my New Year
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Posted:Jan 1, 2018 11:41 am
Last Updated:May 26, 2024 4:45 pm
1210 Views
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It was a cold New Eve and we were getting ready to host a New Eve Party. She had only dressed me in sexy lingerie and said I would stay this way until the guests arrived and then She would get me ready to see the ball drop at midnight.
I was required to greet each guest as they arrived and show them in while their eyes looked at me in my outfit, or lack there of. Once every had arrived She led me to a corner of the room and stripped me in front of all our guests. Then She tied my hands above my head, cuffed my ankles into a spreader bar and She then attached a parachute ball stretcher to me and announced to every that it was time to watch the ball drop and attached the first of many ws! Ws kept being added throughout the evening causing much diomfort. Once enough w was added to take me to my limit She attached nipple clamps to my nipples and tied them to the ceiling stretching them severely to the point i almost forgot about my balls. i was stuck with w stretching my balls down and chains stretching my nipples up, then She added more ws causing my first ream! She laughed and said my limit was now being "stretched", after all wasn't that what i wanted, and what i had originally asked Her to do? i had not response only to agree as this is what i had asked for and asked for Her to do to me. She left and then came back with a full mouth gag and placed it on me. She said it was still half an hour until midnight when the ball dropped, and since i a had already reamed She didn't want to disturb our guests as She knew i would be reaming much more as She planned to "stretch" my limit much farther tonight until She made sure the ball dropped to Her satisfaction at midnight! Then she added more w and i reamed silently into my gag as She laughed at the look on my face.
At midnight the agony was finally over and She had expanded my limit to Her satisfaction, but the night was not over by a long shot. Once i was freed She forced me to the ground, on my knees...where She had placed sand paper for my pleasure! She tied my hands behind my back and pulled them up toward the ceiling until my face was forced down to the ground. She pulled my head back and placed something on a place on the floor and shoved my head down to the floor with my forehead on the floor and my nose shoved into what She had placed there, Her feces. She then pulled my hands tighter upward to make sure i stayed in place with my nose where She wanted, then attached a collar around my neck and attached my legs to the floor as i was unable to move. Then She said i needed to be made rosy red for the New Year and began paddling my ass. She made sure i was red and sore and said She would not stop until i was begging for Her to stop and She wanted me crying. She used many tools last night to get what She wanted, and She always got what She wanted and i begged Her to stop and was crying. i will now not be able to sit comfortably for a while.
After this She again untied me and gave me a big New kiss, led me to Her bedroom and forced me to make love to Her while instructing me on what to do, how to do it and when to do it the whole time. After all it was all about Her pleasure not mine, and She wanted to have love made to Her last night...Her way, and i was only Her tool to use to get what She wanted. But then again this is what i wanted as well.
She said this year will bring much more of the same and a huge reduction in my limits!
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Dating as Hers
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Posted:Nov 19, 2017 2:39 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2024 4:45 pm
1214 Views
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The next day She showered me and got me ready for a day of shopping and dinner, our first date as Mistress and slave in a “normal” relationship activity. i was nervous to see how this would be after the way She had treated me the day and night before. She allowed me to pick out an outfit and upon Her approval She dressed me. We left the house and headed to the mall. As we drove we listened to music and talked as we always had before, discussing life as well as our new relationship and our positions. We had fun laughing and joking just as normal, well almost just as normal as my cage was a constant reminder along with my “collar” for the day out in public. Today it was a black leather necklace with a pendant with Her name on it...as well as my toe ring. Every now and then She would do little things to remind me that this was still not a normal relationship, that i was still Hers, such as Her requiring me to ask Her for a drink while She held it for me to sip out of a straw. Little things in the car that i thought nothing of, but when we were walking through the mall in public it made me feel a little insecure. Although She was still treating me as Her slave, to us we knew what it meant, but to the public looking on it was just something that was a little strange or odd if they noticed at all. This was a major point of emphasis for both of us, not to subject others to our lifestyle as it was for us alone and those of like minds to us. The general public did not need to be subjected to our lifestyle, and should not be as we did not want to offend anyone...we just wanted to live as we desired and let them live as they desired. But we could cater our lifestyle into little things that others might think strange but not really notice or take offense to, but could still be humiliating to me.
