Happy New Year 2019 and Guess What ?
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Posted:Jan 1, 2019 12:17 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2024 4:50 pm
1232 Views
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I just returned from the local neighborhood bar to celebrate the New Year.
I am an alcoholic in recovery. It was amazingly easy to not have to drink. I had to ask myself after all these years why that was so?
I figured it out. I am mature - some would call old man - but I sure as hell don't see myself that way.
I would have in the day consumed some alcohol to "decrease my inhibitions" or make me more at ease with myself - you know - more confident with the ladies.
It is so fucking cool that I can be totally at ease with myself. I had a great time flirting with a young woman that was only 21. I saw myself flirting with her - not to get in her pants, but to genuinely build her self confidence. Why on Earth would I be so bold as to assume she might need to have her self confidence boosted?
She was an extremely pretty young woman. My God only 21. She was what most would politely call having a few extra pounds. If there is ANYTHING that I have learned in my 64 years it is this - women way way over think their weight and how it may or may not attract men.
Men on the other hand way way over think the size of their dick and how it may or may or may not attract women. The big difference, of course, is that the size of a man's dick is hidden - while the size of a woman's ass or tummy - is out there for all to see.
The bottom line to this is - that while I was way way too old to approach her for any kind of romantic, sensual, sexual content, I was not too old to boost her self confidence.
Because, as I told her, she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and because she was genuinely having fun, she was also the most attractive woman in the bar, irrespective of age.
And honestly, being able to see that look of "well thank you" was very rewarding to me. Her boost in self-confidence was obvious. I was pretty pleased with myself actually.
I guess because, I too was genuine, knowing that I didn't need to get my dick wet with her, helped me - well be me.
I am pretty simple. I love women, but also absolutely love being a man.
Am I that much of an absolute alpha dominates all he perceives - probably not.
But am I am the man that will act like a man and not a thug? Yes, I am.
You don't have to guess with me. I will protect you. I will cherish you. I will love you with all my heart.
I will not let you control me, or try to change me into what you think a man should be.
Because I am the man that women really wish they had.
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Thoughts that I have that I have thought but others put masterfully into words. Awesome words.
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Posted:Dec 23, 2018 5:03 pm
Last Updated:Nov 5, 2019 7:25 pm
1331 Views
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It's like you took a bottle of ink and you threw it at a wall. Smash! And all that ink spread. And in the middle, it's dense, isn't it? And as it gets out on the edge, the little droplets get finer and finer and make more complicated patterns, see?
So in the same way, there was a big bang at the beginning of things and it spread. And you and I, sitting here in this room, as complicated human beings, are way, way out on the fringe of that bang. We are the complicated little patterns on the end of it. Very interesting.
But so we define ourselves as being only that. If you think that you are only inside your skin, you define yourself as one very complicated little curlique, way out on the edge of that explosion. Way out in space, and way out in time. Billions of years ago, you were a big bang, but now you're a complicated human being. And then we cut ourselves off, and don't feel that we're still the big bang. But you are. Depends how you define yourself.
You are actually—if this is the way things started, if there was a big bang in the beginning— you're not something that's a result of the big bang. You're not something that is a sort of puppet on the end of the process. You are still the process.
You are the big bang, the original force of the universe, coming on as whoever you are. When I meet you, I see not just what you define yourself as—Mr so-and- so, Ms so-and-so, Mrs so-and-so—I see every one of you as the primordial energy of the universe coming on at me in this particular way. I know I'm that, too. But we've learned to define ourselves as separate from it.
Alan Watts
The Nature of Consciousness; also published as What Is Reality? (1989)
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Chemistry and the Old Fucker. Nobody Knows Latin?
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Posted:Dec 16, 2018 7:57 pm
Last Updated:Jun 26, 2020 10:13 pm
1731 Views
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Sometimes, but not often, I will come across a profile or message that seems sort of out of place here on Adult Dating zone. Someone is seeking their next "one and only or love of their life".
I do not hesitate to say that I am seeking a long-term relationship.
That is very different than seeking your next "one and only or love of your life". It does not go unnoticed that the adjective next - is actually at odds with its subject.
