a little extra room today. The one thing I wish I had done was wipe my helmet and windshield with Rain-X. That sure would have made visibility much better.
That's it for today's ride. Thanks for listening. Feel free to join me on another ride.
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Update to my SIL
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Posted:Mar 23, 2010 3:02 pm
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2010 1:13 pm
1556 Views
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Here is the update to my sister in laws fall this past Saturday. Her jaw is still messed up and she will follow-up in two weeks for a variety of reasons.
As for the cause of the blackouts that lead to the fall down the stairs, apparently it was only her blood pressure falling way too low.
They have intentionally taken her off meds fro her blood pressure to let things stabilize and then follow-up in a couple of weeks to see where we stand then. Considering all that could have gone wrong... we are very lucky she is doing ok.
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Opportunities
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Posted:Mar 23, 2010 2:56 pm
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2010 1:14 pm
1688 Views
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While replying to another one of my friends on her blog post, I got a response that was very significant for me. Here is that response.
Quoting: "Sometimes it's hard to admit that the ones we love can't fill our needs. We try to ignore it and pretend it'll go away, that need in us, "
It's no secret I'm married and that I still love my wife. For a long time, I denied my own needs and even attempted to deny that the needs even existed. I'm not real sure where or what caused me to start searching other than my own depression. I was miserable and had isolated myself from pretty much everyone with the exception of immediate family. This really started to become very unhealthy for me. One night while searching the Internet, I simply searched for the word "Passion" and here is what I found. (Adult Dating zone if you haven't figured it out)
Since joining here, I have been able to reach out to others that think similar to me and start socializing again. Now that I have crawled out of my shell again, I'm really enjoying making new friends and I do hope that these will not just be acquaintances. I hope that they will last well beyond my time here on this site.
This past weekend, I had the privilege to meet face to face with someone I admire and I really liked meeting. She suggested that I meet more people. I really want to but that isn't always as easy as it sounds. believe it or not, there is still that bit of a shy streak in me and keeps me from making that first step at times. Once you get my interest, I'm as open as I can be. I do look forward to more meets but many of my favorite contacts all live far away.
So what got you started here? what is it that attracted you to this place? Now is your chance too. You too can start to build opportunities to meet.
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Playing with our Emotions
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Posted:Mar 22, 2010 1:14 pm
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2010 1:23 pm
1656 Views
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Playing with one’s own emotions can be very dangerous. I have spent a lifetime making mistakes and trying to learn from them. Emotionally, I am probably more in touch with what I feel today than I was years ago but that too come from trying to figure out what the hell went wrong. I’d love to say I’ve mastered all this crap and that I have a perfect life today but that is far form the truth. What I can say is I have learned better way to cope and deal with what happens in life.
It is not much of a secret as I have talked about it openly in numerous blog posts that back in the dating stages of life, I did not date much. There were many reasons but most of them came from feelings of low self esteem. As a result, I played a friend role a great deal in life. The courage to step up and say what I wanted wasn’t there. So I accepted playing my role as friend and went with it in spite of what I felt inside.
As I grew older, I started substituting substances for relationships. It’s not surprising that these substances took over my life in rather negative ways. I’m very glad to report that that part of my life has been over for many years now and I can see no return to that life. Since then, I have obviously had numerous relationships since. Not all of these have been intimate ones but they have all had lessons learned from them. I have played many roles but there are some repeat patterns that are worth mentioning. One of the worst repeat offenders was the co-dependent. I’m not trying to be a therapist here but in this role, I took on my own problems but I also took on the problems of others. I’ll give you an example. I’m seeing a woman with many issues and I see this as an opportunity to help this person. What ends up happening is that if she has a bad day, I have a bad day. If she has a good day, I have a good day. My feelings had a direct link sort of that linked our emotions. The sad part is I become dependent on this person’s problems to survive. If I’m not in the middle of trying to fix her I’m not doing so well. This is very simplified but not too far off from the exact truth.
More often than not, people tend to fall into one of two categories. They are either a giver or a taker. Meaning I like to give of myself or I take and take from you until you can’t stand it anymore. We all need to both give and receive to stay in a healthy relationship but there needs to be a balance. One of my friends right now feels they are becoming a shrink for their past/current relationships. If all you do if give out and receive nothing in return, you will end up feeling totally empty. Each of us has a choice as to what role we will play with our families, friends and loved ones. Which role we take on can mean the difference between our being happy and fulfilled, total misery or somewhere in between. What role do you play?
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Finally!
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Posted:Mar 22, 2010 4:22 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2010 8:02 pm
1683 Views
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Progress at last!!! Over the past several years, I watched my weight go up and down and then level out. I admit I have been rather lethargic when it comes to exercise so I guess I can only blame myself for watching my body thicken up.
Recently, I have been noticing that the belt notch I keep using is different and my jeans and slacks seem to be having troubles staying up. So for grins and giggles, I tried on an old pair of jeans from several years back. Amazing!!! I actually fit into them without having to suck every thing in!!! It's the first time in I think 3 years that I've been able to put on a pair of 38 waist jeans.
I'm not quite ready yet to give up my wardrobe and get all new stuff as 38 is not my goal. Ideally, I'd like to see me back in a 36 inch waistline. I may be stretching that a bit as I haven't seen that since probably 1993. I don't want to look too thin again. It appears I will keep doing what I have been doing and let the results take me where they are supposed to go.
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To link to this blog (openwm) use [blog openwm] in your messages.
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