Once at the mall She asked me if i wanted a pretzel like we usually did. i said yes Princess. She had me beg Her for this privilege in the car before we went into the mall. After begging and Her agreeing to grant me this privilege She led me by the hand into the mall and to the bathroom as She needed to go. She told me i had permission to go the mens room and as i began to walk toward the mens room She grabbed my arm and pulled me back and whispered into my ear, enjoy sitting down little girl! i had not even thought of this and She could tell by the look in my eyes. She laughed and let me go to the bathroom as She did the same. Sitting there i thought how disgusting and wondered how i let myself get into this situation. Then i remembered Her Pussy and i instantly remembered, how sweet it was! We met afterward with Her whispering to me asking if Her Pussy was still worth the humiliation? I whispered back, yes Princess it is! She grabbed my hand and led me to Auntie Anne’s Pretzels for an Almond Pretzel where She ordered for me. She ordered a regular soda for us to share as She said i did not deserve my own, and we sat in the food court talking and laughing as normal...and people watching while hoping people were watching us. It was a great pretzel and great start to the day!
When She was ready She told (ordered) me to stand. She took my hand and led me through the mall shopping. She held my hand most of the time as it was to show me She was still in control of me and i must follow Her and still obey Her even in public, even on our “normal” date and during “normal” activities. It was little subtle things like that, but still very effective.
The first store She led me into was Victoria’s Secret. We began looking and i was hoping for Her to pick out a sexy outfit for me...i was imagining seeing Her in it in my mind. When the young female clerk came to ask if she could help, Princess said we were shopping for a pink bra and panty for me. i was mortified and wanted to die! (Princess said if the clerk had given us a problem She could explain the situation as getting a costume for a drag party we were attending) We found one for me and then She began looking for something for Her as well. When She found something She said let this be incentive to do as i was told and maybe i would be given a reward. She bought my new outfit and made me carry the pretty little pink bag the rest of the day.
After shopping for a while we stopped for a break and coffee and talked about how things were going. It was the perfect mix of normalcy and BDSM for a relationship in the vanilla public. i said i still felt owned and without any power or control, but at the same time felt like it was a normal date and normal relationship. She agreed and said we could see how we could push the boundaries as we progressed. i said i wished i could be treated like a full slave in public, leashed and fully commanded. She laughed and said that would be nice in a perfect world. She applauded my eagerness to be controlled and willingness to be turned into a slave. She said She was curious as to how far i would immerse myself into my new role and how far we could take things. We continued with normal conversation, what we would like to do next weekend, vacations etc., just trying to plan for the future and how She could hold things over me and manipulate me...everything She learned She used to Her advantage and She was good at manipulating me. She would make me think i had a say in things, but in reality She guided every conversation and used what i wanted for Her own purposes and to ultimately control me even more without me even knowing what She was doing...and willingly helping Her to control me more even though i did not know i was doing this. She let me think this was a true relationship, but in reality i never was a true relationship partner, She pulled my strings at every turn.
When i wanted to go into a store i had to ask Her permission. When i saw something i liked or wanted i had to ask Her permission and get Her approval, even though i was buying it and paying for it with my money. (which this was another part of the contract, She would not control the money blindly. We would still budget and plan everything together but She would have final say and control...but i would be involved in the process and we would look at the account daily...as long as i was “available” to do so) Before going home we went out to dinner where She wanted, and of course She ordered for me. We always sat across from each other so She could keep an eye on me...and so She could make sure i was staring at Her beauty and at Her body. She said i had better never look at anyone else, that Her face was perfection to me and that Her body was perfection for me to worship and i had better be lusting after Her 24/7 and thinking of Her 24/7! And i did! She made sure i worshiped all of Her, Her Face, Her Lips, Her Ears, Her Nose, Her Boobs, Her Pussy, Her Ass, Her Legs, Her Toes, Her Fingers, Her Shoulders, Her Back, Her Armpits...every single inch of Her. She made sure i was emotionally and mentally addicted to Her and every single aspect of Her so no one else would turn me on...She was doing this so when She let me be used by other Girls i would still only want Her...and think of Her.
When we returned home that night She asked if Her Pussy was really so good it was worth the public humiliation of today? I said yes Princess, Your Pussy is worth it! I said i was completely controlled by Her Pussy. She said She never knew Her Pussy had such magical powers, that She must be some sort of superhero. She then asked if i wanted to see Her try on Her lingerie? I said yes Princess. She said then first i needed to try my own! She made me change right there in front of Her, no privacy for Her slave! Then She took a pic of me but said not to worry it was just for Her use and Her enjoyment. She asked where i wanted to eat the next day and i told Her. She said then i was to wear my new bra and panties under my jeans and suit jacket along with a harness and butt plug. She said if i wanted to do what i wanted then i had to pay the price...and i did. She said the suit jacket would hide my bra well enough as that it would hardly be noticeable, that is unless someone was paying attention!