You see messages like:
"I let my heart control me when it comes to a man and so far it hasn’t said this is the love of your life".
This notion of the heart is different than chemistry or spark is it not?
There is all of this talk of "I will know it when I see it", or "I need to feel that special spark of mutual attraction. Get wet or hard in all the right places".
The truth is - that thing called "chemistry" - is EXACTLY that - chemistry.
Human beings have had a spoken language for about 100,000 years.
We have been procreating for between 5 and 6 million years. Written language is only about 6,000 years old. Without language or words, how did they find a suitable mate? (I do not use the word partner - they were certainly not exclusive partners).
They did it through chemistry. Smells, scents, exchange of fluids prior to intercourse. They had to determine if the mate was too close to them genetically. If they were too close familially then they "stunk" to each other. If not - well there we go. Even though we don't know it, we still do this scent thing. We do. Yes, we do!
That, by the way, is why I think internet dating is so challenging. For the most part, all we have is pictures, words, messages, texts, and maybe phone conversations.
For the more sexually expressive internet dating like Adult Dating zone, it is even worse. However, these sexual sites have been able to leverage our images to try to simulate this chemistry thing. Allowing us to imagine what their scents are like by staring at their bits. If you don't have decent and real images of yourself - shame on you. You can probably expect to get the results that you probably expect.
When it comes to same-sex partnerships, the rules must be different?
I personally do not have experience in any type of longer-term same-sex
"chemistry", and thus have no clue how that works. Experience with MFM couples or FMF certainly does not qualify one to speak to this issue. Perhaps someone else on here can take the time to address that much better than I could.
Back to us older folk:
As we have gotten older, chemistry becomes less and less important. Seriously. For those of us who just want to find someone to fuck, or otherwise fool around with, the chemistry is never that important anyway.
Perhaps this is also a feature of how people with large age differences often struggle and fail in a relationship
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** [When the difference is greater than the golden rule for determining the youngest age that would be reasonable to date, or the oldest.
For the youngest, take your age: divide by two: and add seven. Oldest reasonable age to date: take your age: subtract seven: multiply by two). For me @ age 64 that calculates to x = (64/2 + 7), or x rounds up to 40.
My apologies to those women/couples that I have attempted contact that are younger than this - I didn't know about this rule then.]**
I don't really apologize. Who am I kidding. To me, a hot 25-year-old body is a hot 25-year-old body, worthy of my attention. As a side note - I have yet to find that 25-year-old hottie with the emotional maturity to keep up with me.
My upper limit = 114!
My apologies to those in this age group as well. I should have tried to find you much earlier.
I have no clue where the hell this rule came from, it is not mine!
At some point then, it doesn't matter about the upper limit - just go for it.
Do yourself a favor. If searching for the next "one and only" know that Adult Dating zone is probably not your best venue.
But if you must seek the "love of your life", at least allow your heart to search for those people that can best prove themselves to best meet a list of desirable characteristics.
Notice I said, "a list". This means "your list". We really need to take the time and create a list of the subset of the most desirable things that are
"cannot do without" items. Make that list and have some faith in the items you have chosen.
This is my suggestion. It is only my take on the best way to find "the love of my life".
If you just want to fuck them, once, or on a regular basis, never mind all of this useless shit.
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If you are attracted to older men - TELL THEM!
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Posted:Dec 13, 2018 10:06 am
Last Updated:Oct 10, 2019 5:40 pm
1800 Views
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If you are attracted to older men - TELL THEM! We really don't wish to appear as perv's
if we approach you.
I you are attracted to mature, really intelligent men great! You are not alone.
If you tend to find them intimidating - don't. They still take their pants off like everyone else.
Yes - I a single/mature/older guy - true. I spent most of my adult life in a socially acceptable monogamous relationship, with an age appropriate woman.
But do not underestimate the fact that I too was once in my twenties. Do not underestimate the things I have learned.
I am blatantly going to copy something I found elsewhere regarding younger women that desire older men. (if you wish to know the source - just message me).
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"I like fucking older men. They know how to do it right. They know all the spots, have learned how to read body language, take time to learn my body and know what gets me all woo woo.
Young men don't do that. They are out to get their nut and then they are out the damn door.
