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Ten More Fun Sex Mishaps!
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Ten More Fun Sex Mishaps! I belong to a group online, and this weekend we posted a lot of funny stories in our sexual history. Thought ya'll might enjoy them. Note: The vast majority are NOT mine. I. I had a guy with a massive dick cum the biggest load I have ever had in my mouth. I swallowed and then 2 seconds later I puked on his bed ?? Sex: Same guy fucked me in the ass that day and I had the shits for days. Sex 2: My ex's stepdad walked in on us having sex and my ex threw me off and covered himself with the blanket...leaving me exposed for stepdad to gawk at ?? II. Girl nearly broke my nose coming so hard while on top that she pitched forward and slammed her shoulder into my face III. I threw up on a guys feet after I warned him not to cum in my mouth IV. Was using a Magic Wand (the older model with a cord) with a partner and, in the midst of action with lots of lube and squirting, I apparently made a connection between a frayed portion of the cord and ground. Needless to say, it was a very shocking experience, and I don't remember a few seconds of my life. V. My first time having sex with my ex-wife was in the dorm room I shared with a guy, also known at the time as her current boyfriend. He was in the room, too. He was completely oblivious, caught up in ing Metal Gear Solid instead of going to class. In my defense, he was an abusive asshole, so I don't feel bad for any of it. VI: time, my partner was going down on me, and our cat decided to climb the blinds, leap up on the hanging plant near the bed, and come down straight on my crotch because it apparently thought all that movement meant there was prey there. Claws in genitals unexpectedly are not fun in the least. VII: The first time I tried to 6 I was 16. We snuck to an abandd warehouse a couple streets away to have fun, as I have conservative parents who wouldn't let me have fun at home. Well as we're young and dumb we try as much as we can. As we got into the 6 position with her on top she giggles that I'm tickling her ass lol weeeelll next thing I know I hear this noise. I look down at my shoulder and see a steady flow of piss. I remember saying, "okay, get up get up!" As I pushed her ass off my face. That killed the mood lol she apologized and laughed as we walked back to my house. Told my parent I fell in a puddle ... VIII: Losing my virginity with a guy who was also a virgin, and had a really big dick. We couldn't quite figure out the logistics, and neither of us had thought to bring lube  I had some cranberry lotion on my table, so he grabbed that and slathered up. Kinda burned lol, and it hurt like a mother, that was a big penis to start with IX: Tried to fuck this chick who was a virgin, couldn't get it in so went down on her instead, she ended up squirting in my face(it's piss). Then when it finished I left the hotel room and my mate who had left her mate he was<b> shagging </font></b>asked why I had blood on my face. Turns out I had managed to tear the hymen after all.. X: It wasn't really a horror story for ME but it makes me laugh every time I think about it. I was banging of my first like real gfs and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed this wooden spoon on her desk that she had painted and sanded for some art class. Idk. Anyways, I see this spoon so I get an idea. I grabbed the spoon, pulled out real quick, yelled "THERE CAN BE ONLY " and then jabbed her right in the bajingo with the wooden spoon. She did not laugh as hard as I did. She did not laugh at all.  |
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