The rest of the night and most of the next day was devoted to trainings...and the dinner experience with my butt plug was amazing! She was making me into an ass slave and wanted me to crave being fucked in my ass, and i was well on my way already!
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Down The Rabbit Hole
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Posted:Nov 19, 2017 11:48 am
Last Updated:May 26, 2024 4:45 pm
1685 Views
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Before signing the contract She asked me if i had any concerns or anything that was causing me to give this type of relationship a chance. i said there was one thing that scared me. She asked me if it was about the cock and ball torture? i said not, but that was a concern. i said the thing that scared me the most was the “normal” part of the relationship. i said i was afraid i would be miserable and not be able to experience this part...not be able to order a pepperoni pizza and enjoy a ball game, not ever be able to go to a ball game, not be allowed to have a mocha, not just go out to dinner and talk, or spend an afternoon at the amusement together. i said these are the things i love to do and enjoy sharing with Her. i said i know this statement means that i would never be a complete and true slave, that i do want to be treated as a slave but still enjoy spending time with Her and enjoying life and activities. i re-stated that i understood, and wanted to still be controlled at these times, but i was scared as to how it would work...or if it would work. She assured me that there are Mistresses that only want a slave, but this was our relationship and we could make it whatever we wanted it to be...we just always had to be honest and want to make it work. She the key was WANTING to make it work and if we wanted it to work out it will work out...we just have to put in the time and effort. She said that She would be the complete Bitch, the Dominatrix, i desired but could also be the Girlfriend at the times a Girlfriend was required and needed. She told me not to worry, that She would make sure i was happy and we still had a “normal” relationship as well. That She wanted Her slave to also be Her “girlfriend” but liked the thought of Her still always being in control by having the final say and me asking permission for everything...She said the fact i had to ask Her was what really turned Her on. She didn’t want to keep me from doing things i wanted to...She just wanted to control what i did and have the say if i could do them...and make sure She i did them with Her. She said even though She was in control it was still ultimately a 2 way street with me giving up control and allowing Her to take control and She could do this while still allowing me to be happy or do things i enjoyed...it wasn’t all about punishment and denial of everything i liked and wanted...more about Her control of these things. After this conversation i felt better, that we would still be able to talk and communicate, so my attention then shifted to the cock and ball torture. Why did She think this was a point of concern, and what exactly was She planning to do...and wanting to do? This was what filled my mind until the day of signing the contract.
We all gathered at my house where i had been equipping my basement into a dungeon (Her dungeon now).Once the contract was signed and we all had our copies of the contract She (which is my Mistress and She asked me to refer to Her as Princess so in public it seems like a term of affection rather than a term of ownership) excused Herself to go into the other room and ordered me to stand there and not move with my hands held behind my back holding my elbows. Upon returning She was wearing sexy lingerie which consisted of fishnets and high heels, extreme dark eye liner, which She knew drove me wild, and a bag with something in it. She sat the bag down at my feet and said that was for later. She ordered me to strip, right there in front of Her friends and i did as i was told, feeling humiliated and embarrassed the whole time. Standing there naked She looked at my cock and said how tiny and pathetic it was! It was throbbing looking at Her and She said She guessed i was glad to see Her but it was hard to tell as She couldn’t even hardly see my cock. She said She guessed She would have to buy me a dildo and harness so i could use that to please Her...as my cock could never please Her. She said that each time we had sex up to that point, She had faked it! She said i was so small and pathetic i should be on my knees thanking Her for even wanting to own a worthless slut like me. She said i wasn’t even a man, as how could any man allow a Girl to do to them what She was about to do to me? She degraded and emasculated me in front of Her friends until i almost wanted to cry in shame and embarrassment. She also spit on me and spit in my mouth and made me swallow...She wanted to know what was the matter as i didn’t have a problem swallowing Her spit while we were kissing? At this point She made sure i got a good eye full of Her Body, of Her Breasts and then She turned around and bent down with Her Ass in the air. When She turned around my cock was hard again and She dropped to Her knees and began licking my balls, then my cock and then She started giving me head and taking my cock all the way down Her throat until i came in Her mouth. She stood up without spitting or swallowing, stood in front of me, held my nose until i opened my mouth at which time She spit my own cum into my mouth and made me swallow my own pleasure. She said good little slut, i might make a good little girl after all. She asked if i liked the taste of my own cum? i said no Princess. She said too bad, i would be tasting it quite often so i needed to get used to it! She said