I like it when they put their dicks in my butt and know to go slow and that this isnt a damn porn movie.
Older guys like to cuddle and to snuggle cause they always know that the more cuddling and snuggling and touching there is, the more nookie they will get later.
They like to talk in between..that slow, lazy, satisfied talk where you dont even realize they are in your brain and finding out what makes you tick."
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I to be clear - this commentary does not mean that I not attracted to older or "age appropriate" women. Quite the contrary.
Most if not all of the qualities that experience has brought to the older man, have also been acquired by older women. My ex GF is seventy.
I may be bi curious or bi-lite (I don't even know). Being bi-curious is either a real tun-on for women - or a real turn-off. Which is it?
It is obviously a turn on to gay or bi men. While I may get flirts or views or messages from men, I don't reply. My contact with men has only been with couples.
I do take these flirts or views or messages from men as complements. I guess I comfortable enough in my own skin as to not worry or freak about such things.
I have had and enjoyed a few MFM experiences with couples but to my chagrin even fewer FMF. I embrace my inclusion by couples - including 2 women.
Do I have a big cock? No I do not - pretty average I guess, depending on whose study you read. I still confident in myself despite my cock's "averageness".
I NOT average in any other aspect of my being.
I seeking to fill in the blanks of my experiences. I far more open minded and sexual than I ever thought I could be.
I open to discussing many things, but don't expect me to agree to everything.
I really intelligent. Any of you that are sapiophiles could find me attractive to you.
I Do Not Drink Alcohol any longer. Used to waaaaaaaaaaaay too much.
I don't care if you drink - doesn't bother me at all anymore. Just drink until I handsome/cute/funny/sexy and we will be just fine. I will drive us home safely.
Yes, I Know - where is my smile? Everybody knows if your going to attract someone you "gotta at least smile".
My Ideal Person At the end of the day, I seeking a lovely, sexy, adventurous, confident woman for a long term relationship. She may have a kink in her. She may not.
A woman with enough sex appeal and sex drive to be on this site.
I may run a course of FWB or regular meetings for a period of time. That is to be seen.
I don't know when I will find her. It may be in the next email I receive, it may not be for quite a long time.
Durining that time that we have not connected yet, I venturing out to round out my sexual knowledge and experience(s).
I learning some new skills in how to be a good Dadduy and DOM It is a life style choice, that I had never been able to entertain before now.Not there yet - but will be,
I don't know yet what that will end up looking like, but whatever it is, I know that we as a couple will eventually be better together because of it.
She gets me. I get her. It really is that simple.
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Make Her Stalk You For Sex!
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Posted:Dec 9, 2018 7:34 pm
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2018 7:24 am
1394 Views
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I did not know this!
There is a way for a man to ooze attractiveness.
A way to get into the head of any woman, no matter how cold or stubborn, and make her want to stalk you for sex.
She will fantasize about you pulling down her shorts and sliding your hard fat cock into her tight little pussy. And then into her hot tight little ass hole.
She may even beg you to do it dry so it hurts and makes her cry.
Can this really happen? Yes.
Can you handle this kind of brutal honesty and fantasy in a woman? Well can you?
Would you like to be able to trigger it?
Awwww - I call bullshit! There is NO way to get a woman to stalk you for sex. I do not care if you have a King Kong Hong Kong sized Dong or King Kong Hong Kong sized bank account.
It simply is never ever going to happen! EVER!
And to show you how 100% certain I am of this fact - I hereby DARE - NO DOUBLE DARE any woman that reads this to PROVE ME WRONG!
And I do not mean some cheesy ploy to act as if you are stalking your boyfriend. NO!
You must successfully STALK and convince ME to be sliding my hard fat cock into your tight little pussy. And then into your hot tight little ass hole.
CUM ON! I DARE YOU!
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Perception and Allowance
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Posted:Dec 9, 2018 10:47 am
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2018 7:27 am
1555 Views
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I was writing a message to someone about how I have come to sobriety after 40 years of being an alcoholic. A battle I will always struggle with - but for now I am good.
As I was writing this, I made a connection between what I had already accomplished with regards to my use of alcohol, and what I was seeking in beginning some type of BDSM lifestyle. My curiousity has now grown to where I am now taking action.