eventually i would come to love the taste as She planned to make me a cum loving who would crave the taste of cum, need the taste of cum and beg Her to taste my own cum! She said that every time She gave me head i would have to drink my own cum. Every time i got milked i would have to lick up my own cum. Every time i was allowed to masturbate, which would only be in front of Her, i would have to lick up my own cum. Every time i was allowed to cum in Her Pussy i would have to clean my own cum out of Her Pussy. Every time i was allowed to cum in Her Ass i would have to clean my own cum out of Her Ass. She asked if i got the picture? i said yes Princess. She then got a wet nap and cleaned my cock, then took out a device from the bag at my feet. It was a chastity device, the CB7000, which She showed me as my eyes got wide with horror. She said She loved the fear in my eyes as She put my chastity device on me and locked it! She held on to a key and gave one to Her friend for safe keeping. She patted me on my caged cock and said it would remain caged at all times i was not in Her presence, that the only time it was to be removed was in Her presence so She could supervise me. She said no one could touch Her cock , Her property without Her permission and without Her knowing and Her approval, and that included me. She said i did not have any rights anymore and i was not even allowed to touch myself without Her authorizing it! She wanted to know if i finally realized just how much control i had given up to Her? i said yes Princess. She asked if Her Pussy was truly that good that i would allow Her to do this to me? i said yes Princess, Your Pussy is that good! She laughed and asked if Her Pussy was really that good that i was willing to give up my manhood for? i said yes Princess, Your Pussy is that good! She asked if Her Pussy was really good enough to give up control to and be ruled by? i said yes Princess, Your Pussy is that good! i am controlled by Your sweet Pussy! She turned to Her friends and said, talk about pussy whipped! She then reached into the bag and got out a pink collar and attached it to me, which had a pendant on it that read “slave”. She said i was to wear a collar at all times, and would have different collars for different occasions. She said while at work i would wear a necklace as a collar with a special symbol on it that meant i was owned by Her. She then go out a toe ring and said i was to wear this at all times as a show of ownership by Her. It was etched with the words, property of “Her name”. She slipped it on my toe and said it was to never be removed other than by Her for cleaning. She then attached a leash to my collar, yanked me forcefully to the ground and led me away on all four down to Her basement dungeon as Her 2 friends followed, laughing and making fun of me.
Once in Her dungeon She stood me up and slapped me hard across the face and said, welcome to Her world now bitch. She forcefully tied me up, bound me so tightly and painfully i moaned in pain and could barely move at all. She wanted to know what was wrong? She said She thought i loved bondage, that i loved being immobile and not able to move, that the harder and tighter the better? She asked if these were not my words? i said yes Princess they were. She laughed and said, bet i was re-thinking what i wanted now wasn’t i? i said yes Princess. She laughed again and said too bad, get used to it because this is what i wanted and i was going to get it! She said besides, it wasn’t up to me know as She owned me and could do whatever She wanted to me...and She wanted to keep me in tight, hard and restrictive bondage. She said i asked for it, so now i would get it...and She wanted it as well! i kept moaning and She finally said She had enough of the whining and put a gag on me. She said there, that was better and would take care of the pathetic whining. She said i had better get used to this because if i thought this was bad, just wait because this was nothing compared to what She had in store for me in the future! She asked if i had ever been bound this hard before? All i could do was shake my head no. She said She thought so. She said She bet i had been tied up and liked the feeling, but now She was going to teach me what true bondage was...and i wasn’t going to be fun and exciting but painful torture, but who knows i might actually come to like it. She laughed and said She was going to attend to Her guests and show them out. She turned to leave, walked up the stairs and turned the lights out on me, closed the door and locked it from the outside. All i could do was scream uselessly into my gag. There i was left all alone in the dark, tied up, unable to move or scream and at Her mercy. i truly had no control, i had no say in anything and i had no rights at this point. Whatever She wanted to do to me She could. However long She wanted to keep me here She could and no one would know, i was taken out of the public eye and in Her dungeon and my friend, no Her friend, witnessed me give myself over to Her and would do nothing as i said this is what i wanted and desired. i was Her slave and could only obey Her now and accept what She did to me. i was so scared and frightened, and in pain and agony. At that point i realized how hard my cock was throbbing against its cage. i was so horny. i realized how pathetic i was and how depraved i must actually be to allow Her to do this to me and want Her to do this to me. i hated this and loved it at the same time, i was so messed up. But this is what She loved about me and wanted me to be.
i had no idea how long She was gone and left me like that, but she finally returned and mercifully untied me and took my gag off. She asked if i was ready to listen and obey Her every command? i said yes Princess. She said good answer!
She went over all of Her commands, all of the slave positions i needed to know and would be required to learn. She went over all of her rules and how i was to act in public and in front of other people. She also went over when i would be allowed to speak freely and how things would work when we went out on dates and had “normal” activities...which i realized would still be as Mistress/slave. She went over how punishments would work as well as rewards. After everything had been explained to me She began training me by testing my limits and finding out how far She could push me, what i needed training in and how much training i would actually require.
After a long night She leashed me and led me to my spare room (Her spare room now) and put me to bed as She was taking the Mistress Bedroom which was Hers now. She said a slave was to have her own room and would only be allowed to sleep with Her on special occasions or when She desired. She attached a chain to my collar which was attached to the ceiling. It gave me enough freedom to roll around in bed but not get out of bed. She said i would be remained bound or chained in some form at all times, until i proved my servitude and loyalty to Her at which time i may have more freedoms. But She would still enjoy keeping me bound at most times for Her amusement and to remind me of my place and how i really did not have any freedoms anymore. She laughed and said if i had to use the bathroom through the night to ring the bell and She would me. She laughed and got in my face and said, see how little rights i actually had and how much i needed and relied on Her? That i could not even go to the bathroom without Her! And She said She would watch as i relieved myself as i was not to be left unsupervised and had no right of privacy. She asked me if Her Pussy was really so good as to allow myself to be treated this way by Her? i said yes Princess it was that good! She laughed and smacked my caged cock and said who knew, maybe i would even be able to use this again one day if She allowed! She turned the lights out and left me there for the night. There was also a baby monitor left on the night stand so She could hear everything that went on and so i could yell for Her if something was wrong or i did need Her. She did want to make sure i was safe and cared for even if She did not show it to me...as this was all part of the game, part of the lifestyle and part of the roles we wanted to play and agreed to. i just wondered if the roles we played would soon become reality and would cease to be roles played and actually become our true selves? The thought sent shivers through me...and my cock started throbbing again. i really was messed up! i eventually went to sleep dreaming of things to come.
Eventually She wanted Her slave to sleep in the same bed as Her most of the time after being trained, but She still enjoyed a bed to Herself often. i was required to sleep in my room unless otherwise instructed. She had Her bed to Herself on nights i slept in my room, or when She kept me in my cage or bound on a table or other device or fixture. She could be cruel at times. She had a cruel dominatrix side and then a sweet, cute Girl next door side which made me completely insane in love with Her as She could be both...and i never knew which one She might be as She could change in a second when She wanted to. She always kept me on my toes and guessing and at times i wondered if She was truly insane. Of course looking at me and my situation, i was probably insane as well!
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True self
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Posted:Nov 18, 2017 1:58 pm
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2017 4:27 pm
1335 Views
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This is my diary, my journal of who/what i am and who/what i wish to become. This is me putting down into words for all to see and read my true identity, my true self. i have never revealed myself before to anyone so this is a big step for me and my growth. i can finally begin to become what i want to be and what i desire to be made into. This is going to show me for who i am, my darkest desires and most depraved fantasies which i long to become realities. If You are reading this then You are someone very special indeed, someone who has earned my trust to share my innermost thoughts, wants and desires. Someone special enough to guide me through my journey and learn with me and teach me what i need to know.
Looking at me i am a typical guy. i love sports, that is one team in each sport i love to watch. i love gong to sporting events, sharing in social interaction, going out to eat...the whole nine yards. i also enjoy going out to dinner, especially pizza. i like the simple things in life such as going to a coffee shop and enjoying a mocha on a cold snowy day, or sitting outside on a warm summer day. My biggest passion is traveling and seeing new places and things. i don’t care where i go, i always enjoy everyplace and kind find something fun everywhere even if it is just a new pizza place or coffee house. One of my best qualities is that i am always optimistic and that i always look for the good in everything. No matter what the situation i try to have fun, even if i am doing something i don’t particularly enjoy...i just enjoy doing something, something new and different. i want to find a girl with the same quality, who enjoys everything and can have fun in any situation. i always do what my partner wants even if i don’t really want to, and in return i hope She will do the same for me when She would allow me to do what i enjoy. i enjoy all types of music from 70’s classic rock to 80’s rock to grunge to country. i will show You my iPod play list which will blow Your mind at the variety. i enjoy going to concerts, especially Jimmy Buffett. i greatly enjoy shopping and try to be fashionable. Whenever i go to a mall i know where the pretzel place is so i park close to it to have a pretzel first thing. Just one of my weird little habits. Another activity i enjoy is roller coasters! The thrill, the anticipation, the fear and the adrenaline can’t be beat.