Then, I began wondering if I was just replacing one addictive behavior with potentially another one? What did I wish to get out of this lifestyle? We will see.
I have modified it a bit to better describe my newest connection. I hope you can relate to it.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
We hear all the time the notion of “you can’t love someone else until you love yourself first” – right? While I believe that ultimately that is true, it is the path to get to that point that is simply undefinable in its difficulty.
Trust me when I say, that I am not saying to you – “you don’t love yourself enough” and therefore you are, and will continue to be unhappy. More than one person would tell me that I need to love myself more. That made me take the time to absorb what that really meant. I don’t judge you that way because I didn’t like it much.
To me at least, what it meant was that I did not have the ability to release some of the major regrets of my past. I did love myself, but I sure didn’t like myself.
That may or may not be your situation. I don’t know you. I don’t know your past. I don’t know your strengths and vulnerabilities, so how can I assume that it is your case? I can’t.
When you steel yourself against an obstacle or a force you feel is against you, you will often use your past experiences to understand where you were weak in your defenses, and purposefully reinforce those gaps. This is the perception part.
Using past experiences most often placed me in a position of weakness, not strength. For what I would do is say to myself “dude- you screwed that up before – what make you think you are going to see any different result”? You know the definition of insanity pitch.
One critical way of thinking that came from many hours of looking for an answer and I have embraced (during my weathering the storm of abusing alcohol) is my realization that:
If it is not logical to you, or believable to you, it is not possible to you.
It is my strong belief that no one can force me to do something unless I allow it.
Now we know that simply isn’t true – right? Others force us to do things all the time. We are forced to go to jail. We are forced to pay taxes. We are forced to face our end of life.
The important part of this is (other than death itself), these other things are just circumstances that we find ourselves in. Our choices all along our journey has brought us to this exact set of circumstances. Circumstance(s) are nothing more than small periods of the larger segments of our lives.
What no one can do is force us to feel a certain way about the circumstance(s) that we currently find ourselves a part of.
At the end of the day, all we have is the way we feel and our experiences. We have to use our feelings (light or dark) as our navigational compass telling us if we are headed in the right direction. Light=we like this and are feeling the flow. Dark= we don’t like this.
The one reason (and probably the only reason) that we humans drink alcohol, or take drugs, or gamble or crave sex, to excess and can cause harm – is to change the way we feel. We don’t like how we feel, and we probably don’t like ourselves much either
To this end, our partners in life, our parents, our , or whomever, cannot be the ones we count on to complete us and make us whole and happy. To be a mirror that doesn’t reflect who we are, but who we want to be. We can’t expect others to do that for us.
While we may transfer power, it cannot be absolute. We must and will always retain our own sense of self to remain human. We may not even realize that by surrenduring or taking power, we are strengthening our self worth. We are liking ourselves more.
What we gain from any kind of BDSM relationship (to me) is quite simple:
We engage in this to change the way we feel - yes, but we are fortunate to be amongst those (the few) that have come to realize that in the end all we have is our feelings and experiences, and those are totally reliant on what we percieve and what we allow.
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The more things change, the more they stay the same.
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Posted:Dec 7, 2018 7:19 am
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2018 7:23 am
1751 Views
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I originally had this as part of my about me in my profile. It is far too long to be contained in that spot . Hence, I started a blog.
I've never blogged before, but something tells me that I will start to get good at it.
Maybe.
So here we go:
I have observed that there are several different "types" of members of this site.
Not an exhaustive list btw. Human sexuality is a very expansive topic.
1. Married or attached men (usually older) that are seeking to find "forbidden fruit" with someone other than their current partner. They will often comment on photo's of anyone else - "hot or hottie", "I want lick that", "beautiful or sexy".
We've all seen the comments - we know these guys.
2. Single men that vary in age that have very large cocks that are proud of them, ( I might add rightfully so) and put them on display to attract other similar men, women that love BBC or BWC, and couples of the same mindset. Their cocks are usually attractive (not necessarily in pictures) to many women and quite a few men.