i have a wonderful career and make a good living. i am basically a normal guy, doing normal things who everyone thinks is completely normal and vanilla. i have never been married, have no and want no in the future. This is very important to me, i don’t want to have any in the future. The reason i am still single is i have not found a Girl who i can tell everything about me, who can accept me for who i am and who can be the Girl i need Her to be. i do want a long and lasting relationship, hopefully marriage, but only with the right Girl and i won’t settle for someone less than who i desire. If You are reading this, then You are a strong Girl who can handle me and accept me.
What makes me so different that i have hidden who i am? i am a submissive who wishes to be treated like a slave most of the time. Ever since i was young i have loved bondage and have been more on the submissive side. i have always seemed to put others first and derive pleasure from others being happy. i have also found myself enjoying aspects of pain. Although i do not have much experience i know what i desire and i want to explore this lifestyle and this side of me further. i do not need a Girl with experience as it would be exciting to learn together, but of course a Girl with experience would be good as well. i have had experience with light bondage and spanking but not much more...although my desires are much darker. i love bondage and the feeling of not having any control. i enjoy being bound tightly, and painfully, to the point of immobility. The feeling of vulnerability is so amazing and knowing that someone can do whatever they want to me and i don’t have any control and can’t do anything about it other than to accept what is done to me. The most important aspect of this for me is having a partner that i trust to do these things to me...someone i trust to give up control to and to make decisions for me. This Girl is someone that i must totally trust and love...and She must totally love and trust me as well. To find a Girl like that would be the most amazing feeling in the world...to put my whole world in Her hands and to trust Her!
This life to me is not completely sexual, although that part is very important, it is more emotional and having this connection and interaction with someone...to trust someone like this. When i say i want to be a slave at most times, i mean that i do want a true relationship with someone. i want to go out on dates and do “normal” activities while still being controlled by Her. i still want the ability to do the activities i enjoy, but only with Her permission. i want to have rules to live by and follow, and have to ask permission to do anything. For example if i wanted to go to a football game i would have to ask Her permission and She would never allow me to go anywhere without Her. If i was allowed to go then She may make me pay a price for going such as a punishment later or humiliating some way while doing the activity such as wearing a bra and panty set under my clothes, or a butt plug or some other form of humiliation that would remind me She still owned and controlled me even in public doing what i wanted to do. i want to be able to do things, but always needing Her permission and Her only letting me do it in a way She approves of. This is why i said i would like to be a slave most of the time, as i still want communication and to be able to have the possibility of doing an activity i like...but if i could be a slave and still have this then even the better! At some point i may give up all options to Her, and She will know what i want to do and decide for me everything. This is a thought that i think i would like to explore and possibly get to one day...that She knows me well enough to make all decisions and i have given up total and complete control to Her. This may be a fantasy, but one to at least strive for...and i believe this could be a reality in the bedroom and at least and in private life.
After reading this i would like to read it again together with You and go over every single aspect so as we can have a better understanding of what i want, what i desire and why. And how we might be able to make this dream a reality for the both of us. Plus it would be my first embarrassment having to read it with You, to look You in the eyes and admit this is what i want You to do to me and what i am.
One thing that needs addressed is my sex drive. i have a high sex drive and wish to give up control to You by being kept in chastity. This being said i want to be used often and frequently. i understand that this would be for Your pleasure, and that there are times i would be punished without the use of my cock for punishment, for training or just for Your amusement...but we need to agree i would never become a cuckold and that you would use me often, allow me to masturbate or milk me. It would be good if Your sex drive was higher than mine to the point You would use me so often i would beg You to stoop! That i would beg you to not have any more sex! This brings me to another point, i want to be made to beg. i like the aspect of begging You as You are superior and control me. i love to be humiliated and verbally degraded. i want to feel like a worthless piece of shit. i want my manhood stripped away and want to feel like just an object. i would love for You to turn me into just a sexual being who only obeys and wants to satisfy its sexual needs. i want to made to worship Your Pussy. i want to be humiliated in front of all Your friends and even family if possible. i could be humiliated in front of some of my friends as well...but i have to be careful not to let anyone from my place of employment find out so we must be careful and come to an understanding about this aspect and have a list of people who cannot know about me and my lifestyle.
i also like to role play and greatly enjoy seeing You in costume and sexy outfits as it can be used to make me obey and get Your way...or as a form of punishment as i can look but not touch...or just for denial until You are ready for me rather than me being ready for You. In the roleplays the roles would of course often be reversed as to make me the submissive such as Little Red Riding Hood capturing the wolf.
i want to be made into a sissy. You should always refer to me in the female tense of “her” and “she”. i would like to be referred to as Your girlfriend to everyone. i could also be referred to as “it” to make me feel like just an object of Yours, Your property.
The harder and tighter the bondage the better. The more immobile the better. This is how i feel now and i would like You to make me regret saying these words.
The one area i have no experience in is cock and ball torture, although i have a great desire to learn. This is the one area You will have to be patient with me and train me. i want to learn and i want to accept any torture You want to give to me, but i need to build up in this area. i find myself to find pain very pleasurable at times, especially after the fact as every time i experience something i seem to want it again...want it harder...want it more extreme! Again i hope You will make me regret my words in this area. At this point i think i may have masochist tendencies. i feel if trained i could begin to want pain, beg for pain and get off on the pain. i’m not sure, but i feel this may be a possibility. Regarding this i want my limits stretched and my boundaries pushed beyond my limits! BUT i do have limits and want a safe word that must be respected at all times with no form of retaliation. i would love to become a slave with no physical limits and hope You could train me to become this. BUT again i do have hard limits, which are no men, no , no animals, nothing illegal and no drugs. The only one of these hard limits i would be willing to explore is other men...but only up to a certain point. You can stretch my limits but only so far.
We can sit down and go through all of the BDSM toy sites and equipment sites and we will add everything to a wish list. We will go over all objects added, why they were added, why i/You like them and how i/You hope they can be used. Then i will find pics online of things i dream about, of things i beg of You to do to me so You can know my true desires and the depth of my depravity. You can also find what You want to do to me and subject me to. This may also help You decide on how to progress with my trainings, what you can do for punishments and rewards...and how You can turn what I want done to me into something that could be a punishment or even torture.
i believe communication is the key and even after ownership the communication needs to continue as we can talk about scenes, about what went well and wrong. All of this can be done with You still being in control, just finding out from me and You would ultimately decide on everything...but You would just be getting all the information from me so You can control me even more in the future. Hopefully we would get to the point where very little communication is necessary...You would just decide and i would trust and obey without thought and accept everything You decide for us. i’m not sure how deep i could get into my position and how far it can be taken, but i would like to find out.
As You can see everything in this is capitalized for You and minimized for me and i as i am worthless and You are superior, this is just one way i feel i can be kept down and in my place.
A contract would be a must. Everything would be outlined, what was discussed above as well as other aspects such as allowing me to exercise such as run, play tennis, basketball etc so as i could stay in shape for You. We would do this together and will need to go back and forth with negotiations on certain aspects but will have something that will protect both You and i by stating what each party wants and expects. One key portion of the contract is that either party can leave the relationship at any time, but if i chose to leave i must disclose this to You and then submit a request in writing and pay You restitution of the amount You paid for me by double (This will be explained in a later post). After the final draft we would take a week to review and make sure there are no second thoughts. On the day of signing one of Your friends should be present for a witness as well as one of my friends. The entire contract will be read aloud by Your friend and ask if we both accept this contract and terms. At that point i must beg You to allow me to sign the contract and after permission i would sign, then You would sign and both of our friends would sign as a witness. All four of us would get copies to keep for safe keeping....and suddenly i would cease to have friends, they would all be Your friends and i would not be allowed contact with anyone without Your permission and Your supervision. You would become my life and my only friend, if i had contact with anyone else it would be by Your permission and upon Your request.
i believe the first contract should be for 1 year to make sure both parties are happy with the relationship and how it is working. At the end of the 1 year term it will be renewable for life which at that time an addendum would be added for this clause, signed and witnessed again with 2 witnesses (not necessarily the same 2 as at the beginning). Also throughout the first year the contract will need to be renewed monthly. On the contract there will be blank spaces for signatures and witnesses each month. This process will be to ensure both parties are in agreement and fully willing participants...and will re-enforce to me my slavery and my willingness to give up control and hand it completely over to Her. i could reflect on what She was doing to me and that i was willingly letting Her do this. This will make me feel more and more powerless and even more pathetic as i admitted i liked what was being done to me and wanted Her to continue to treat me this way and make me into what She wanted...what i wanted. By signing i would be admitting that She is not only controlling me, but i am willingly giving Her the power and authority to control me and i want to be turned into Her sissy slave. Each month this signature would also need to be witnessed by 2 others...not necessarily always the same 2 witnesses.