3. Married or attached women of various ages that are also seeking something on the side - which is usally type 2 above.
4. Single. usually younger women that believe (and again usually rightfully so) that they can attract and get anyone of any type that I describe. Some are sometimes interested in things that were somehow (poorly) portrayed in 50 shades of gray. They also may be very couple friendly, or just looking for other type 4's.
5. Couples that are in the "lifestyle" or want to join the lifestyle. I have a LOT to learn about in this area. Many are looking for similar couples for MFFM (or the infinite varieties this offers). I am very and able to put in the effort required to become one of the M's in MFM or FMFFMFMFMFFMMFM?
6. Truly single - and yes - she is a mature or older woman. She has spent most of her adult life in some sort of "standard" relationship. Most often divorced. She is still full of untapped sexual energy and may also find herself seeking type 2's. She does not like type 1's because they can not be trusted.
7. Then there is me. Similar to a type 6 but I male.
I single - after a 21 year marriage followed by a 13 year relationship. Yes - I too a mature/older guy - that has spent most of his adult life in a socially acceptable monogamous relationship, with an age appropriate woman. The responses I get vary greatly by the audience. All the way from Ewwwww - Gross (mostly from women under 40 whose parents are my age) to " your - hotI want to suck that cock - Yummy! (mostly from gay men). I don't mind these comments, and I take them as they were intended.
The intention(s) I believe are to actually simply a complement, to get me to notice their cock, or to somehow get me to meet with them so that they can suck or fuck me.
I not gay or what I would even call bi. Maybe bi curious or bi-lite (I don't know) I have had and enjoyed a few MFM experiences but to my chagrin even fewer FMF.
Even though I not gay or completely bi - I have had a cock in my mouth.I not sure that I would wish to "work to completion" but maybe (I don't know - searching for answers here). Hand job to completion (both sexes) is okay with me however.
While I will admit to having a fantasy about Thai or Filippino "ladyboys". Older American TS/TV are not on my radar at all. It is still just a fantasy - and may stay that way for quite awhile.
I have not, nor do I, have much of a desire to have a cock up my ass - or my cock up a his ass. A her ass on the other hand? That is why couples are of such interest to me - because as types go - they seem to be far more open minded and comfortable in their relationships between themselves and others.
Do I have a big cock? No I do not - pretty average I guess, depending on whose study you read. I am still confident in myself despite my cock's "averageness".
I am NOT average in any other aspect of my being.
While, I have not had too much of an opportunity in the past with women and anal - this has become far more acceptable by a good number of women. This may be where an "average cock" may just be valuable. Here again "size does matter" You tell me.
8. Then there is those that are in the BDSM lifestyle (Male or Female of any age).
I am now just entering this realm. I am joining a club in order to really learn about my desires and how I fit in this lifestyle (if at all). The important thing to me is that I have seized the freedom to be myself. I have lacked that in the past. As I mentioned in a post on a different website (centered around BDSM and all forms of kink and fetishes)
"When I learn what I need to learn - then I will be ready".
Therefore my ideal person has some of the characteristics of all the types described above. While it is common to think that men my age (64) are seeking type 4's, I find myself looking for type 6's and then 5's.
I single again, and seeking to fill in the blanks of my experiences. I far more open minded and sexual than I ever thought I could be.
I open to discussing many things, but don't expect me to agree to everything. I however intelligent. Any of you that are sapiophiles will find my type attractive to you.
I Do Not Drink Alcohol any longer. Used to waaaaaaaaaaaay too much. I don't care if you drink - doesn't bother me anymore
So why do I say "The more things change - the more they stay the same"?
I remember vividly as a young 13-14 - searching for my sexual identity. I figured out fairly quickly that I straight. Today, it is very different and those that are jsut coming into their time of figuring out who and what they are have an acceptance (for the most part) of choosing for themselves what is correct for them.
The reality is they are as forced to take on the role of just a straight person.
I sort of feel like a again. I allowing myself to re-access my sexuality. I coming to pretty much the same conclusion as when I was 13 - that I am straight. The big difference now is that I don't feel artifically bound to being only that.
So the more things change (I am 64) the more that they stay the same. (I am 13).
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To link to this blog (poolsider63) use [blog poolsider63] in your messages.
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