Every week we would set-aside a night to have a “normal” date to stay in touch with our outside interests as we would be living more of the BDSM lifestyle. But we would still be required to have a BDSM date night at least once every 2 weeks consisting of watching a BDSM movie together. We both would enjoy watching this type of movie and would allow us to continually see new things to try...and keep the excitement level up. i would also be required to do homework every 2 weeks by finding a new position, toy or role play that i was interested in. Upon finding something i would be required to write at least a 2 page report on what i found, why i liked it (or why i didn’t like it), how i would like this to be used etc. etc. etc. My report paper would be due at a specified time and would be written on the computer and emailed to Her. This would be something for Mistress to keep a file of. She would not do whatever i found to me that day, that week or even that month. But She would have things i liked and incorporate them into play when She wanted, whether it would be that week or in 2 months, but She could use these as incentive...or punishment. She would get a better understanding of my mind and mind-set...what might be working and what might not be working and information is power, and She should gather all the information possible about my likes, dislikes...everything.
Regarding my computer privileges and phone privileges, this would all be controlled and monitored. i would only be allowed on the computer when allowed and would be supervised or checked on. my history would always be monitored and checked etc. my phone would be tracked by GPS so as to know my whereabouts at all times. No privacy for a slave. my phone usage would always be monitored and i would not be allowed any communication unless approved and supervised other than for work.
The following passages are scenes that i fantasize about and hope You can make come true. Along with other scenes and fantasies that i could not even begin to imagine.
-Yours
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my situation
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Posted:Nov 18, 2017 12:37 pm
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2017 4:25 pm
1057 Views
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Ever since i was young i knew i was different and didn't fit the mold for a typical guy. i always fantasized about bondage and being tied up and how wonderful it felt to not be able to move, to have no control and be at the mercy of someone else. It always seems like the relationships i have never work out. i was always wanting something in a relationship than what my Girlfriends wanted. i was never happy and was too timid and scared to let anyone know what type of relationship i really wanted to have. i never told anyone and no one could ever figure out why my relationships never worked out. i always had a date and wise likeable and was attractive to most so finding a Girlfriend was never the problem, it was finding the right Girlfriend and finding the courage to share what really turned me on and what type of relationship i wanted.
All my friends always keep asking what type of Girl i am looking for, what is wrong with this Girl or that Girl. A lot of my friends think i might be gay, but i am not...just looking for a dominate Girl. i never could admit to them what it was that i was looking for, although i would like to tell them. When i did trust a Girl enough to admit what i liked, most times they were completely repulsed at what i wanted and they thought i was too much of a freak, or they tried a few things and liked to "play" but really didn't want to have this as a lifestyle. i began to think i was weird and i should move on from my fantasy of what type of Girl i wanted. i tried to make "normal" relationships work, but they never did. When i did find someone interested in BDSM the Girl wanted to be submissive, not dominate me. In my mind i always thought a Girl would love to have a guy at Her feet and obeying Her every command...but i have come to find out how wrong i was. Most Girls say they want a guy to control, but most really do not when they find a guy like me.
i finally made up my mind to try this website and see if i could possibly find what i am looking for. i am tired of hiding who i am and who i want to be and what i want to become. i want someone to see me for who i am, who i want to be...and for someone to want and love me for who i am. i want a Girl who wants a guy like me as much as i want a Girl like Her.
i have tried to find someone on other relationship sites, but it just never works out. i can never find someone who i am right for, and is right for me. There are also so many fake people out there, or Girls who are only wanting to "play", or "play" for money. i am not interested in just playing, i want to find someone who i can have a true relationship with...a true and long lasting relationship that just happens to completely revolve around BDSM.
Is there a Girl out there like i am looking for? I highly doubt it, but i keep hope that You are out there and i will find You...or You will find me. i know somewhere out there my Princess exists, it is just a matter of finding Her. Of being in the right place at the right time.
i am going to keep a blog of my ideal fantasy relationship here. All of this will be fiction, but it will give You a clearer picture of what i am looking for and of how my mind works...and possibly how sick and twisted i truly am. At least i feel i am sick and twisted from the reaction i have received from. i know that some of the things i write are fantasy, but at least it is a guideline of how i hope things could be...or at least try to be like. Hopefully You will find my fantasies normal, and if You are sicker and more twisted than what i write...i can't wait to meet You!
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To link to this blog (trainable003) use [blog trainable003] in your messages.
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